Chapter Two

The night was cold as I stepped out of Derek’s building. The rain was still falling but it had  lost some of its intensity. 

I stood for a few minutes, letting the cold deep into my bones,  before tilting my face towards the sky and screaming into the rain. 

I didn’t care who heard me, I wanted the ground to swallow me. 

I couldn’t put myself together. In that moment,  I wanted to be alone, washed by the rain after being so stupid for three years. I never imagined a day like this would come. 

I’d been through a series of rough relationships, always hoping the next one would be different. I thought Derek was going to be everlasting but I was wrong. 

Water splashed over my shoes, soaking through them, but I kept walking. 

I stopped underneath a streetlight and pulled out my phone. 

My hands were trembling as I opened the uber app and requested a ride. 

Five minutes later, the driver arrived. 

I climbed into the back seat with no idea of where I wanted to go. 

“Where to?” the driver asked. 

For a moment, I stared blankly at him, my mond completely empty. 

“Hey ma’am, no rush,” the driver said gently, glancing at me through the rearview mirror.

 “If you’re not sure where you want to go, I can suggest a few places. There’s a nice bar not too far from here, or a restaurant if you’d rather sit somewhere quieter and grab something to eat.” 

“Thank you, just take me to a bar” I said with a weak smile. 

I turned toward the window, the city was quiet. 

My phone buzzed in my hand, the screen lighting up. 

Derek was calling. 

“The audacity” I thought, my jaw tightened. 

I declined the call, but called again almost immediately. I quickly put my phone on silent and dropped it onto my lap. 

I wasn’t going to answer him. Not when I knew exactly what would happen. 

He would tell me to come back and apologize. 

I would fall for it like a fool because I was always the  understanding girlfriend. 

I was done with that phase. 

“Ma’am is everything okay back there?” The driver’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. 

I looked up. His gaze met mine briefly through the rearview mirror. 

I forced a smile. “Yeah”, I said, though my voice cracked slightly. 

A few minutes later, the driver pulled up in front of a bar. 

I paid him before stepping out. 

Thankfully the rain had subsided but I was still soaked. 

I hurried towards the entrance and pushed  the heavy door open with my shoulder, announcing my arrival. A few heads turned, curious, but lost interest quickly. 

The bar was sprawling, tucked between two sleek glass buildings and glowing beneath a massive neon sign. Everything inside was modern and sophisticated.

I slid onto a stool at the far end of the counter. Neon light flickered across my face. 

The bartender was a big guy, easily over six feet tall with broad shoulders and muscular build that made the black shirt stretch across his chest. His arms covered in tattoos. 

He looked at me, one eyebrow raised. 

“What can I get you?”

I could barely speak. I tried to order something but no words came out. 

I was sober, but the words felt heavy in my mouth. 

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. 

My heart was pounding so hard it felt like I was having a heart attack. 

Finally I managed to say “water”  and “maybe a towel” , I swallowed hard. 

He raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment. 

He reached beneath the counter and pulled out a clean white towel, sliding it across a long black marble bar with a dark wood base. 

 I grabbed it and pressed it against my face, soaking up the rain.

“Rough night?” He asked setting a glass of water in front of me. 

“Yeah” I said, my voice muffled by the towel. 

He studied me for a second. 

“Sorry.” How about something stronger?”

“I think that would work,” I said.

I took a sip of water, letting it slide down my throat. 

He disappeared behind the bar and returned a moment later with a glass of bourbon. 

“Thank you” the words barely leaving my mouth. 

He left me alone after that, busying himself with polishing glasses and pretending not to notice me. 

I fumbled in my purse for my phone. My hands were still shaking, my fingers numb from the cold. 

I finally pulled it out, the screen was filled with dozens of texts and mixed calls from Derek. 

“Hey babe, I am sorry, we need to talk, please call me”.

I scrolled past them, instead I searched through my contact for my best friend, Sarah.

 She had been a rock through every storm. We’d been friends for seven years.  

I called her, it rang, but there was no answer.

 I left her a voicemail. 

“Hey, Sarah. Please call me” I said my voice breaking. 

Sarah was probably curled up at home watching N*****x with her cat, eating ice cream, and completely unaware that my entire life had just fallen apart.

It's the weekend. What do you expect from a single lady? 

I placed my phone on the bar, and took a slow sip of the bourbon. 

Derek and I had shared the same dreams. We dreamed of having kids together, buying our own house, taking vacations. Everything we had built in our minds had shattered in one night. 

“Will I make it through this phase?” I thought. 

I love him without reservation, I had dreamed of forever with him. My heart was so heavy it was difficult to breathe.

I hadn’t felt this broken in a long time. 

Tears ran down my cheeks, I gently wiped them away. 

“Hey, I need some more” I said, catching the bartender's attention.

He quickly brought another rock glass. 

 I took it without hesitation. The cold bourbon burned down my throat. All I wanted was to numb myself enough to forget the last three years of my life. 

I reached my phone and called Sarah one more time. Still no answer.

I frowned at the screen. 

“Where does she keep her phone?” I murmured.