Chapter one

Breathless.

   *Kate*

  Imagine walking in on the man you love cheating on you.  

I already know what you’re thinking. I guess you’re all correct. But walk with me through this journey.

My name is Kate West. Before that night, I thought I knew where my life was going, I thought I had everything I wanted. 

 I was wrong.

The rain had been hammering down for hours, the kind of rain that made you question your life choices. I stepped out of my apartment as the Uber pulled up at 8:00pm. 

Rain tapped against the window, blurring the streetlights into watercolor smears. 

A few minutes later I arrived at my destination. I paid the driver and struggled to open my umbrella as I stepped into the cold of Los Angeles night, pulling my jacket tighter around me as I walked towards Derek’s apartment. 

I was soaked to the bone. 

The hair I’d spend hours styling was plastered to my skull, my jacket was drenched, but I didn’t care. It was Friday, all I wanted was to fall into Derek’s arms after surviving the work week and eat the Thai food he’d promised me. 

My trembling hands struggled to find the right keys. My fingers were cold and I fumbled before finally unlocking the door. I kicked off my wet shoes, relief washing over me as I stepped inside. 

The lights were dim, I turned them on, wondering why they’d been off. Then I saw a pair of shoes on the floor. 

Strange, I thought. Derek and I used to live together before I moved into my own apartment. He was never this careless. 

“Babe” I called out, my voice echoing a little. “Babe, I'm sorry I couldn’t make it on time, I had to finish up some work at the office.” 

No answer. The only sound came from the TV. 

I passed the kitchen. The faint smell of leftover pizza hung in the air, mixed with some floral candles. 

Derek never burned candles. He always said they were a waste of money. 

It was strange. 

I quietly walked down the hallway. Then I heard a voice. At first, I thought it was the usual TV show we watch together. Then came a woman’s laughter, which was real. 

My stomach tightened. 

With every step, something felt different. The voice sounded different this time. It was real. 

I paused, trying to catch my breath, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

I thought it might be his sister. But he didn’t mention she was visiting. Derek and I shared every detail of our lives. If she were here, I would be the first to know. 

 The laugh became louder, followed by a low murmur. His voice sounded different this time like the one he used when he was trying to be comforting.

I opened the door quietly. 

And couldn't believe my eyes. My brain couldn’t wrap around what was happening, I thought I had finally found the right one after a series of heartbreaks. 

“Oh God,” I whispered to myself, my hands flying to my mouth. “Not again.”

The man who made love to me was making love to another woman in the same bed where I had felt safe. 

A blonde lady was straddling him, wearing nothing but a pair of lace cheeky panties. Her hands were on his chest, fingers spread like she owned him. Derek’s hands were on her hip.

For a moment, nobody moved. Time didn’t stop, that’s the thing movies get wrong. Time kept going.

 I scanned every single detail. The way the blonde’s hair had that expensive balayage. The way her body fit against his like she’d been there before.

She looked familiar. Someone from Derek’s work place. She was the one with the effortlessly carefree laugh and the annoying habit of touching his arms when she talked to him.

 I’d never liked her, I knew something was off but I told myself I was being jealous and insecure. 

The late nights at work. Not replying to my text on time. Always coming up with excuses when it was time to spend quality time with me. The gym. It all made sense now.

I screamed loudly “Wow”. 

At this point, I had seen enough. I was done acting all strong. 

Derek froze. It was like time stopped, the blonde woman scrambled off him like she’d been burned. 

“Babe you’re early” he said, his voice cracking. 

“Early?” my voice flat with disbelief. 

As if I’d interrupted a meeting. I just stared at him, my lips parted slightly, my heart pounding in my ears.

“I can explain. I know it looks bad” he said, shoving himself out of bed. 

“Oh, really?”. I said, startling myself with how small and shaky my voice sounded. “Please explain. Tell me what it looks like.”

The blonde scrambled to her feet, grabbing her black dress from the floor. Her face was flushed, her lipstick smeared. 

“This isn’t it, I’m sorry” she stammered. 

“For how long?” I asked, my voice soft but steady.

Derek hesitated.

“That’s the answer. Got it” I said, turning and making my way out of the bedroom with tears burning in my eyes. 

He reached for me.

I pulled away as if his touch had burned me. “I have always trusted you” 

“Gosh, I was a fool all this time. How could you?” I said, my voice raising without hesitation. 

“Baby I can explain,” he said, trying to grab my hands.

“Don’t touch me,” I said, my voice sharp. 

“I was going to tell you” he said, the words spilling out in a desperate rush. Things with us have been difficult lately. You’ve been so stressed with work and we haven’t been connecting. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you. I’m sorry it came out this way. 

“I have been with you for three years. Next week is supposed to be our anniversary”. My voice climbed an octave, cracking at the edges. 

Derek ran a hand through his hair. “You’re  over reacting. It’s just a girl from work. She’s nothing to me.”

My expression went dead “overreacting?” 

The audacity of him almost made me laugh. 

I walked into the living room, my heart pounding. I slipped my shoes on and  grabbed my umbrella. 

I turned towards the door. Making my way out, I’d had enough.

 “What did I do to deserve all this?” I whispered to myself. 

“Please don’t leave like that” Derek said 

I paused, turned back towards him. “You could have thought about that before I walked in” my voice was cold this time. 

I walked out.