chapter 36

“Thoughts…”

Today I wake up feeling weak. I have some feeling that something deep is about to go down. I don’t know what it is but I can feel it. Whatever it is, I hope it’s not Ronald getting into trouble. I am sick and tired of fighting for this relationship. I won’t be able to do it anymore. If he messes up this time, I’m going. For good. I’m sick of the person I have become because of Ronald. 

I have become a person who can’t even get their priorities straight. I don’t know who I'm gonna be without him. I don’t want that kind of life. I don’t want to be his victim anymore. I cant always be the one who’s always dealing with shit on the daily. What kind of love is this if I can't even get away from him? Is that love?

What I know is that love has to be beautiful. I need someone who’s gonna fight for me. Yes, he does fight for me but it’s not enough. I am not brand new to emotions. I know a lot