It's a weird but nice feeling to be sitting in the park, with my husband.
My husband. I smile at that.
"What's that smile for?" My smile slips off my face at Keith's question.
" Oh nothing." I quickly say, looking away.
I feel him lean close, where his breath fans my neck, giving me goosebumps.
" Akiandra." He says, close to my ear.
"Mhm." I refrain from looking at him, heart beating hard against my chest.
" I don't like you not telling me anything. Now tell me."
" It's nothing really, it's totally silly." I turn my head to look at him , only to be frozen in place when I see how close our faces are to each other.
There's like a small amount of space between us, dangerously so. " Kea...." He murmurs leaning in.
I can't move away, why can't I move away? I mean it's bad enough that he won't be mine for much longer, not that he was, he belongs to....What's her name anyway?
" I have something for you." I say out loud, jumping up to my feet. A small smile releases from me, knowing I moved away in time.
" What?" He blinks twice, taken back by surprise.
"Oh um yes. Your aunt gave me something to pass on to you." I say, sitting back down, right at the end of the bench , where the safe zone is.
I hear him sigh, shoulders sagging as his eyes droop low. Maybe this was not a good time to tell him? No, if I don't tell him now, I'll never be able to do. Keith is a very hard man to get, and I don't mean that in these circumstances but in general.
" Keith, your aunt Jill didn't mean to offend you or cross - "
" I don't want to talk about it." He mumbles, still not looking at me.
" I'm sorry to say this but you'll never want to talk about it, you can't be alone. You need someone there - "
" I'm fine." He jumps up on his feet, looking down at me." Now let this go." He walks off.
" I can't let it go. You need your family, you can't keep pushing them away, your mom - "
" Don't go there." He warns, still walking, not even looking at me..
I know I should stop now, but Keith can't keep bottling things up, he can't keep pushing away the same people who keep reaching out. They need closure as a family.
"Your mom wouldn't want this for you. She wants you - "
"What the fuck would you know about what she would have wanted?!" He shouts, spinning around to face me.
I jump at him shouting at me. He frightens me when he's angry." Keith she - "
"No, just stop talking cause you don't know shit, you know nothing. I mean how could you when you have no family. You have no one, so don't you dare stand here and preach to me about family!.....Now get out of my face, go!" He ends off, his chest moving up and down rapidly, while my heart has just sunk to my feet, my eyes watering in the process.
"Okay Keith. I will leave you alone." I murmur before turning around and walking away, my chest tight with the outmost hurt.
I'm hurt, it hurts to hear such words come out from the person you love. Being directed to you even. I know it's probably my fault that I pushed him so far, pushing and pushing till he snapped. But I was trying to help, trying to get him to see my view and maybe have something to think about.
But he didn't have to go so far, he didn't have to throw the fact that I have no family in my face. That hurt my heart. Doesn't he know that I'm still sensitive over my mom being gone. No he doesn't. I don't think he ever will, because what he so wanted, was what he will get. I will leave him alone.
*******
"He hurt you, didn't he?" That's the first thing that I hear from London, the minute I show up at our complex.
"Just a simple misunderstanding." I mumble, attempting to walk past him. I don't want to be rude but I'm just not feeling up to talking.
My attempts fail when he blocks my way." Kea.." He steps forward, cupping my face, his eyes taking in my face." This is not right." He mumbles, his eyes moving over my whole face.
" I'm fine." He opens his mouth to protest but I cut him off.
" I'll be fine, I promise. I just need...ah!" I gasp when I'm picked up and held bridal style.
"W- what are you doing? - I'm married, you should put me down." I say, wiggling to get free but he tightens his hold.
" Shh..forget that, forget everything and just rest." London says, without looking at me.
" But - "
"Rest Akiandra." He demands, pausing for a minute while quirking his brow in a challenging manner.
I immediately shut up and lay my head against his chest, exhaustion already taking over. What's wrong with me, feeling tired so early?
My eyes begin to droop low as he enters through a door." Where are we?" I murmur, eyes closed.
"My apartment." I tense up at that. " I'll let you rest in Theresa's room." I relax upon that knowledge.
No matter what, I'm still a married woman.
Not long, I'm placed onto something soft and I realize that I'm on the bed. The bed dips beside me before I feel fingers going through my hair." This can't keep going on, you deserve better." I hear him say, his fingers working me to sleep.
" I love him." I murmur in response before falling into a deep slumber.
I'm a dreamer, I've always been hopeful of something better happening in my life. Like how I dream of the day I'd be happy with Keith, where the world knew of my Prince. I'd always referred to him as my prince because he was and still is the only man my heart has flipped for. The heart wants what it wants.
So as I drown into dreamland, one filled with Keith and I walking along the beach, hand in hand, love evident in each others eyes, you can imagine the deep frown on my face as I'm interrupted by the sound of whispers around me.
The dream evaporates as my ears alert at the sound of the whispers.
" You say he hurt her?" Someone whispers.
"Yeah, whatever he might have said really hurt her, you could see the pain in her eyes, hard not to miss it." That's London I hear.
" Damn it, I wish I was there for her two years ago, I would have advised her to not even marry him." Now I know, it's James.
"Yeah and we don't know each other well but I just have the sense to protect her, to wipe away all that pain she's gone through." London says.
" She's my little sweetheart. And as much as we may hate how he's been treating her, we can't ignore the fact that - "
"She loves him. Her heart belongs to him." London finishes off for James.
"Yeah but he shouldn't play with it or take it for granted, she's worth more then he's giving her."
"That's true. Maybe he needs a fist in his face to be reminded of the value of ones heart." London says, threateningly.
My eyes open and I blink a few times, getting rid of sleep and adjusting to my surroundings, finding the two guys standing not too far from me." Hurt him and I hurt you." I warn, their heads snapping in my direction so fast, I'm surprised they don't get whiplash.
I sit up, facing them." I get that you care about me and want to protect me, but I won't let you hurt him." I say.
"But he can do so to you?" James says, quirking his brow at me.
I look away, avoiding their eyes as I rise up to my feet." I should get going." I tell them, attempting to walk past but I'm blocked, by James, who places his hands on my arms.
"Oh you are not going anywhere..."
" But - "
"You've gone on to cry and be alone in a room somewhere for far too long, not this time." He says.
" Yeah, now you have someone." London adds, stepping aside James.
"You mean people. "My head picks up at the sound of Theresa's voice, as she comes over to me, pushing through the guys and forcing them to step aside.
" Look I know we don't know each other that well, but I already care about you. The guys told me everything." My eyes widen as I look up at the guys, James smiling sheepishly as London shifts uncomfortably on his heels.
Them and their big mouths.
" You can say that again." Gosh I said that out loud." Yes you did. But the fact of the matter is, they can't keep anything from me, it's impossible. I'm quite persuasive."
No doubt if even James, couldn't keep his mouth closed." Look Kea, I don't know how things are for you guys here, but from where I come from, when you care about someone, you go all in, no matter how long you've known the person. So here I am, in fact here we all are as your friends."
" Family." James coughs out, earning a playful glare from Theresa before she looks back at me." You had no one back then but you have us now. We are your family."
My lips quiver at her words, my eyes take them all in as the first tear slips down my cheek. I launch myself at her, totally surprising her. Not long , I feel other arms wrap around us and I don't need to guess who's they belong to.
" Thank you." I murmur, my heart jumping in gratitude. All events from earlier disappearing like I hadn't just gone through pain.
I've always loved music, especially live music from all new artists. They bring something unique to the table and there's always a story to be told.Like right now, as I listen to each artist that comes up on stage, giving us a piece of themselves. James had suggested we go out and in my mind, I'd initially thought he meant the club but no, he picked one of our old spots. Ben's grill.Ben's grill was a hang out place for high schoolers, though it intended to just be a bar , it proved more then that when more people loved the food more then anything, soon we had live music and whola. Open Mic.So here we are, open mic at play and me just having a nice time out with my friends. More so my family.When Theresa and the guys claimed me as part of their family, joy took over my heart. I had people who cared about me so much after losing so much. Growing up it's always been my mom and I, and having her gone had hit m
My heart beats hard against my chest as I step in, the silence so loud and heavy on me while I await for just about anything to happen, yet nothing does.Closing the door quietly, I step in further, only to stop in my tracks at the sight of him laying soundly . Why am I here?As if in immediate answer, my feet move on their own, leading me to him where I get a better look. He doesn't look too good, he's sweating.Natural instinct takes over and I reach to the nightstand, grabbing an already wet cloth and placing it on his forehead as I sit on his side, being careful to not wake him." Kea." I think he murmurs but I'm not sure.Leaning close to hear, like I thought, he is calling my name." I'm here." I whisper out, cooling his face with the wet cloth, not wanting his temperature to increase.Without another word, I attend to his needs, letting my heart take ov
" Akiandra Salvatore are you listening to me?" Theresa says on the other line." Yes I am." I tell her.I can't believe he actually invited me to eat with him tonight, that has only ever happened once before I knew he wanted to divorce me.A lump forms in my throat at the word divorce. Gosh I'm an emotional wreck these days, what's wrong with me?" You're not listening are you?" Theresa's voice breaks me out of my thoughts." I'm sorry Theresa, what were you saying?" I ask, now paying attention." Are you seriously moving back there?" She asks me." No, I'm just staying here for a few days until he's absolutely better."" And by better you mean until he goes back to yelling and ignoring you, as if you aren't his wife." My chest clenches at her words." Theresa I just want him to feel better and right after, I'll be gone
I've been avoiding him today, I remained locked in my room, I mean room. It's no more mine anymore. I couldn't face him after last night.I might have left him with parting words but a part of me feels bad, it isn't by choice that his heart chose someone else. I love him, I do but I can't force him to see me in a certain way or reciprocate my love, it wouldn't be fair to the both of us, because at the end of the day he'd be kept away from his true love and I'd be left heartbroken.A bigger part of me feels relieved that I voiced out something. I don't like when he shouts or yells at me, it hurts my feelings and makes me feel small. It hurts more when the person you love does something like that to you.I couldn't control my mouth and sure had to release something, it might have been a mistake but right now, I'll stand by what I said."Sweet girl, I was about to come up there and force feed you. Don't sc
" Akiandra. Kea come on, wake up. " I hear someone say from a distance as I'm shaken awake, but I don't want to." Kea, goddammit wake up!" Keith? Since when does he wake me up?" Kea?!" Again I'm shaken awake and this time I hear shuffling." Why's she not waking up?" Is that Maria sobbing, why's she crying?" Kea please." No this is all wrong, Keith wouldn't say please.The shaking continues , totally irritating me." S-stop," I murmur . Wanting the person to stop." Wait, Kea talk to me." Keith says close." S-stop, I want to sleep. " I try push the person away, only to push on air.Soon I hear a chuckle and a sigh." Oh thank God." Maria breathes out of relief, I detect." She's fine -she's okay." Keith says beside me and I feel hands touch my face, moving hair away from my face. Th
We stare at each other. That's what we've been doing as minutes passed by." Akiandra what is this?" He steps into the room, closing the door behind him." Just as you can see, I'm giving you, your life back. "I watch his head drop down, hands on his hips. He bites at his lips and nods his head before looking up at me again." We are still married.""Not for long" I quickly say, cutting him off." Is this about yesterday because I - " He stops short of his words.He can't do it." You don't have to strain yourself or force yourself even, to say it. You can't apologise, it's not you, it's not in you to do so and you know what? - I've made peace with that." I take a breath before turning away from him and taking my bag in hand." I've made peace with a lot of things, handled a lot of things and still I stood. But last night was a different
" Come on, you have to do it sometime today." I say, palm against my cheek." Urgh I can't." He throws his hand up in defeat, slumping against his chair and glaring at the piece of vanilla cake in front of him.I bet he wasn't exaggerating when he said, it makes him uncomfortable and takes him back to that time." You know you'll never conquer your fears if you don't try," I say." It's just staring at me." He shudders." You know what, I've got this." He suddenly perks up, taking the small plate in hand.I sit up straight, hoping that he's about to take at least a bite, only for him to change direction and throw the cake away." What are you doing?" I ask in disbelief." I couldn't do it, it had to go." He says, sighing in relief."O.kay, would you like chocolate cake then?" I pull out the piece of gooey chocolate cake out of the fridge, p
Right after Keith had left, I found my body moving on it's own. I was busting some serious moves and squealing with joy, a permanent smile remaining on my face till I laid in bed.How long I'd awaited an apology. The day had filled with a new norm for myself, only for things to take a turn when he just rocked up on my doorstep.What had caused a change of heart or even changed the way he viewed things. Such questions stay locked at the back of my head, not wanting anything to mess up the wonderful moment I feel.In the two years of my marriage , such an act of him on his knees, pleading for forgiveness and asking for my friendship has never happened.The moment those words left his lips, I swear my heart stopped. Giddy, that's how I feel, to have a much closer look at his life, being led into his thoughts, dreams and all. I don't even know what could be more worth it, then getting to k