CHAPTER HUNDRED AND FIFTY-FOUR

MOONA POV

Brian puts the car heater on and its warmth feels amazing on my cold feet. I want to tell him thanks, but the words won’t come. I want to reach out and touch his hand, but I’m scared he’ll pull away.

So I sit still, staring straight ahead as he drives us fuck knows where.

He’s nervous and it’s obvious. His fingers keep tapping the steering wheel as we head back to Lydney. It’s weird to be in a car again, travelling roads in a flash that would’ve taken me hours on foot. I’m guessing he really must be taking me back to his, no matter what his co-worker might have to say about it, but he turns right when he should turn left onto his road and carries on down the High Street.

“Where are we going?”

“A friend’s.”

I stiffen in my seat, and even that stupid small movement sets my ankle off hurting worse. “What kind of friend?”

He glances in my direction and I feel a weird flutter in my belly. “You met him briefly. The guy in the suit from Sassy’s.”

“The posh guy? Can’t see him giving me a warm welcome.”

I can’t believe he’s taking me there, to hang out with some rich snob who probably thinks I’m just a useless piece of shit. I’m tempted to open the car door, bail out and hope for the best, just to save myself the awkwardness, but I could do without any more injuries right now.

“He isn’t going to know about it, not yet anyway. He’s away on business.”

Even fucking better. I groan. “You’re going to break into his house while he’s away and let me squat there? Some friend you are.”

That makes him smile. “I have a key, which hardly makes it break in. I’m house sitting. And you won’t be squatting. You’ll be a guest.”

That makes me smile too. “I don’t think I’m the kind of guest he’d want there, somehow.”

“It’s only going to be for a few days, Moona. I’ll be sure to smooth it over with him when he’s back.”

A few days. The thought of being back on the road after that isn’t great. Maybe it’ll be different when my ankle eases up.

I dare to ask the question. “And then what? When he eventually get back?”

He shrugs. “We’ll work something out.”

I want to ask him what we’ll work out. Whether he’ll be coming with me wherever I end up going. Whether he looks for me every night means that he likes me just as much as I like him.

I’m eighteen now, and it’s nobody else’s business if we like each other, it’s nobody else’s business what we do.

I’m not usually happy with vague answers and letting other people decide what I will and won’t be doing, but it’s different with Brian. He says we’ll work something out, Michael. He says we’ll work something out, and for once in my life I really want to believe him.

It felt so nice in his arms, so warm and safe. I wish he was still holding me. I’ve always felt alone, but never so much as I have these past few days. I’ve always felt like I should be on the road, but I’ve never tried to run as fast as I have these past few nights. It’s nice to let all that go, even if it’s just for a little while.

A few days.

Maybe a few days will just have to do. Maybe a few days will be long enough to convince him he should come away with me.

We drive straight through Lydney and out the other side. The big houses are out this way and I know most of them by sight. I used to wander past sometimes when I had a couple of smokes after my sessions with Brian.

People might think I’m a filthy gypsy who belongs in a wagon, and I do – but these houses are nice enough to make even a traveller like me dream a little dream.

Brian indicates left and pulls onto the driveway of a big white farmhouse. It’s not where I’d have imagined a posh-suit man to live and I’m secretly impressed. I’d have put him down as a minimalist apartment kinda guy. One of those dicks who thinks a cream rug and a piece-of-shit modern art makes you somebody.

“This is Cain’s place,” Brian tells me, like I need it pointing out.

I wait in the car until he comes around to my side, and my heart does a stupid sappy jump when he opens the door and helps me up again. I hold on a little longer than I need to, just to feel the warmth of him, hoping I don’t stink too bad from a couple of days without a shower. I probably do.

He takes my backpack from the back and helps me to the front door. It’s a big solid oak thing with an iron knocker. Very grand. Maybe this place really does suit posh guys after all.

Brian jangles his keys under the porch light until he finds the right one. It turns in the lock with a click and the door swings open into the darkness.

Brian seems to know his way around. His hand lands right on the switch for the hall light, and he supports me right on through to the kitchen where he hitches me up onto the worktop. For once in my life I keep my muddy boots away from dirtying everything. Despite what Nick and Amie would believe, I don’t really want another cream carpet incident. Especially not now I’ve nowhere else to go. I dangle my feet in the air until Brian drops down to slip my boots off for me.

I grit my teeth as he examines my sprained ankle.

“It’s swollen,” he says, once again pointing out the obvious.

“It’ll be fine in the morning,” I bluster, hoping to fuck I’m right about that. He takes a tea towel from a drawer and some ice from the dispenser in the fridge, then makes me a weird icepack which he holds on to the swelling.

“Nurse Brian,” I laugh, but he doesn’t laugh with me.

He looks so serious when he meets my eyes, and there are those flutters in my belly again.

“Does that feel okay?” he asks and I nod. I know he means the icepack, but it’s not that that’s making me tingle warm tingles, it’s the feeling of his fingers against my skin.

The strength in his grip as he supports my sore foot makes me feel so cared for.

Relief rushes over me. Relief that I don’t have to walk any further. Relief that I’m not going to be cold tonight. Relief that there was someone out there who really did give a shit about me.

“What happened to your lip?” he asks. His hair is messier than usual and a stray wisp hangs over his forehead. I’d love to reach out and brush it away.

“Fell over,” I lied.

“A likely story,” he says and follows it up with a sigh. He moves the icepack along my calf and I grimace. “Can you wiggle your toes?”

I wiggle my toes.

“Not broken,” he says. “That’s good.”

“Maybe you really are a nurse,” I comment and this time he smiles.

“I’ve done plenty of first-aid courses in my time, Moona. Part of the job.”

I wish I’d sprained my lungs instead, maybe then he’d have given me mouth to mouth. It crosses my mind to hold my breath and pretend I’ve fainted, just to feel his lips on mine. I hope I’m not blushing like a fucking sap at the thought.

“We need to talk,” he says. “We need to work out a plan of action from here on in.” He pauses and all I can think about is how green his eyes look under the kitchen lights. “But not tonight. Tonight you should eat and drink and rest up.” He places my hand on the icepack. “Keep that there.”

I can’t hold back the rush of panic as he gets to his feet and leaves me on the counter. “Where are you going?”

“Only to put some food on, don’t worry,” he tells me, and I hate the way he’s seen through my armour. He opens the posh guy’s big kitchen cupboards and talks me through the contents.