로그인SPENCER POV
I wish she hadn’t gone. I wish she’d have decided for herself that her friend Maggie Connor treats her like a piece of shit on her shoe, keeping her close for the sake of vanity and little minion. It pains me that a selfish little cow like that has meant so much to my sweet Violet, but I’d dropped her at her friend’s house and kissed her hair and told her to have a good time. Some lessons in life need to be learned for yourself. I keep an eye on the clock, even though it’s barely scraped past eight. I keep my phone close by, just in case she calls and wants me to come for her, or if… anything else happens to her. I concentrate on a month end report just to keep the paranoia at bay. The drunks, and the people popping pills, the people out for an easy fuck with little regard for who they take it from. All things that my beautiful girl is too optimistic about human nature to avoid. She always sees the best in everyone, and I love her for it. And it worries the shit out of me, knowing she’s out there with the dregs of Saturday night partying with only a non-friend to watch her back, but still, I love her for her dedication in persisting with it. Midnight. I’ll see her at midnight. She has an alarm on her phone to let her know our rendezvous point is looming, and a fully charged battery – I checked before she left. She has enough money to get a taxi within a hundred mile radius, regardless of how many drinks Maggie Connor leeches out of her. And she has me. I’ll be waiting. • • • VIOLET POV This club stinks. It’s too loud to talk properly, not that I’d be talking anyway. Maggie Connor is already far more interested in some drunk guys than she is about me. Standard. So much for besties. So much for Ken, master of the female orgasm, too, seemingly. I think about calling it off, making my excuses and heading back home to Spencer where I belong. Where I belong. It’s so nice to belong somewhere. It’s interesting that being out somewhere I hate makes it all the more obvious how amazing my life is right now. I mean, I knew it. I know it every minute of every day, but this, this… fake pretence of having a good time… I’m really, really done with this. This is the last crappy birthday party of Maggie Connor I agree to. Next year she’ll have to find some of her fake friends to hang out with. I’m done. She introduces me to some wasted guy called Bryan, and I smile politely. Bryan tells me he’s got pills, and I tell him thanks but definitely no thanks, and keep a close eye on my drink in case one of those pills magically ends up in there. I keep an eye on Maggie Connor’s drink, too, as hard as that is with her swinging it around all over the place as she flirts and grinds and makes a real slut of herself. It’s barely nine and I’m already bored to tears. I’m thinking of my warm bed and Spencer’s kisses when Maggie Connor snatches my phone from my handbag. “Yeah… for real! Creepy old dude bought her this!” She hands it to Bryan and his idiot friend, and I laugh into action that feels so alien to me. I try to grab it back, but Maggie Connor takes it from Bryan’s hand before I can get to it. She holds it out of reach as she flicks through my phone gallery, and my privacy feels so personally invaded that I’m not sure whether I should slap her or cry or both. “She’s got a fucking curfew, too. Like Cinderella. Talk about creepy.” They laugh. She laughs. And for the first time in my life I really hate Maggie Connor so much. I didn’t even hate her when she left all my things with strangers and bailed on me, but right now, laughing about my life with Spencer and treating me like a silly little joke, I hate her so much I want to storm out and never see her again. If only I felt okay about leaving her with these creeps. “Give it back!” I shout over the music. “It’s not funny, Maggie Connor!” She keeps flicking, as though she’s got every right to snoop, and it irritates me so much I feel sick to my stomach. I have nothing private on there, not really, but that isn’t the point. It really isn’t the point. She rolls her eyes when she sees I’m not playing, scrolling just a bit more to make a point before she hands it back. My heart races as I check it for damage. There isn’t any and I breathe in relief. I check the time before I put it back to safety in my handbag, and it’s only just gone eight o’clock. Shit. The night is going to take forever.MOONA POVI don’t know how long they will hold me there, but I never want to move.I’m scared I’ll fall apart without their arms around me. I’m scared I’ll shatter into pieces and never pick them all up again.I remember all the times the guy who called himself Peter touched me. I remember all the times he told me that that was what love felt like.But love feels nothing like that, and I know it now.I want to forget every second I ever spent with him. I want to feel how much I’m loved for real this time.I want to feel kind hands on my body. I want to feel kisses that give, not kisses that take.I want them. The only two men who’ve ever counted.I need to know I’m still theirs and they’re mine, and words aren’t enough.Words will never be enough now I know how easily a random guy like Mathew Connor could speak whatever he wanted in my ear.I’m still in their arms as I press my lips to Cain’s neck. Brian is still pressed to my back as I reach for him.Cain doesn’t respond at first as
BRIAN POVAnd suddenly all the pieces fit into place. She’s in a daze as she heads through to the living room and sits herself down on the slashed sofa. She pulls her knees up to her chest and hugs them tight as Cain sits alongside her and I drop to my knees on the floor. “It’s alright, Moona,” I say, “you can tell us.” And she does. She tells us everything. She tells us how happy she was to find her brother. She tells us the story of what happened all those years ago in Peter’s family home. She tells us how they thought it was her assaulting their younger daughter and leaving bruises on her arms, but it wasn’t. It was Peter, and that makes sense too. The kid was troubled when I met him, narcissistic tothe point it gave me shivers. Thoroughly dissociated from those around him. And now he’s studying law, blending into the student populous no doubt oblivious to the pain he caused the broken girl sitting before me. He didn’t mention Moona once in all our s
MOONA POVI want to tell him but I can’t. Even now I can’t let them throw Peter in prison. He’s my brother. He was there for me when no one else was. My heart is breaking worse than Cain’s, even though I can’t show him. My heart is breaking because I know I can’t come back from this, because no matter how much Cain’s eyes say he wants to forgive me, I know he won’t. I know he can’t. I know he’ll never trust me again. I wish I could say I’m sorry, but I can’t. Even though I can’t bring myself to land my brother in the shit, I can’t bring myself to confess all this either. Cain’s glaring right at me as I hear Brian’s car pull onto the drive. I want the ground to swallow me up and never spit me out again, but I’m standing right here with nowhere to run and no one to turn to.Brian doesn’t even notice the destruction as he steps through the door. He sees me before Cain but he’s already got questions of his own. “Mathew Connor was asking directions to your house in town ea
CAIN POVMy crazy idea for Brian’s career wouldn’t let go once it started. That’s why I called the bank today and set up an appointment. That’s why I marched in there with a hastily drawn up plan and opened a new account all ready to start. It’s crazy but perfect. Perfect for both of them. I can’t fucking wait to fill them in on the news.I’ve got more money than I’ve ever known what to do with, and more than enough time around work to help with the practicalities of setting up something like this. I make sure I’ve got my folder of ideas on the passenger seat as I buckle up and head for home. I know I’ll be earlier than Brian, I’ll just have to keep my mouth shut until he gets there. There’s a crunch of glass under my foot as I step inside. My brow creases as I stare down at it, and it takes me a second to realise it’s the mirror from the wall, smashed to pieces. What the fuck? Memories of walking in on Moona for the very first time come flooding back to me,
MOONA POVThe attached photo makes my heart race. A picture of the centre of Lydney. He’s here. Oh my God, he’s really here. But he doesn’t know Cain. He doesn’t know where I live now. I try to force the nerves away but they won’t budge an inch. All the filthy things I did for him come back to the pool in my belly. They make me feel sick. I used to think it was okay before I knew what real love felt like, but now I know it isn’t. It never was. What he did to me was cruel and disgusting. The way he made me use my body for him was a world away from how Cain and Brian make me feel. I don’t care that he’s my brother anymore, or that he’s holding family news over my head. I don’t care that I may never get to see them again if I don’t do what he wants. If they wanted me, they’d have found me long ago. If they still believe his lies after all these years then I’m better off without them. All the years of making excuses for him in the name of lo
I can’t believe I’m doing this, I can’t believe my dick is still hard, but it is. It’s only when I hear Cain grunt that I realise he’s not nearly so hesitant as I am. But Cain never is. Cain doesn’t have limits like I have. Cain goes all in for the pursuit of pleasure, and right now his pleasure is in Moona’s hand as she rubs his dick against mine. “Fuck,” he says. “Peen on fucking peen. This has never been on my fucking agenda.” But he doesn’t stop and neither do I. And it occurs to me, right at the back of my mind, that maybe he wants this. Maybe he’s not nearly so hung up on what all this means as I am. The thought that he might even enjoy these blurry boundaries takes me aback, but makes my dick throb. It makes me shunt closer, giving Moona all the leeway she needs to press us length to length and move us as one. Oh fuck, it feels good. It feels so filthily good. “You like it,” she whispers, “I can feel it.” I don’t argue and neit







