CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

GWEN POV

His thumb gently brushed across my cheek, and a warm feeling went through me. "Are you crying?" he asked.

I did not know I was. I felt a little ashamed and quickly wiped my cheeks. I closed the photo book and put it on the coffee table. "I am sorry," I said quietly.

He shook his head. He turned his body so he was fully facing me on the sofa. "No, tell me, what is wrong?"

I took a slow sip of my hot chocolate. I wanted to hide how I felt, and I wanted to hide from the intense, serious way he was looking at me.

"It's just happy and sad at the same time," I finally said. I started to get up, but his hand quickly wrapped around my wrist. He gently kept me on the sofa.

"Why is it both? Did I say or do something bad?" he asked.

The truth was, it was partly because of him, but not in the way he thought. This feeling, this warm, family feeling—it was the kind of Christmas I had until my mother died.

"It's just making me remember when I was a little girl at Christmas," I explained. "It was always very special. We made our own ornaments and drank hot chocolate. Though mine didn't have alcohol in it," I added with a small, warm smile.

His serious look did not change. "So, I have brought back bad memories for you?"

I shook my head. I pressed my hand to his cheek. It felt warm. Only after I did it did I realize I probably should not be touching him. It felt wrong, like something I should not do. I started to pull my hand away, but he took it in his.

"No, not bad memories," I said. "They are sweet memories. Very happy ones. But it is sad that they are only memories now." I took a deep breath. "I told you my father was not okay after my mother died. So, Christmas and many other happy times just stopped. For a short time, after he married again, we had Christmas. But it was not like this. It was just about buying things and gifts." I looked down, feeling a little embarrassed for talking so much about myself. I quickly drank some more hot chocolate to hide my feelings.

"I am sorry that happened to you, Gwen," he said simply.

I tried to smile a bright, happy smile as I looked at him. "It is not your fault, Nolan. And in real life, there are much worse things than not having a very fancy Christmas."

"But it is not about being fancy, is it? It is about family," he said.

I nodded. Then, worried he might think badly of my father, I quickly defended him. "My father really loves me. He is very proud that I will be the first person in our family to finish college. But inside, he is a little bit broken."

Nolan tilted his head to the side. "And you feel you have to take care of him and fix him?"

"I think maybe there was a time I thought I could fix him. I know now that I cannot. But I do try to keep the pieces that are still there together."

"No wonder April was so strong about you needing complete rest. A break, she called it," Nolan said.

I nodded again.

He reached out and brushed back a loose piece of hair that had fallen from my messy bun.

"I cannot give you a family, Gwen, but I can give you a break." His eyes looked down at my lips, and then back up to my eyes. The air felt thick and still. "Do you truly wish you could forget everything that happened last night?"

I swallowed hard. The feeling in the air changed, just like it did last night when he asked me to come to the hotel. I knew I should stop this conversation. He is April's father. I should not even answer this question. This whole talk about us is wrong, and I should leave right now.

"No," the one word I did not want to say, slipped out.

"So, you liked it?" His thumb moved slowly across my lower lip.

I closed my eyes as a sudden warmth shot through my body. "Yes." This should not be happening. It cannot happen. I opened my eyes to tell him this, but his serious green stare made all my words disappear. Instead, I asked him, "Did youlike it?"

He smiled, a slow, deep smile. "Very much. So much, that I want to do it again. What do you think about that, Gwen?"

I wanted to say 'Yes' right away, but I stopped myself. "What about April?"

His finger pressed gently over my lips, stopping me from talking. "How about a new rule for tonight? Instead of acting like last night did not happen, and instead of thinking about how we are both connected to April, we forget that connection for a few hours. We treat each other like we did last night."

Yes, please was my first thought. My second was: Be careful. I would be doing something wrong to April. She would definitely hate me if she found out.

As if he knew what I was thinking, he spoke again. "Just one more night. Once we leave this place, we will go back to our roles with April."

My eyes looked at his lips. I really wanted to taste them again, to feel them on my body. "A time away from real life," I whispered. "We can live like April does. Just for the moment, without any worries."

He tilted his head slightly. "Yes, I guess that is one way to see it. Only here, only now. Like we are inside a small bubble."

His words made me feel free. Like I could let go of everything difficult in my life, and instead, just enjoy pretending. Enjoy the fantasy.

"Can I do what I want to you?" I asked, feeling bolder.

A wild heat flashed in his eyes. "What do you want to do to me?"

Nervousness ran down my back. He was a man who knew what he was doing. All I knew was what I learned last night. But I wanted to learn more. To learn everything. To learn it with him.

"Suck you," I said softly, feeling like a complete slut. 

He let out a low, deep sound. "You can suck me as much as you want. Anything else?"

I could not think of anything else. I knew there were many different ways to have sex, but I only wanted to touch him. I wanted to watch him get his pleasure from what I did.

"Just that," I told him.

He kept his eyes locked on mine as he stood up. He pulled his shirt over his head, then kicked off his shoes. I watched with great excitement as he unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down his strong legs. His cock was already pressing hard against his underwear.

I licked my lips, and he groaned again. "You look very hungry," he said.

I looked up at him, feeling a little unsure of myself. I had never done this before. What if I was bad at it?

He pushed his underwear down, and his Cock sprang out—long, hard, and thick. I started to reach for him, but he sat down on the couch next to me.

"Get on your knees in front of me," he commanded.

I did what he asked, kneeling between his legs. For a moment, I just stayed there, unsure what to do first. Should I just grab his Cock? Should I do some foreplay first? And what should I do if I did?

"Take your shirt off, Gwen. When I finish, I want my cum all over your beautiful tits."

"Yes, Nolan!" I said quickly, but he grabbed me by the back of my neck. He pulled my face close to his.

"It is Alpha Daddy to you, not Nolan!" he said, and then crushed his lips against mine in a fierce passionate kiss.