Payback and Love

“Welcome, mom.” I greeted her as I stepped out and her gaze met mine as there was silence in the living room. I couldn’t tell if it was tears but it seems that was what I saw in her eyes as they locked in mine.

She couldn’t say anything, she didn’t move close to me, she didn’t say a word and knew she was not going to say something else I broke the silence again and that was what I did.

I stepped close to her and she still held my gaze. “Mom, I can’t hate you,” I told her and I watched her swallow hard like she was suppressing her tears. “I don’t want to hate you mom, I don’t want to have hate in my heart any longer.”

I exhaled softly, I was also trying hard to suppress my tears. “I don’t want my heart to be consumed with hate that is why I am letting all the anger and all the hatred go away, I want to forgive dad mom, for all the hurt he had done, I want to love you mom, so give me permission to do that, give me permission to find that peace that comes from loving you as my mother.” M