I heard a knock on the hotel suite door and I sighed, choosing to ignore it. Time couldn't have slowed down, even for me. It was just an ordinary night outside of this five star hotel that had been rented out for this evening, exclusively for the Aebischer's and my family and friends. Outside of these luxurious walls, were people who went about their night as normally as they do.  There was probably some child being tucked into bed at this hour, or a group of teenage girls sitting around on the floor during a sleepover and talking about boys. Or maybe a group of boys hollering as they dare each other to do something stupid and life threatening, or maybe a family that sat around their dining table and are laughing at every silly thing. I don't know. I just feel like there's more joy out there than I can ever experience. A joy I'm jealous of.  I felt sick to my stomach, I wasn’t ready for this. This was all just way too soon an

 "I've never seen you looking so handsome, my baby," my mother said as she looked at me with adoring eyes, her hands on my tie, trying to do it perfectly. Her fingers began to clean off the invisible lint on the expensive suit, "how are you feeling?" She asked me and I looked down at her and moved a hair that was resting on her eyelash.  "Unprepared," I said honestly, "I can't believe I'm getting married today," I admitted and she hummed in response.  "It's ok to be nervous and unsure, marriage is a big step."  "You didn't really give me a choice."  "You always had a choice, honey. You just chose your own path," she smiled at me as she finally stepped back and I looked down at my brand new shoes, fascinated by the shining shoe.  "There's something that I need to do," I said to her, "I need to talk to ouma and pa. I can't do this without consu