June 8th, 2011 Morning   The sky whips around us. The trees have sprouted leaves again. The countryside is a bright green. The sky a brilliant blue. The air has warmed, though not by much. It’s strange, the sensation of beaming sun on my bare legs. Fills me with sleep but invigorates me all the same. I hug my cardigan tighter. “Where are we going?” I’m almost afraid to ask. The not knowing is most exciting. “I’m sure you’d love to know.” He reaches over, squeezing my hand. His skin has turned already. A deep, warm bronze. Hair mousy and bright. Tousled. Untouched. He wears jeans. A thin button-down. Wild chest hair peaks through the top. Sometimes I wish I was his biological daughter. If only to be that beautiful. “I would.” He grins. A cheeky, bright smile. “That’s too bad, Isn’t it?” And drops my hand again. “The beach?” “No.” “The harbour?” “Isn’t that the s

“What?” Tami is at my side, yelling between us. “His wife moved in again after like ten years, apparently they separated but never divorced?“ I pat at my jean pockets, looking for my card. I need another shot. “You reckon he killed someone?” Tami somehow sounds more British than usual. “He had a kid?” James seems to be concerned for different reasons. “Well, he didn’t deny it when I asked — he said that they all know how the kid died and who was responsible. Bobs your fucking uncle. Another tequila please!” I think the bartender is eavesdropping, she’s already looking when I sway in her direction. I need both arms to hold myself up. “On the house.” Probably shouting me a drink for the entertainment. “Damon would never.” Tami is frowning. I’ve always thought she wouldn’t mind boinking him. She did seem to fancy Damon, actually. And why wouldn’t he? I’m a bit more interested in my shot. It’s gone quite

December 16th, 2012 Evening Damon She hardly stirs when I drop her a little more suddenly than I intended to. Of course, her bed is unmade. It always is. And she’s got a pile—mind you, a somewhat tidy one—of clothes in the corner of the room. “You need to change.” As I speak, I wonder if she’ll pretend to sleep. But she opens her eyes a couple of centimetres. “I need to sleep.” Her eyes are closed again. “Unless you want to be changing your sheets bright and early tomorrow, you need to change.” “Change me, then.” Her eyes are still closed, and a good thing at that. I’m afraid I’ve gone a bit pink. At least, I feel I have.   “I’m not sure that’s appropriate,” “Why not? You’re my dad.” She rolls over. And part of me wants to accept the offer just to see her in her underwear. And another, somehow worse, part of me hopes that she doesn’t have any on. “Gues

Midday   “How you feeling, thundercunt?” Tami has been swinging backwards and forwards on that brand-new swivel chair for a good ten minutes now. Rubbing it in my face that it still works. There was an incident at the Christmas party last year that involved a receptionist chair race. The one I had been stuck with suffered the consequence. You see, it’s risky business moving too freely on a swivel chair that only had two of the three wheels still attached. And I’ve become better acquainted with the ground because of it. “It’s been like a week, I’m fine.” It’s been a slow day. Not many patients. Even less paperwork. I’ve been tasked with refreshing the email folder and forwarding what needed to go where. Printing off the odd set of forms. Directing phone calls. Only, a job seemed to arise once ever half-hour. And it was a war between Tami and I who could lay claim first. She scoots closer, elbows crossed over the front desk. “I’m

December 22nd, 2012 Morning   My phone buzzing somehow made it into my dream. Speaking of which, I haven’t had one about Damon in quite some time. Probably because every waking moment is filled with him, instead. I was sat at the hospital reception. Only this time, we found a record about Gregory’s death. It was a perfectly mundane genetic disorder I couldn’t pronounce. His death was blameless. I could go back to guiltlessly fantasising about Damon. Then the whole computer started vibrating. And here I am. It's Bertrand. Like I somehow thought the random impulse for him to call me into existence yesterday morning. Part of me wants to let it go to voicemail. Never speak to him again. But part of me loves the drama of it all. “Sasha, finally!” I can hardly hear him through the phone. All I want to do is scour my emails for any noteworthy news heading. We used to show each other up once every fe