All Chapters of Confessions Of An Exorcist: Chapter 11 - Chapter 20
43 Chapters
CHAPTER NINE -> VINEYARD, UTAH
It is starting to feel like I am married to Reverend Fathers; I mean isn't there a beautiful nun like Alex that will explain all this nonsense to me? If God could push beautiful nuns possibly prettier than Alex my way then I would take up this retarded job with pride. I will even have Exorcist tattooed on my ass—yeah, I said it; on my ass, because I have a beautiful booty.  Let's go hear what Reverend Father Frank has to say  “THE WORLD IS A DANGEROUS PLACE. NOT BECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE EVIL; BUT BECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE WHO DON’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT”   ALBERT EINSTEIN  "Excuse me did you say your name is Mason Woods?"  "Uh... Who's asking?"  "My name is David, I'm a Deacon from St Paul's Parish. Father Frank has been waiting for you."  "
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CHAPTER TEN -> MY DECISION
I guess what they say about your most embarrassing moments sticking on you like glue is true. I can't seem to stop myself from thinking about the day a seven year old tossed me around. This is bad you know. I hope it doesn't become a routine.  Ever been in a situation where you know you gotta do something but you don't do it because you are afraid you are not gonna do it right or be good at it and even though everyone is telling you that you will do great, for some reason you cant trust yourself or believe in yourself? This is me right now.  Anyway I'm about to make a big decision, so let's get on with this. POSSESSION AND EXORCISM IS SOMETHING THAT'S IN EVERY RELIGION AND CULTURE. IT'S A REAL PRIMAL FEAR: IS THE BODY A VESSEL FOR OUR SPIRITS? WHAT HAPPENS IF SOMETHING ELSE TAKES OVER IT? WHERE DOES THE SPIRIT GO? — ELI ROTH After spending two days in the care of Father F
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CHAPTER ELEVEN -> AWAKENING
CHAPTER ELEVEN -> AWAKENING  So the new church doesn’t have a single nun in it but not to worry I have got my eyes on a bigger, curvy, perky fish.  I gotta admit this exorcist nonsense is not as bad as I had imagined. I thought I wouldn’t be able to clap cheeks anymore but I think someone is digging my vibe. Well one thing is certain, if it works out, nothing and no one is going to mar it. Lets start today’s confession, shall we?  THE TREACHERY OF DEMONS IS NOTHING CONPARED TO  THE BETRAYAL OF AN ANGEL .  BRENNA YOVANOFF    “What are you both doing here?”  Jayden asks. “You have been out a lot lately. Is there anything you are not telling us?“ Mazekeen asks. “Well I found o
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CHAPTER TWELVE -> GYLLOU
Hello there. This world is not fair, right? Someone brought me back to life without giving me a grand welcome back but someone who wakes up from coma gets to have lightning strikes and thunder roars. How fair is that? I hate this. I hate this so much.   “THE ARCH-ANGEL MICHAEL SAID TO HER, ‘WHERE HAVE YOU COME FROM AND WHERE ARE YOU GOING?’ THE ABOMINABLE ONE ANSWERED AND SAID, ‘I AM GOING OFF TO A HOUSE AND, ENTERING IT LIKE A SNAKE, LIKE A DRAGON, OR LIKE SOME REPTILE, I WILL DESTROY THE ANIMALS.  I AM GOING TO STRIKE DOWN WOMEN; I WILL MAKE THEIR HEARTS ACHE, I WILL DRY UP THEIR MILK..  I WILL STRANGLE THEIR CHILDREN,  OR I WILL LET THEM LIVE FOR A WHILE AND THEN KILL THEM”   I am asleep when someone knocks on my door. I ignore the knock and try to keep on sleeping but the more I pretend not to hear it, the louder it becomes. I can’t pretend anymore because I am awake
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CHAPTER THIRTEEN -> BIRTH OF GYLLOU
Hi! I’m Mason Woods and these are my confessions, but you already know that by now. Vineyard is about to be pushed into extinction, I hope I can do something about it.       TO SIT IN JUDGEMENT OF THOSE THINGS  WHICH YOU PERCEIVE TO BE WRONG OR IMPERFECT, TO BE ONE MORE PERSON WHO IS PART OF JUDGEMENT, EVIL OR IMPERFECTION   WAYNE DYER    FEW DAYS BEFORE THE BIRTH OF GYLLOU    I come home to meet Haley eating her lunch, I give her a kiss on the forehead.    “Welcome back, babe. Are you hungry?” she asks with a smiling face.   “No, I’m good. I got something for you.” I sit beside her.   “Whoa! What’s that?" She asks, excited.   “A bracelet. Father Frank said if you have it on, no demon or ghost can hurt you. The small crucifix
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CHAPTER FOURTEEN -> CURSE WOMB MUST DIE
  Death. The very concept of it is unsettling. The very finality of it. No one knows when it’s gonna happen, that’s why you need to live the best out of your life before it happens. A friend or lover today might turn up dead tomorrow yet we tend to lose sight of this and act like it’s all about us when a disagreement arises. Then we start waiting on who’s gonna apologize first which might end up not happening cause life is a truck load of horse poop . So what’s the point of the memories if you never got the chance to make up? It turns into a pile of regret. Diving into a pool full of horse shit is way better than having memories of someone you never made up with. Life is a fucking whore, but it never gives you a good fuck. Anyways, let’s begin today’s confession.   LIFE IS HARD THEN YOU DIE THEN THEY THROW DIRT IN YOUR FACE  THEN THE WORMS EAT YOU BE GRATEFUL IT HAPPENS IN THAT ORDER  
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CHAPTER FIFTEEN-> CURSE WOMB MUST DIE PART II
You try to help people out they reject your kind gesture, you try to do your work, they call you incompetent. People just can’t be pleased, which is why you don’t need to please them. Do your work and when they need you, they will come knocking. Just like this old cunt James. I wonder if I will help him  Shall we get this confession on the road?       PEOPLE DESPERATELY RESISTED THE IDEA OF THEIR OWN DEATH BY LOOKING AWAY FOR AS LONG AS THEY COULD ABD AVOIDING THE SUBJECT THOMAS OLDE HEUVELT     A mysterious figure appears from the dark, crawls up the window James left open for air. It silently crawls into their bedroom through the window, the only sound it made was a mild rattling noise which isn’t enough to wake the sleeping couple.  James turns to his left enjoying his sleep and the cool breeze coming from the window ser
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CHAPTER SIXTEEN-> BED RIDDEN
Hospitals.... Ugh... I bet no one loves it here. This is by far the worst place anyone could be in— whether you are visiting or staying because of one reason or another, this place will definitely give you the creeps. But all in all, hospital puddings are the best. That shit unlocks all your taste buds and that’s the only thing that makes staying in this hell hole worth it.So instead of celebrating my victory over Gyllou I am stuck here feeling nauseous maybe that’s from too much pudding. Let’s kick of today’s confession, shall we?   IN A HOSPITAL THEY THROW YOU OUT INTO THE STREET BEFORE YOU ARE HALF CURED, BUT IN A NURSING HOME THEY DON’T LET YOU OUT TILL YOU ARE DEADGEORGE BERNARD SHAW   28-OCTOBER-2019Halloween in the Woods family has been a day we let our monsters run wild. Dad t
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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN -> HALLOWEEN
I don’t know for y’all but Halloween is far more fun than Christmas. You get to show off your creative dark side, scare the living daylights out of kids, give them expired candy and loot candy from weak kids— the joys of Halloween.  You can do almost anything you want and get away with it so long as you have your mask on. Before I start today’s confession I gotta warn you kids and adults to refrain from any illegal acts.Welcome to Hell, lovelies    ONE NEED NOT BE A CHAMBER TO BE HAUNTED. ONE NEED NOT BE A HOUSE. THE BRAIN HAS CORRIDORS SURPASSING MATERIALEMILY DICKINSON  Haley came early to pack my things. The mere thought that I will be leaving this death trap today feels me with absolute joy. I would dance but every bone in my body will shatter. Ah! I so much need a drink right about now. 
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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN -> NIGHT OF TERROR
This so called demons don’t want me to take a breather. I can’t even enjoy my best festive season. From fighting Gyllou to trying to save the town from impending doom —again. This is tiresome. Let’s get on with this, shall we?     THIS IS THE WAY THE WORLD ENDS; NOT WITH A BANG OR WHIMPER, BUT WITH ZOMBIES BREAKING DOWN THE BACK DOOR ➔ AMANDA HOCKING, HOLLOWLAND       When everyone is sleeping with their loved ones, one crazy ass person stands alone in the middle of the night at the cemetery about to raise the dead. Jessica stands at the centre of the cemetery holding a dirty scroll and bottle she got from Abaddon    She uncork the bottle and let’s out a drop of blood that is in the bottle and starts chanting the words written on the scroll   “O you souls, greatly majesti
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