The blood was fresh.     And it was on the tip of her lips on her calmed face, but as I kept my sight on her, there was something I could not fathom. She seemed someone that she was not, like the convent. At first glance, it looked like a place where you could seek warmth during the cold of the night, but as you entered it, there was no warmth, only emptiness.     I was afraid, but I was curious to see her, so I stayed hidden and I kept watching as she gone on. I realized that she was not her, but she wore the face of Mother Renata. Then the door closed, and silence befell the room again.     You have to inform her about the knights, I reminded myself. The table helped me stood, and I waited for her to come back but the door did not open. I walked to it instead, so I could open it on my own. However, the room on the back of the wall was calling me. I could not resist it. &nb

She was her title to me. A mother.     The sisters raised us all, but I called her mother when I was two. And I only stopped calling her that when I found out the definition of convent in the encyclopedia, why there were lots of sisters and no fathers in our home, and why we were praying words we could not understand instead of playing.     But still, even it was only her title and even I halted calling her mama, she never stopped being one to me. She would sing me a song on my bed because the night was too long for a child. She would reprimand me with a stick on her hand but she never actually hit me. She would explain the whys I could not get from books. And she would carry me from the ground because I got tired from playing to much.     She became the figure I longed for as a child and she painted my childhood with affection. And because of that, I was able to know what was love like. I was able t

I was unmoving.     Three months had passed but the convent remained to be an abyss of nothingness. Not because Hana and Gabriel were nowhere here, but because I realized that, time is still in the convent. Everything outside was constantly growing and changing, while inside, nothing was happening. We were only praying, singing, and doing chores repeatedly as time passed by. Then we would wither, and that was the end of it.     I already knew this before, but I only fully realized now because of the changes that the knights of Saint Christopher endowed. I am not saying I enjoyed the challenges, the problems, and the pain, but I grew as a person because of it.     I was unmoving. And I wanted the world to see me move.     I raised my hand, and interrupted Siter Rene or Mother Rene as she continued with the homily which she already discussed thrice now. I n