All Chapters of Blinded By The Past: Chapter 41 - Chapter 50
75 Chapters
Chapter 41
Cassandra "I almost relapsed yesterday," I admit. Although honest, the words practically burn my throat as I say them."Okay, let us focus on that. The keyword is almost. What made you stop yourself from making yourself vomit?" Loraine asks me.I have been seeing my therapist Loraine for a little over a year now. Ever since the night of my father and sister's intervention for me, I have ceased to make myself throw up again. Every Friday afternoon is Loraine's time under the deal I made with my dad.I haven't missed one appointment."To be honest, I am not sure. My mind was kind of everywhere. I just remember sitting there watching a movie after dinner and I felt bloated. The movie I was watching was about a girl that goes to prom and the guy she had a crush on finally sees how beautiful she is."I sigh as I fidget in my primitive outfit. The leather chair squeaks just slig
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Chapter 42
CrayvinGorgeous, breathtakingly beautiful, elegant.These are some of the words that swarm through me the second she walks out of the room in that black dress. Yet, all that I could manage to say to her was that she looked great too; and even with that, I struggled. The air has been knocked out of me, not allowing me to speak. That has never happened to me before.Cassandra is a damn knockout.I wonder if it is just my man brain fucking with me. I am not used to being just friends with a woman. If they were my friends, then that title usually included with benefits. I also haven't been with anyone since Patricia, so maybe I'm just horny.When we arrived at the Japanese restaurant for dinner, we are escorted by the hostess to a separate room behind red curtains. Tarra had made reservations for Cassandra's birthday so we have a secluded teppan grill.Tarra and Miles sit down first, and before Cassandra could take a seat I pull ou
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Chapter 43
Cassandra "What's up, Sissy? Why have you been so quiet today?" Tarra asks as she takes a seat next to me in the open bow part of the boat.Miles and Crayvin continue to talk as Miles drives the boat on the open lake. The weather is hot as usual, but my hair feels amazing as it flies back in the wind, whipping my thoughts around and around. I didn't realize I was being so quiet as my sister claims. I managed to jump out of the boat today and into the lake a few times. This meant I removed my bikini cover, something that I did not do yesterday.But, now that she points it out, I guess I really haven't said much today.How could I, though?All that has been on my mind since the moment Crayvin admitted it, is that at one point in my life, Crayvin Smith thought I was cute.Me... Cassandra Juliet Porsse. And at the time he liked me, I was fat.What he told me is a large pill to swallow, and I can't quite wrap my head aro
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Chapter 44
Cassandra When I woke up this morning, I wasn't in my comfortable bed. I was on a couch, and not in my hotel room. Sitting up, I lean back and groan, pressing my hand to the side of my banging head.Seriously, it is as if someone is up there playing the drums.I look down and notice I am still wearing my clothes from last night. To my relief, my sister walks out of the hotel bedroom, ridding any worries I had that I may have been in a stranger's room."Tarra?" My voice is as dry as the desert."Good morning, sunshine. We are packing up and getting ready to go in about thirty minutes."I rise from the couch slowly, feeling nauseous beyond comprehension. "What happened last night? Why did I sleep in here?""You got drunk and said you didn't want to go up to motorboat dude's room, and Crayvin left early with your key card, so Miles and I just took you back here," she explains.I remember Crayvin leaving, but the d
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Chapter 45
Cassandra We loaded all of our stuff in Miles' truck and began driving. Since no one was all that hungry, we decided to just stop at a local coffee joint, and the guys went in to get the drinks. Keeping the tinted windows up and my shades on, trying anything and everything to keep this sun out of my face, I lie down and take my phone out of my pocket. It was dead all morning, so when I turn the power on, my heart twists in my chest as soon as I read a text from Crayvin.Crayvin: Cassandra we can't. No matter how much I may or may not want to. You are drunk and don't mean what you are saying. I am getting dropped off at the hotel now, please be careful.I shoot straight up and frantically begin scanning all the messages. My heart pounds rapidly against my ribcage as I read all of my drunken words that I said to him. Once I find my solicitation to him, I toss my phone to the floor of the truck and arch my head b
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Chapter 46
CrayvinAs Cassandra stands by the front door waiting for me, Tarra hops out of Miles' truck to approach me. With a pointed look, her eyes serious, she says, "I don't know what is going on with you and my sister, but I do know how you were looking at her this weekend. She had the chance to sleep with a good looking man and get over your douche of a friend, but she didn't. In fact, she looked happier hanging out with you. You brought a smile to her face that I hadn't seen in a very long time, and for that I am grateful. However, I also saw how that smile vanished when she told me you slept with your Uber driver."She looks towards Cassandra and back to me again, sighing.Her tone lowers significantly when she says, "Whether you admit it to me or not, I know you have feelings for her, Crayvin. That is as obvious as the sunburn I received this weekend. But, if you hurt her again, I will castrate you. I am a nurse after all, so I am pretty good with med
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Chapter 47
Crayvin Her eyes gloss over as she studies me, her arms dropping to her sides. "And why is that?"Slowly, I lift my head and lock eyes with her. "Why do you think?"She blinks at me, clearly stunned by my answer.Or disgusted, I can't tell."Crayvin," she says in a soft, quiet tone. She then repeats my words after I left the bar, "We can't."I scoot closer and cup her face between my palms, and our foreheads touch. Her breathing matches mine; hot and rough."I know we can't, but that doesn't change what I want. What I am feeling."She gulps. "And what are you feeling?"On impulse, I move my mouth to hers and kiss her, sending my heated breaths into her mouth, answering her question without actually having to say any words. I have never been too good at expressing my feelings verbally.As our lips touch, everything around me becomes hazy. I didn't realize how much I wanted to kiss her until our lips me
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Chapter 48
CassandraI kissed Crayvin. Crayvin Smith kissed me.Holy. Mother. Fucking. Shit.If this would have happened seven years ago, my little heart would have burst right out of my chest. Heck, even now -seven years later- it affected me more than I care to admit. My brain couldn't think coherently with his lips on mine. His tantalizing assault was too darn distracting. The heat had risen from my toes to my chest, my cheeks too. When Tarra and Miles had come back to pick me up, I took one glance in the mirror and saw how flushed and disheveled I looked.Tarra didn't appear as surprised as I had thought she would be when I had told her exactly what happened. She did insist on hearing every little fragment of detail though, worrying to the degree he did something that was sure to cost him his balls. Secretly, I think she was hoping she was going to be able to do a jock punch on him. Ever since she watched What Happens in Vegas, she has been waiting fo
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Chapter 49
Cassandra Based on the near pastel white color of Crayvin's face, I assume that his blood flow has stopped."I didn't know you would be back so soon," he says to Drew in a voice that sounds feeble and on edge."Well, if you had answered your phone this weekend you would have known," Drew replies, crossing his arms over his chest. He faces me and grins like a Cheshire cat. "It's good to see you, Cassandra."He looks me up and down, taking my appearance in before looking back to Crayvin, and my arms turn into gooseflesh. My heart beats a mile a minute and my mouth parts in shock. "I will catch up with you later. We need to talk," he says. With that, Crayvin nods and Drew walks away.Was I that transparent? Could he have seen right through me, to the truth? That I had been in fact kissing his best friend?And gosh, that kiss.That kiss has my mind whirling with all sorts of thoughts and possibilities. From my periphera
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Chapter 50
Crayvin I look over to Tarra as she slowly nods her head and sighs. Dropping her shoulders she stands up and my eyes drift over to Cassandra walking back towards us and I rise from my seat as well."That hour was only a glimpse of what Cassandra went through for months," Tarra says in a hushed tone. Her words don't sound mean when she says them, but more like... hurt?With a knowing look, her words cut through me like glass. My throat burned with guilt as I tried to swallow back the lump that forms.Cassandra returns, giving me a curious look. "Well, we should get going. Tarra and I are going to get ready for Jax’s tonight. Still going?"My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out to look at it. I have a missed call and a text, both from Drew.Drew: Hey man, got a minute? I wanted to talk with you. I need my friend right now.Me: Yeah, sure, dude. Come to my house in twenty.I slide my phone back into
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