Lahat ng Kabanata ng Illegal Love: Kabanata 31 - Kabanata 40

I woke up the next day. A part of me was hoping I’d never wake up. Because waking up would mean I’d have to face the fact that my Bently was dead. I didn’t want this, not for anyone. I turned to the right and saw Talon asleep on the couch. Carter was laying back with the baby on his chest. “You can bring Mika here, so you can catch some sleep.” Carter stood up and walked over to me. “He needs to eat; I didn’t want to wake you.” He handed him over and I began to breastfeed him. “You’re going to do that with us both right here?” I rolled my eyes at him as Mika latched on. “It’s a boob that’s feeding my son, I don’t care who sees.” He stood there watching me. “Wait, Mika?” I looked at him and just nodded. But the tears started forming again. “He’s gone, isn’t he?” Carter nodded but started biting on his cheek. “He&rsqu

NadiaYou ever start a puzzle and not stop working on it for as long as it takes. Then suddenly once you get to the end, you lose that last piece? That was me putting myself back together again. I moved into my own place with my son Mika. I made sure Carter and Talon both knew I wasn’t ready to date, and that they should start doing things at their own pace. Focus on themselves, go out and date. It was good if they moved on as it took me a long time to get to a good place. Learning how to co-parent and manage going to work. I’ve been seeing a therapist for my postpartum. But although things seem to be better, I will always hold onto so much anger. But at this point in time, I needed to start moving on and allowing myself to open up. Everyone was spread out through my house, as we celebrated Mika’s birthday. I enjoyed this and seeing him so happy. “Is that a smile I see?” Talon joined me, leaning up

I’ve spent most of my time with Talon and I was ready to give him my all. I think the love I have for him grew into something stronger. I know Carter wants something more, but I can’t understand his reasons for breaking someone’s heart. I think honestly, I was trying to figure why he was rooting for us still, like things haven’t changed. He kisses me, and it’s like nothing changed. Things have changed, and I couldn’t let go of that one bit. Talon allowed me to figure things out, because it was never going to be an easy choice. With Talon things are so easy and comfortable. But with Carter, we are always fighting. Fighting over the same stuff, over and over. Fighting like there was still something to fight for. I felt like because we fought so much, and it turned into nothing that we deserve that chance. But I didn’t want to fight anymore. Fighting just makes things harder to end things. “Earth to Nadia, you okay?” I forgot that I had zoned out. Carter

The next few days were quiet. I’d go to work, come home, different guys would be there. I’d take care of my kids and nothing more to it. The thing about it being way too quiet was the fact that it was quieter than it should be. I knew something was going to happen eventually. Carlos has been calling everyday with updates from people. We found out she was in Queens, New York. A place I never thought to look. But she is safe over there, until she isn’t. Camila was a rookie and thinks just by being far away surrounded by people who are considered dangerous it would protect her. She wasn’t safe anywhere. I know I am supposed to be focusing on the good, but my son being avenged was all I can think about that I forgot about my own anger. To the men who hurt me. To my husband who mistreated me. I was supposed to be a mad woman, but I was at peace. That’s what angered me because I should be angry. I should be taking my anger out

CamilaDays had flown by as I tried to understand how on earth, I let this happen. My boyfriend was dead. My sister hated me so much. I lost everything I cared for, and now it was time to end it all. I would never live safe as long as I was alive, but I wanted to keep living. I was going to live if it was the last thing I do. I grabbed my boyfriend’s burner phone with his cousin’s number. I unlocked it and hit the call button. It rang a few times. “Hey Zack, what’s up?” I was hesitant but it needed to be done. “Hey this is Zack’s girlfriend. I need your help.” I replied. “Where is my cousin Camila?” He asked. Tears poured down my eyes, as I had to be the bearer of bad news. “He’s dead. My sister killed him.” It went silent over the phone. I heard him breathing hard. “I am coming over.” The phone went silent. Not even thirty minutes passed