A FEW YEARS BACK NOTTINGHAM     Her life was like a wave. Sometimes calm, sometimes agitated, sometimes dangerous, sometimes dancing, sometimes low, sometimes alone and most times never stayed at the shore. It was her life- rising and falling. She used to feel like an odd man out whenever she sat for dinner with Noah, Evelyn, and Jack. As long as Evelyn tried to make her include in the conversation, asking typical questions about school, studies and friends, as long as Jack ignored her while burying himself in his phone and her dad not even once looked at her as if it’s a sin to even raise his head, Ayla could quietly finish the little that was kept on her plate. They never starved her and she knew that they will never do that. She is free to eat as much as she likes. But how to ask the strangers who are polite enough to make her stay at their place when her mom was sick, for food of her taste?     She missed Adena Kebab her mom

    The second she entered the elevator the only thought that crossed his mind is what would’ve happened if it was six years back. Closed and confined areas were their favorites. He could not remember how many times they made out when they found themselves in the closed places. Now a five feet distance was put between them which was odd if he thinks of their past and justifiable at the same time.   He still has an effect on her. He knows that she is holding her breath, and feeling intimidated. She has every reason to do so. He enjoyed making her feel like that without giving a thought about what he is feeling in the first place. It was nice to have her presence, to breathe her scent and feel her existence in his life again. But every positive vibe he gets simply vanishes before he enjoyed them completely.   &n

PRESENT-DAY LONDON The entire ride to his house was silent. His driver doesn't dare to speak a word since Jayden always preferred that way. But today, the silence is so loud; it is screaming inside his head, his heart is thumping wildly. He looked at the moon lamp in his bedroom. He thought of the day he received it. It was his twenty-second birthday; the same day as today six years before. Only, back then, Ayla had all her eyes on him and now she is looking at Blake's pictures reminiscing their memories. Where is he then? Did she forget him like that as if he's a small tide that once wet her feet? Is that all? Did he mean nothing to her? He touched the lamp resisting the urge to throw it to the wall and watch it break into pieces. After all these years, he kept it with him. It wasn't the first time he wanted to throw it away. But every time he got the idea, something inside him stopped that. He is afraid if he breaks it he would break all the love he buried inside for he

PRESENT-DAY I was ten. I remembered everything clearly when I was in Istanbul. That was probably the last time I felt alive as far as remember. My work used to make me alive too. It was all a mess now. My mom took me to a home for handicaps to donate my old toys one day. "You should be grateful that you have everything." She said. "Learn from them, Ayla. They don't let their disability stop them from achieving what they want. Life was cruel to them. At least God spared you from that pain. Be grateful." Whenever I feel upset I think back to that day and remember everything she said. The picture is livid in my mind. I should be grateful. Even though I lost the memories of my high school, even though I have trust issues, even though my boss made my work life miserable, even though the one man whom I worship is nothing but a pain in my ass, even though I always feel like I am lost, I should be grateful for the life I had. But pain is a pain. Whether it is big or small, bearable

She's afraid that she could make a mistake. How do they do that? What do they exactly do? What if her inexperience in things like that makes their little make-out horrible? Many questions were running in her head when things got heated. But the second he made her legs wrap around his waist, she let go of her fears. She was not ready for sex. She didn't know how to stop him. She didn't know if she could say no to him. But at that moment, she let her body betray her brain. She followed his lead. She let him kiss her hungrily. And she didn't feel shy to kiss him with the same passion. It was awkward even to herself. But she tried. The moment their tongues touched while his calloused hands roamed all over her body, everything disappeared. That was something that happens in novels, not in her life. She never thought it would happen with the most handsome and wonderful person in the world. It was like a dream. His erection pressed against her jeans, exactly at her womanhood