All Chapters of Azmia's Writing (Bam's little notes): Chapter 11 - Chapter 20

Focusing on the pregnancy plus the parasite in my brain made me careless, not paying attention to what was happening to Bram. Changes in management and new bosses at his office suddenly changed his habits. He often came home late at night with the excuse of working overtime, his cellphone was hard to reach, and my messages were rarely replied to. Over time, I felt something strange about Bram's behavior.Wednesday night, while accompanying him on the front porch, my suspicions became unbearable."Bram, lately you often come home late, why?" I asked."Many projects, that's why you always work overtime with the Boss. Next week, I'm going to Bandung to take care of a project with the Boss," he answered.I listened silently to his explanation. Without looking back at him, he was busy fiddling with his cellphone again.During the three days in Bandung, Bram was very hard to contact. He hasn't replied to the messages sent since this afternoon. Was he so busy that he didn't have time to give

AZMIAThe poor pregnancy condition coupled with the tumor diagnosis made me closer to Allah. Learning to get used to performing prayers at the beginning of the time, also starting to diligently recite the Quran and pray at night. Surrendering everything to Allah, being grateful for every second and minute, day by day that I can still live. I don't know how long Allah will still allow me to enjoy as much oxygen as possible to breathe, accompanying Bram and the children.Both hands tidying up the baby clothes with a happy feeling, finally last week Bram invited me to shop for our future baby's needs. Alhamdulillah all the preparations for the baby are complete. After being washed clean, the clothes are neatly arranged in the closet. Clothes for everyday use in the top closet, joining the baby's underwear. Pajamas, warm clothes, and baby leggings on the second shelf. Towels and blankets are stored on the last shelf in the wardrobe.The baby's wardrobe is right next to our bed. Above the w

AZMIA“Brrmmm... brrmmm...”The roar of Bram's car engine was heard entering the yard. Struggling to walk while carrying Micca who was still breastfeeding, before she called I had already opened the door for her. Watching her get out of the car, her tired and wrinkled face approached.Shocked to see the lip print with pink lipstick on her left cheek. Suddenly this body felt boneless, as if struck by lightning in broad daylight. Realizing Mica was in his arms, trying to be strong to support his body that was starting to get weak. Following her steps into the house, towards the bedroom.Slowly, Micca was put to bed right next to Mahira. Closing his eyes while taking a very deep breath, then moving to the kitchen to make hot tea for her. His mind was in chaos, his legs and hands were shaking, he closed his eyes again while asking for forgiveness so that his brain could think clearly. Slowly bringing a glass of hot tea, placing it on the table. For a moment I stood still looking at him who

AZMIAAlhamdulillah, I express my deepest gratitude to Him. Joy and happiness shine upon our family, it is a source of encouragement to fill our days. Bram’s smile and sparkling eyes calm our hearts.Although he rides his motorbike almost every day, he does it with a happy and comfortable heart, not caring what people say about his position. Bram has transformed back into himself, a humble man, a husband that I love.This Sunday, Bram invited me to visit Kampung Situ Daun, a historical place for us. The cool term for this is tracing back, tracing the historical trail when the storm hit, our ship shook so hard, we were able to survive and rise again.The mushroom garden, is that garden still there? Bram handed over our mushroom garden to Mr. Wanto when he got a job at his current office. Hopefully Mr. Wanto is still taking care of his mushroom garden. Very enthusiastic to accept Bram’s invitation, missing the village atmosphere and mushroom garden – if only it still existed.“Come on, d

AZMIAWhy did it all happen so suddenly, so fast? Not given a chance to say goodbye even just a word, Mica has left us. It should have been me who left, not Mica. All this time, I was the one who felt the pain, because of the cancer that had nested in my brain, why did Mica have to leave???Every immunization, the doctor always said that Mica's condition was good, healthy, her development was good. Everything was normal, everything was good, so what caused Mica to leave? What was wrong with Mica's health?We had just bought eating utensils for Mica, bought new clothes for her. Two days before she left, the three of us - me, Mahira, and Mica - enjoyed every second of togetherness for the last time.Both eyes stared blankly at her new clothes, still intact stored in a shopping bag that had not been touched at all. Two large bags were lying on the floor of my room. She left me, without the slightest message. Clear beads flowed from both eyelids, my heart ached.Shaky hands holding the pho