Blue House wins. Right now the entire place is full of celebratory blues, while the other students quietly file out of the gate towards the tuition area. Nicki has crossed over to the other side of me, and is now jumping with Simon, screaming a cheer song at the top of their lungs. Those two would be perfect together. The award ceremony is over, and there’s nothing else to watch or do, plus we have been allowed to leave school early today. I poke Nicki in her side. “I want to go,” I tell her, but I don’t think she hears me, so I scream, “I WANT TO GO!” It’s not much of a scream in the midst of the loud diss song the blue crowd is directing towards the Red house who have come second. The Reds who trailed us by a mere four points are not taking any of it lightly. These kids are crazy, and the faster I get out of here, the better. “WAIT!” she screams back. I sigh. This is her type of thing, so I decide not to be a party pooper and leave. “I’LL JUST GO, SEE YOU TOMORROW!” “COOL, OKA

 I admit, the first thought to cross my mind is to leave. Then Jax lets out a broken sob and my heart squeezes behind my ribs. I imagine Angeline hovering somewhere around, watching us. It’s something I do a lot, and I know it might sound stupid or creepy but I can’t seem to be able to control it. I have always been paranoid, so I always imagine she’s in my room, or in class where we would sit together, and half of the time I would almost believe that she’s going to show up. It sounds messed up, and I’m sure if Dad knew the sort of thoughts I have he would most probably make me have sessions with one of his colleagues or something like that. I can’t push the thoughts out though, because every time I think of her it always ends up in the lines of what if she’s here? What would she do? What would she say? What did she use to do, say, et cetera?

 In gaining one friend – Isaac, regaining another one, - Jax, I have also sort of… Well, definitely lost one. Three weeks later, I still have no idea what happened. I have a feeling Jax breaking up with her has something to do with it, because she doesn’t talk to him either. He also told me she didn’t take the break up well. Does she think I had something to do with it? That maybe I asked him to stop things with her? I might have not approved, but that wasn’t my call to make. I would like to talk to her, but she doesn’t hang out around me anymore, and she went ahead to switch her sitting position in English class. I have had a lot of time to assess the status of my friendships, and I think it’s a bit worrying that Nicki is the only girl left in my life I can call a friend. I talk to Lilian regularly, but she’s my sister and I might be chea

 In the evening I lag behind Isaac, Simon, and Nicki towards Isaac’s car in the school parking lot. For once in very many weeks I’m going to spend time somewhere that’s not school or home. It’s encouraging, and I’m excited about it, even though I’m busy trying to downplay the excitement. It’s not like my parents have restricted me from going anywhere else. It’s entirely my fault that I never go anywhere. I had a little issue about hanging out at Isaac’s because of Mrs. Rutherford, but Isaac assured us she won’t be around, and even if she would have been, that she wasn’t scary at all. I just felt a little odd hanging out at a teacher’s house. Maybe if she wasn’t my teacher I wouldn’t mind. “I really love your hair,” Nicki is telling Isaac up ahead, running her fingers through his dark soft curls. She’s in a m

 The next day, on Thursday, that’s when I started falling into the trap Jude had set — intentionally or unintentionally — for me. Which is why right now I think I might be developing feelings for him. ‘Think’ being the operative word. He came rapping on my window yet again, the time being similar to the night before, and I let him in through my window. I was surprised at his appearance, because I had thought Wednesday night’s visit would be a one time occurrence. Later on I sat against my headboard and regarded him through half open eyes. “You look fine today, why are you here?” He had left early that morning, while I’d still been fast asleep. As so was everyone else in the house, thankfully. I could only imagine the kind of storm my parents would kick up if our little arrangement came to light.