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Lahat ng Kabanata ng If It's All The Same [COMPLETED]: Kabanata 11 - Kabanata 20

70 Kabanata

Chapter Eleven

I probably deserved a pat on the back when I refused Drey. Me? Cheat with him? I know within myself that I like him, but I was not that stupid to stoop that low. I was keeping everything to myself, and he comes into the picture admitting he liked me, too.It wasn’t my fault for him to feel that way. I was trying my best to avoid him! And I was not even doing anything for him to reciprocate what I was feeling back then…I know my limits and I will never cross that line.I really need to graduate and leave this town in peace.Everything just feels like a disaster, for real.Tears could not stop falling from my eyes as my friends try to pacify my feelings. I was partly crying because of the feelings I had for Drey. I knew it was a dumb mistake to let myself fall for him; I knew it was my choice. I have always known how badly we’d end up if I choose to become selfish and turn my back against the world just for him.&l

Chapter Twelve

I blinked.Once. Thrice. Until I could not even count anymore. There were no vacancies around Brampton, but I guess it was just because I was labeled as the town homewrecker. It was so obvious that even restaurants that seemed desperate for a worker denied my application.Great.Way to save their asses and sacrifice one’s life.I reached for my keys inside my purse and walked inside my apartment—tired and unaccomplished. I looked as if the god of disaster went down on me, and I could not even complain.Honestly…I can’t even complain freely. It’s as if I feel like I even have to pay when I try to complain about my situation with another disaster yet again.It just keeps on piling up.Fuck this world.I get tired, too. You know?I sighed as I check my phone for new messages. Mila and Sophie are probably busy since both of them went out of town to unwind. It would have been ni

Chapter Thirteen

I felt even worse after hearing that from Enrique. Sure, it would save me—it would probably paint Drey for cheating because he was longing to be loved and felt suffocated over a deal yadda, yadda. At some point, they’d feel anger… and then remorseful because he did not have a choice but to sacrifice himself just to save their family. And then probably be forgotten after a few weeks. What a fucking plot—it makes me want to subscribe… not. The funny thing about these people? They glorify men (because that’s how low they can go, honestly) but they’ll keep on pitting women against women. For them—that’s where the entertainment stems from. Women drama. Emotions. Anger. Frustrations. Screw that. I won’t submit to that. I would be caught lying if I say I wasn’t troubled—I knew I was and I still am. I never wanted to be caught in between a fucked-up love triangle, and I wasn’t desperate enough to be in one, too. But I wasn’t going to celebrate

Chapter Fourteen

I wasn’t looking forward to a better day when I woke up. I mean, it’s still the same—my life’s still the same—just out of the picture of these problematic rich kids… and I do not even want to get involved with their asses ever again.I’m handling too much already, and getting involved with them ever again just proves my stupidity.I haven’t really heard anything from them—Drey and Lyza, that is. I knew it was just part of the ordeal that I wouldn’t know what was going to neither of them. As much as I’d like to explain myself to Lyza—that I never really tolerated any of this shit—I did not want to invalidate what she is feeling right now. I mean if somebody happened to be involved with (probably) the biggest scandal in my life and it was with someone whom I trusted so much, I’d probably lose my shit, too.I do understand where she’s coming from.I just…

Chapter Fifteen

Paris was not an abrupt decision, and we all still had two days to pack—but unlike Mila and Sophie, I did not have much to pack for the trip, besides I wasn’t even much of a fashionista myself which makes me the hermit of the group… I think. But I still knew my style, though, of course, I wasn’t going to go to Paris in just plain old clothes. “Do you like that?” I immediately cocked my head away from the coat that I was eyeing and left the spot. Trying to act casual, I plastered a timid smile and walked towards Mila and Sophie. Awkward. Mila pouted, “Do you like that coat?” I shrugged, “It’s nice, but I won’t even wear it every day. It’d be just a waste of money,” I said as I check on the cheaper ones. What I’m thankful for the both of them was that they were never really the type to smother on my face all the money they had in their pockets—of course, obviously, they’d look pampered over me with their posh nails and customized Louis

Chapter Sixteen

“Finally!” I looked at my first boarding pass as a smile grew larger on my face. I couldn’t even believe that I was really going to Paris that I had to pinch myself the moment I woke up… It just really felt surreal after all that has been happening. And I finally realized that I do need a getaway from Brampton. It's really different when you finally realize your worth and understand that not everything’s your mistake. I just needed that constant reminder to myself, and probably a pat on the back for not letting myself get carried away with all these manipulations and gaslighting that society put me into. I didn’t really need someone else’s saving—and if Drey thought I needed him just to save myself and my feelings—then I must have been really dumb, for even thinking that I like him. I would have probably been the stupidest girl if I did the unthinkable—stoop low and get in a fucked-up relationship where we’ll just both end up ruining each othe

Chapter Seventeen

Our flight to Frankfurt could’ve been better if only Drey chose to mind his business and not mine. I mean, who the fuck sticks to someone else’s nose after doing them wrong? He seriously needs a lot of growing up to do.I probably deserve a plaque for not falling for his tricks.Thank God Lyza broke up with him, she deserved more than that douchebag.Toronto to Frankfurt took seven hours. I was feeling sick so I just slept most of the time since I got nothing better to do. Staying in the plane above ground for seven hours doesn’t seem to be ideal for someone who’s riding the plane for the first time.I remained silent when we arrived at the airport, and the three of them let me be. I didn’t want one message for Drey to bother me, but I was a traitor of my own mind… it feels like every now and then, my feelings keep on betraying me. It hasn’t been long since the last time we talked after shit went down… it

Chapter Eighteen

The thought that I am in Paris finally sunk in my mind the moment I woke up, thinking it was all just but a good dream I’ll never get to fulfill. But here I was, drinking my cup of hot cocoa in our room’s balcony in a hotel with the Eiffel Tower across my view. I even wanted to laugh and imagined how I would shove this to the throats of those who mocked me for so long.But then I realized, it was just a privileged I was granted because I was friends with privileged people.I sighed.“Good morning.” I nodded and smiled at Enrique who was busy stirring his coffee.“Black?”He nodded and raised his mug a little, “I like it natural,” he said, chuckling.Mila and Sophie were still sleeping, so we just decided to order breakfast for ourselves. Understandable since it’s just 6:30 in the morning, and they’ll probably wake up at 8.The silence was probably a thing between Enr

Chapter Nineteen

Days passed by in a hurdle and to say I had fun in Paris would be an understatement. It was a journey embarked towards healing which I never even imagined my entire life. If any, I’d even say it made me forget for a while, although I am not trying to run away from the reality that I have to face, it was a good breath of fresh air even just for a week.A lot happened during the entire tour. Mila and Sophie were taking photos with me and vlogging the entire week that I just got used to their cameras already, and they kept on calling me a natural which I found really funny.But being in Paris hit me hard, too—if the privilege was not just a thing for the upperclassmen, then it would have been so nice to just run away for a moment. I wouldn’t even deny that I was privileged enough to be friends with these people, although there comes a time that I’d also wish that I was at the same status quo as them. I mean… imagine spending lavishl

Chapter Twenty

I forced myself to ignore the news but I was a traitor of my own mind. Besides, having to go back to Brampton meant I had to face the inevitable eventually—I mean, I knew I wasn’t entirely a part of their circus (and I wasn’t even a voluntary accomplice) yet I was there to watch everything fall apart in front of my eyes…I do feel guilty. But what can I do? Wasn’t I a victim, too? Why do I feel like everyone’s pining the fault to me when all I ever did is avoid him?It wasn’t as if I could dictate myself whom to like—but at least I wasn’t stupid enough to actually stoop low.Yet… I was the powerless one. I was an addition to the scene. Probably a pawn. Of course, I’d carry the weight of the burden they had to carry.I hugged my knees as my bed is bathed in a faint yellow haze as sunlight rushes in through the windows. It has just been hours since we arrived in Brampton, and it already fee

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