All Chapters of IF ONLY: Chapter 31 - Chapter 40
55 Chapters
Volume 2: Ch. 10.5
Some memories are hard to forget. I tried to fall asleep but every time I close my eyes I see those faces. Fear, Guilt and Terror only God and my dead sister knows my struggles. I've kept my mouth shut, carrying it on my back and ignore the word call justice and what's right. In the end I realize that I couldn't fall asleep cause my past has haunted me. It's 1 in the morning already. She probably showed up right now, but she didn't and now I'm alone in the dark. I had the fear to walk outside, I might feel a hand grasped and take me inside the endless void. If ghost of revenge were real then could have hunted me by now. I grabbed my phone to have some light. I tried to squeeze my hand underneath bed, I know that I hid somewhere. Alas. There is it, Benzodiazepines. It is also known as sleeping pills. I knew that I would need this tonight, I took 1 pills and felt nothing, so I decided to take some more and more till I rea
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Volume 2: Ch.11
-  Did you miss me? -   “Have you confessed yet?” Joseph asked. It was a short break time in the afternoon. The teacher hasn’t arrived yet thus some students were frolicking around, some even cut class. Joseph decided to chitchat to the listless Wayne. “Nope, it’s none of your business.” The young man replied. He glanced at April which brought a smile on his face. The blonde hair’s bliss returned; it was all thanks to him. He wanted to take things slow, giving her space enough for her to love herself better. He didn’t want to give him an answer but he kept pestering him.   “Come on! Just tell me.”   “I don’t think I’m prepared yet.” Wayne 
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Volume 2: Ch. 12
-Kill Switch mode have been activated- “I’m going to kill you for real!” She pointed a knife from her pocket towards the young man.   Dyed blond hair, tanned complexation and pony tailed hair. The girl was often called Ana but Anastasia Maruyog was her real name. She grew up in the slums or was known us the under the bridge people. She grew up in streets fighting among her fellow kin, beaten up with her father and seeing people and relatives get killed. Her childhood life and environment raised her to be what she is today. A person who believes force and subjugation is needed to get what she wants.   “Of course, how could I forget you?” Wayne replied. He felt nostalgic, the same thing that happened to him few weeks ago where she almost beat him up to death.  He brought the same cocky look in front of her, not fearing death even in the face of murder intent girl.   “Don’
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Volume 2: Ch. 13
- The end of the self-proclaim gang -   The monster within him finally made out. The sense of euphoria while he beats each one them leaked out. The nightmare that he always had came into a reality. He was left nothing but hate and regret towards himself. What can make it worse? Her friend Jill stood 5 meters away from him. Her eyes revealed the state of surprise, after all she saw everything. The ominous laughter and the violence that he showed in the forest where the light weakly passes.     “What have I done?” The sense of defeat and hopelessness. After all he tried to hide his past away, but no matter how deep he tries burrying it. It seems that memories has it’s own way of escaping.     The girl slowly approached him. He didn’t want to see her distraught eyes thus he looked down. Jill held fidgeting hand and said, “Let’s go back. We already finished cle
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Volume 2: Ch. 14
- A change of heart –   “Today I’ll try to be a better person!” It was new day for Anastasia. After what had happened yesterday, she realized that all she needed to change her ways. Seeing her friends gets beaten up hit a bullet on her head. She didn’t want that to happen again, thus she decided to attend class today. The sound of car beeping rang on her phone, she got a message on her phone. “I’m quitting school, I’ll do job hunt today!” It was from Kyna, that’s what message reads. The girl prepared herself to school, she took a bath outside in the cold moring. Bathe herself in strawberry cologne, smudge baby powder and groom her hair. She decided not to tie it for a new look.     She looked for a food to take for breakfast but nothing just bottles of beers and rotten meal from last night. Her beaten up mother came and gave her money, “T-that’s all I have
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Volume 2: Ch. 15
- The stalker -     Today was the awaited day for her. The date that she asked, just few minutes and she’ll see his face once again. Jill walked in the endless seemingly road. Early in the morning where the sun hasn't fully risen. The two agree to meet at the center of the town at exactly 8 am. She was prepared and everything she needed was in her pouch. Hills and wide array of farm land can be seen. Carabaos and their owners, farmers pulling out weeds and wives delivered food to their hard-working husband. A scenery of the slice of life of the farmers. Flipping pages as she walks vividly, however every sight felt redundant. From afar there was a silhouette of a person, creeping from tree to tree with aura of lust, like a hyaena on a scavenged, he followed Jill from afar. Jill was unaware of the stalker thus she walked clueless of what's to come. The young man wasn't that smart that he followed her closer, the distance betwe
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Volume 2: Ch. 16
- The true Jill part 1 - People say that the true color of a person are the darkest side. But isn’t that unfair to assume?   Cigarettes, Mint and mouthwash are the three things that Jill always have. She told herself countless times that she would quit, but it always been difficult to stop something you are addicted to. She looked at the time, 10 minutes left before the agreed time for their date. Jill lit up her lighter and smoked in the corner. Where no people might see her, other wise people would give her a second look.   “Fuck! It’s irresistible.” She uttered as she stared at the rolled stick on her hand. She had regrets, but after she the stalker guy who always follows her around. The girl couldn’t help to brim out of anger. She pretended to be tough from his attempted black mail, but truth lies in her eyes that are afraid of being found out. She looked at the remaining cigar, she threw it on the gro
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Volume 2: Ch. 17
-The True Jill part 2-   “PLEASE!! DON’T DO THIS JILL!” Jm never felt this fear and despair in his entire life. He looked at Jill’s eyes and saw a monster standing in front of him, with the chuckle that could kill him.     “Don’t do what?” The girl looked at her with innocent eyes, as if she was clueless about the situation. “Hehehe, what are you talking about Jm?” The girl giggled, before she intended to expose her bolo examining it carefully. It was sharpened, she didn’t even start yet but JM felt it the slit feeling from his throat. This could be his last day, that what he felt.     “C-come on! We can talk about this Jill, y-you don’t have to do this.” “Do what? What do you mean?” “Don’t make fool of me!”  Jm shouted, he lost his temper from antics of Jill. “You’re going to far”
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Volume 2: Ch.18
-The night before their date.- The memories of haunting past are like ghost that keeps haunting back.   The shadow figures scowling around was not new sight for him. They exist to bring forth the guilt of his actions no matter how deep he tries to bury it. It was the bloodied woman, the two bully who grew afraid of him, and silhouette unknown people. They walked towards him watching him as he sleeps. The moment he opens his eyes  he saw the bloodied covered figure staring cold bloodied with anguish and vengeance.   “What do you want?” The question he always asked. “What we want is something you cannot give” “We exist, we are real.” However, the answer was always vague even though it’s stark obvious why they are present. “I only wish for a peaceful night. How is that hard to ask!” “Hah! Peace? How can a killer achieve it?”
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Volume 2: Ch.19
The confession     “Wish I could take a further step.”  Jill whispered in the dead asleep Wayne who laid on top of her lap. The young man finds her proposal embarrassing but he quickly fell asleep the moment he rested on her soft thighs.   People didn’t seem to bother them. They simply looked like a couple flirting in public terminal, which is common scenario. Plus, it was a busy day for a lot of people.  Jill watched him pant his breath. She played with his soft hair and admire, how he was groom properly. He was in the midst of deep slumber, exhausted. That’s what she describes him.   “I wish you could tell me what happen, but I’m pretty sure you won’t.” She gave him a kiss in the cheeks and giggled. “I hope you’d never notice.” She continued to watch him sleep until he wakes up after 5 hours. They both stayed in the terminal f
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