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บททั้งหมดของ Déjà Vu: บทที่ 21 - บทที่ 30

34

Chapter 21

 “Whatever you say. I won’t come with you,” Savannah said on the screen of her laptop before shutting it. Naupo ako sa tabi niya at ibinaba ang juice niya sa gilid ng laptop. “Sorry about that.”I shrugged. “It’s okay. It’s your dad.”She smirked before drinking her juice. “I don’t fucking care.”Nahiga siya sa couch na ipinatong ang ulo sa kandungan ko, bago niya ibinaba sa center table ang baso. Ipinikit niya ang mga mata niya bago siya nagbuntonghininga.“That man really sucks. He loved mama but he made her a mistress. I don’t get his fucking point about that. Mama died blaming herself for that.”I nodded before planting a kiss on her lips that made her eyes open. “Don’t think about that too much.”“Why?”I shrugged. “You’re stressing yourself out.”She smirked. “I really wanted to stop thinking about that but he’s still my father, though. At hanggang hindi ko pa kayang tumayo sa sarili kong mga paa, I can never leave.”She sighed again before taking her phone in her
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Chapter 22

 Tnce looked very offended after hearing the story that I told them tonight. “‘Tang ina naman, bakit ka gan’yan? Si Savannah na ‘yong girlfriend mo!” bulyaw niya sa akin.Terrence might be a real dork but he can be really scary when angry, tulad ngayon. Sinalinan ko ng alak ang baso ko bago ininom ‘yon nang diretso.“Wala naman akong ginawa,” sagot ko.Wala naman talaga akong ginawa. I just watched Grace walked away from us after introducing herself to Savannah. Tinapos namin ni Savannah ang pag-e-enroll niya hanggang sa nag-aya na siyang umuwi dahil pagod na siya.The exhaustion is evident in her face so I believed her. After all, we did so many things in the university and I, myself, felt so tired.“Wala ka ngang ginawa, pare,” Aldrin said, calmly. “‘Yon na nga. Normally, nasa bahay ka pa ni Savannah ngayon. ‘Tang ina, 8:30 pa lang nang gabi. Ang normal na uwi mo, alas onse. Minsan nga doon ka na natutulog, ‘di ba? May problema talaga. Hindi mo na p’wedeng ikaila ‘yon.”
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Chapter 23

 I cupped her face and kissed her lips before talking.“I have two ways I know.” I looked away when I saw her face turn bright red. She might’ve known what I am about to say. “Using my hands or . . . dry . . . humping?”She laughed with the way I said that. I am really careful with the words I used with these things to her, because I know she didn’t do these things yet.“Why are you being like that? Don’t treat me like a child. I know about those things.”I gulped but smiled at her. “So what do you want?”Itinagilid niya ang ulo niya na parang nag-isip. “Uhm, I don’t want the flesh to flesh yet, so, can we do the latter?”I nodded. This will be the first time I’ll do this, damn.“Where do you want?”“Studio.” She winked at me.Naupo na ako at binuhat siya, tsaka tinungo ang hagdanan papunta sa studio niya. Nang makapasok kaming dalawa doon, nakita ko kaagad ang closet niya na minsan kong binuksan, dahilan ng ilang linggo niyang pag-iwas sa akin.“So, what part of this
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Chapter 24

 The school started already and for some reasons, I am so nervous.“Ano?” tanong sa akin ni Terrence nang tumingin ako sa kan’ya. Umiling ako, dahilan ng pag-ismid niya. “Tigil-tigilan mo ako, ah? Naiinis pa rin ako sa ‘yo, pare.”I sighed before laughing as I put my arms on his shoulder. “Wala nga. Bati na tayo, pare, ‘wag ka nang magalit.”He rolled his eyes at me before removing my arms on his shoulder. “Ayusin mo sarili mo. Halatang ninenerbyos ka. Bakit ka ba ninenerbyos? Dahil p’wede kayong magkita ni Grace?”Hindi ako nakasagot dahil kahit ako, nagtataka rin dahil ninenerbyos ako ngayon habang naglalakad kami papasok sa campus. Gusto ko sanang sunduin si Savannah para sabay na kaming pumasok, kaso mamaya pa ang first class niya at ako naman ay may klase ng 7:30 AM.“Wala naman nga.”Umiiling si Terrence na nauna nang umalis. Wala rin si Aldrin dahil mamaya pa ang klase niya kaya naman nauna na kaming umalis ng condo ni Terrence. Napabuntonghininga na lang ako bago p
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Chapter 25

 Walking to my department’s building means passing by the Psychology’s department. I thought, avoiding Grace would be very simple since I’ll be very busy, now that I am in my fourth year in Engineering, but no.“Hi, Connor!” Grace greeted me as I walked past their building.Tumango ako bilang tugon. “Hi.”“May klase ka na?” tanong niya habang sinasabayan ako sa paglakad. Tumango ako bilang tugon. “Okay.”Hindi ko na ulit siya nilingon pa nang huminto na siya sa paglalakad. Grace usually does that all the time since we were in high school. She’s a very cheerful woman even before with all the elegance she carries. Alam ko namang tapos na kaming dalawa, matagal na. Siya na nga ang nagputol n’on sa amin, eh. Pero hindi na rin ako komportable.At isa pa, nangako ako kay Savannah na iiwasan ko na si Grace kahit na hindi naman madalas siya lumalapit sa akin. Kapag lang nadadaan ako, babatiin niya ako, tulad kanina.Nang makaupo ako pagkapasok sa loob ng room ay nakahinga ako nang
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Chapter 26

 Nng maihiga na sa vacant bed si Grace, kinausap ako ng nurse na p’wede na raw akong umalis at pumasok na ako sa klase ko dahil siya na raw ang bahala na mag-abiso sa prof niya na hindi ito makakapasok.Wala sa sarili akong umalis ng clinic at naglakad pabalik ng building namin, iniisip pa rin ang lahat ng sinabi ni Grace. Alam ko naman. Expected ko naman yung rason niya, pero nang marinig mula mismo sa bibig niya . . . para akong nanghina. Para akong itinapon pabalik sa mga araw na sinasaktan niya ang sarili niya sa harap ko.Bago ako makapasok sa room, nag-vibrate ang cellphone ko. Kinuha ko ‘yon sa bulsa ko at nakita na nag-text si Savannah. Binasa ko kaagad ‘yon. Why is she asking me this? I sighed before typin
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Chapter 27

 “Pare, tara, alis,” rinig kong pag-aya sa akin ni Terrence sa k’warto ko. “Bar daw, birthday ng tropa ni Jin sa UST!”“Kayo na lang.”It’s been a month since Savvy broke up with me. I tried getting her back, courting her everyday, hoping that what she said was just an impulsive decision. But she never came back. Parang hindi niya nga ako nakikita kapag magkakasalubong kami sa campus.“Tama na mukmok, pare. Lungkot na kami,” sabi ni Terrence bago naupo sa gilid ng kama ko. “Ayusin mo yung sarili mo. Exam week na sa susunod na linggo. Baka bumagsak ka.”Hindi ako sumagot, dahil alam kong papunta na nga ro’n ang kapalaran ko sa college. Siguradong magagalit si Mama pero wala naman din siyang magagawa para sa akin. Kung ako nga, hindi matulungan ang sarili ko.Ang hirap lang na wala si Savannah.“Pare, tama na. Ipakita mo kay Savvy na deserve mo yung second chance hindi yung gan’yang sinisira mo buhay mo dahil lang wala na siya sa ‘yo.”Napabuntonghininga ako bago bumangon a
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Chapter 28

 When the month of August came, I always look for Savannah. Hindi pa man kami nagmi-midterm noon at hindi pa kami nagkakalinawan ni Grace tungkol sa mga naging problema sa aming dalawa, palagi ko nang pinupuntahan si Savannah kung nasaan siya.I just wanted to relive the moments we had back when we were happy. I just wanted to relive the feelings I had when we were dancing under the first rainfall in the month of August.But it rained . . . and it rained. A storm came, numbers of low pressure areas were experienced for the whole month of August, and I never saw her dance under the first rainfall of August ever again. I never saw her get excited with the rain anymore.For the whole month of August, I never saw her smile when it rained, not even once. I was always watching her from afar. I almost cut classes just so I could see her expressions for the rain she loved to anticipate. And I never saw that same excitement again.Naging normal na araw na lang para sa kan’ya ang pana
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Chapter 29

 It feels like I was lost, knowing that Savannah doesn’t have plans on coming back to me. Ang hirap . . . ang sakit. Ang daming dahilan para tumigil ako, pero hindi ko kaya. Gusto ko pa rin na ulitin ang lahat—ligawan ulit siya . . . pero hindi ko mapigilan yung sakit. Sa tuwing lalapit ako sa kan’ya, sumasaya ako, pero nalulungkot din sa tuwing maaalala na hindi na nga siya sa akin.“Tama na muna,” sabi ni Jin matapos kong ik’wento sa kanila ang nangyari nang gumabi. “Hayaan mo muna siyang malayo sa ‘yo, at ganoon ka rin sa kan’ya. Baka gan’yan ang kailangan n’yo, pare?”Sinalinan ko ang baso ko ng alak at mabilis ‘yong ininom habang kitang-kita ko ang tatlong pares ng mga mata na nanonood sa akin.“Ayoko,” mabilis na sagot ko matapos ibaba ang baso.“Tingnan mo nga ‘yang itsura mo,” iritadong sabi ni Terrence. “Gan’yan ka na lang? Magiging maayos panandalian, tapos babalik ka sa dati kapag nasaktan? Ayusin mo nga sarili mo, pare. Sa tingin mo, babalikan ka niya nang gan’ya
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Chapter 30

 She looked at me, confused, as she seems to be digesting all the words I just said. She scoffed before rolling her eyes at me.“Of course not. I won’t. I’ll stay where I am. Hindi por que nakipag-hiwalay ako sa ‘yo, magkakaroon na ako ng dahilan para iwanan ang dream house ni Mama.” She looked away. “I’ll come with him for a vacation but that’s for the Christmas holiday. Matagal pa. Pero babalik ako rito.”Napatango-tango ako kasabay ng mga buntonghininga ko. Buti na lang. Buti na lang talaga.“Congrats.”Kumunot ang noo niya sa sinabi ko. “For what?”“For fixing things up with your dad. You won’t come with him for a vacation if you didn’t forgive him yet, right?” I smiled.Hindi na siya sumagot pa. Ilang sandali pa kaming nanahimik habang pareho kaming nakasandal sa hood ng kotse ko. Tuluyan nang humupa ang ambon at malamig na hangin na lang ang tanging natira.“So, what really brings you here? Anong oras na, you really should’ve left by 8:00 PM already.”I smiled timi
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