Todos os capítulos de How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis : Capítulo 101 - Capítulo 110

It didn’t take me long to get changed. I had fallen asleep in my clothes and only needed to put my shoes on. I emerged from the tent bleary-eyed but ready for action. More or less.Keezy was waiting for me with a small creature at his side. It came up to about my waist and had the head of a dog but with human-ish ears and eyes. It also had a tail that slapped from side to side. If it were an actual dog, I would assume it was happy, but it wasn’t an actual dog so who knows?“This is May-May. He will act as our tracker.”If here were an actual dog, I would also assume he’d sniff the ground and then catch Kungen’s scent. It’s hard not to let your preconceptions inform your poor guesses but I decided not to presume when faced with things that shouldn’t really exist. Especially when the thing in question might get annoyed and eat me.“So you’re working with humans now,” said May-May in a yappy voice that only reinforced my presumptions. “You trolls sure are hard

The atmosphere was one of relief and jubilation. We had gone up against an indomitable foe and won. Or rather, they had.I considered their actions to be incredibly stupid, but there was no doubting their victory.As I watched them hug each other and laugh about being sucked into the mouth of a giant worm, they looked like heroes. Not the type with muscles and loincloths and big swords. More like the teacher who stands between her kids and a madman with a knife, even though she knows it’ll probably get her killed.Was this why we were brought to this world? So people like this could band together and save lives in the most ridiculous way possible? It wasn’t so far-fetched. The no-hopers who get their shit together and accomplish amazing things are often the heroes of a story, why not this one?They still weren’t a team you would call on to save the day unless you had absolutely no other choice, but if you told them what they needed to do, they’d be willing t

The village was still being put together. I ran through the semi-erect structures being hammered and roped together, frantically searching for any signs of a small dog-like creature.I didn’t expect to see him, but I couldn’t help but check to make sure every time I spied a furball under three-foot.Within a few seconds of arriving, I ended up in the middle of the village where an assortment of creatures placed barrels on top of each other behind a large bar. They had to take down and put up this large drinking establishment daily — seemed a lot of unnecessary work. Where did they even put the barrels during the day?These and other questions didn’t bother me for once. I had other matters on my mind.“Have you seen Attica?” I asked the wolfgirl. She was behind the bar sorting out some cups and bowls.She gave me a dead-eyed glance that suggested she had better things to do and went back to stacking cups without saying anything.I took out my sw

Normally, you would expect the guy to steal a kiss from the girl, and the girl’s the one to slap him. When was my life ever normal?Of course, a man should never hit a woman. And he definitely shouldn’t hit a woman who’s carrying a dagger. Jenny didn’t reach for the blade at her waist, she just looked at me with surprise.I looked away and stared intently at the ground. I could have apologised and generally grovelled for her to forgive me, that would be the normal thing to do. I hadn’t hit her very hard, but that was hardly the point.Once I took responsibility, it would be game over. My position of moral superiority would be forfeit and I’d never be able to get it back.She was the one in the wrong. Yes, I overreacted and did something terrible, but that didn’t take away from what she did. Using the thing I was weakest against — affection — to manipulate me, to get me to do whatever she wanted, was reprehensible.Right?I did what anyone would

When I say ‘near vertical’ I might be exaggerating a little. It did feel like I might fall out if I didn’t hold on tightly, but our angle of ascent was probably more like forty-five degrees. Which is still pretty vertical when you don’t have any seat belts.The dragon shot into the air in a single bound and the ground fell away rapidly. A cold wind blasted through the middle of the plates along its back, making my eyes stream and my nose run. Then the wings unfolded with a snap and we levelled out.We weren’t super high, but you’d still end up splattered if you jumped.The dragon mainly glided, occasionally swinging its wings forward then back, like it was swimming through the air. We didn’t go up or down, we just stayed at the same height. What was keeping the gigantic beast aloft, I had no idea.“I’m thinking some kind of lighter than air gas in the dragon’s stomach,” called out Maurice. No one had asked him his theory on the flying affront to physics, but