Lahat ng Kabanata ng How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis : Kabanata 71 - Kabanata 80

Raviva offered to guide us out of the caves. Which was great, seeing as how we had no idea of the real layout of the place, but it was hard not to be suspicious of his motives. With trolls, you could never tell what was for real and what was the next hilarious prank. When Jespert had warned us about trolls having terrible sense of humour, he hadn’t been kidding.We set off with Raviva at the front and a couple of trolls bringing up the rear. Kaceyton also accompanied us, chatting with Flossie about favourite songs and swapping dance moves. They had become quite good friends, which could prove to be useful later. Or it could be our downfall. Paranoid? You betcha. Not until we were back in the outside world did I intend to let my guard down.“It’s been some time since we had such an intense match,” said Raviva as he led us through a maze of tunnels. “Shame we couldn’t keep going,” he leaned towards me, which made me flinch, and whispered loud enough to give my hair a new pa

Mandy ran towards Sonny who jumped down from his horse and embraced her. Also watching this reunion were a dozen or so soldiers on horseback. They were covered in dust and grime but that did nothing to hide the air of menace they exuded. The only thing worse than a vicious thug is a vicious thug in uniform.Each was built like brick shit-house and had the face of man who would kill you if he could be bothered, so probably best not to bother him.“You guys know Sonny,” I said to Jenny.“Yes. We met him in Fengarad. He was close with Tin and Dag.”Great.“Not a big fan?” asked Jenny.As Sonny and Mandy excitedly exchanged words, his face transformed from delight to shock to sadness. Mandy pointed over to us, and then Sonny’s face took on a whole new visage. I guess you could call it fury.“Not exactly. By the way, I’m kicking you out of the group. If Sonny asks, we just escorted you here.”“No,” said Jenny. “I’m with you guys.” She

Despite the casual and friendly way the offer had been made, I was under no illusions as to what would happen if I said no to working for Gullen Santan, Road Planner.“What about the others?” I asked him.“I’m sure we could find them something to do in Dargot. Or, they could carry on their adventures without you. It’s a big world with lots of interesting things in it.”Yeah, that could kill you. But I could see them all settling down. Maurice opening a small bicycle shop. Dudley and Flossie running a karaoke bar. None of them bothering me anymore. It could be quite nice.Biadet placed a small bowl of creme brulee on the table and narrowed her eyes like a gunfighter. I leaned back and let her take the first bite.“Under normal circumstances, I would encourage you to roam around a bit, too, but these are troubled times, I’m afraid,” said Gullen. “As you know, Fengarad is under siege at the moment. The lizardman are encamped on their doorstep with more a

The following morning everyone had a terrible hangover. Apart from me, of course. They emerged from their rooms wincing and coloured various shades of green.Gullen hadn’t reappeared since he rushed off the previous night, but Biadet was there to guide us to yet another dining room where we were served breakfast. I ravenously stuffed my face. The others nibbled a little toast.“You should try these sausages.” I waved my fork under their noses. “Not sure what kind of meat it is, but it tastes great. So juicy and succulent.” I stuck it in my mouth and chewed sloppily. “Mmm, yum. Look.”Flossie and Maurice both rushed off to the bathroom while Claire refused to look in the direction of my open mouth. Dudley was the only one to match me bite for bite, tucking into his plate loaded with a bit of everything.“Oh, I say. That’s a little bit better.”Either he had a remarkable constitution, or he had abstained from drinking too much to make sure Flossie was o

Flossie walked across the room like she was in a trance. She seemed to know where she was going, though. We all watched her, curious to see what had possessed her to walk away from the security of our little group.She made a beeline for the young man playing the lute. She stopped in front of him, her head bobbing along to the terrible ‘hey nonny nonny’ tune he was plucking.The guy smiled at her and carried on.He threw a couple of curious looks her way as she continued to stand right in front of him.He hit a couple of bum notes, starting to get nervous about the weird girl eyeballing him from two feet away. He’d probably never had a groupie before.But it turned out Flossie had something other than getting his autograph in mind. When he finally came to the end of his jaunty little ditty, she moved in closer and started speaking with him. Or at him. She was very animated; he was very frightened.He looked confused at first, but after a bit he