As I stand in the quiet corners of my tent, I dread to make this call to Isabella. Yes, what was our love lay completely in tatters, and in a way, I know that I can make peace with that. The only thing that gives me comfort in all this pain is the little one that is growing in her belly.It kills me not to be there during this time when every experience is new. When there is a miracle growing, and I cannot be part of that journey every day. What kills me even more is having to think that I might not ever get the chance to be there. Yes, I know that she will never do such a thing to me, but my heart still worries, and it worries even now more than ever, knowing that there is something that she needs to tell me.I can, in all honesty, only guess that it has to do with the baby, for what else can she possibly do herself to destroy me. So even though I am so furious at her still, I gather all the strength I have left and dial her number once more.It takes me a very

It has been three weeks since things between Isabella and me have fallen apart. I have come, in my own weird way, to accept that it has come to a spectacular end. I have on the occasion, and might I say too many, but I have had the desire to phone her. I find myself with my phone in hand near sending her a message quite often. But between Galland and Cayley, I have managed to come to a point where I can say that I am moving on, slowly but at a certain pace.What I have also done is not been out on a mission with the squad either. I pose a bigger risk at getting myself, and even far worse, one of my men killed with my mind that just lacked being there.It is early morning; the camp is still dead silent, with only but a few Marines wandering around. I have come to the only place where I can breathe and free my mind. My haven, the tree on the far side of the camp. The light does not reach here, and it is eerily quiet. Only with a few bugs buzzing and the clear, beautiful

On my ass, in the mud.That is what you get if you stare at a woman's hips and do not look where you are going.Was it worth it? Well, my fucked up leg might tell you otherwise, but yes, I think I got in a full eye's view.So with a very much bruised and most definitely blistered leg, I get into the Humvee. Now, I don't know by the smile on her face if she is amused or slightly concerned. But the moment she leans forward and places her delicate fingers on the top of my prosthetic leg, she softly whispers, "Clay, are you okay?""We will see as soon as we get back. But yes, next time, refrain from swaying that ass so much."She only but bursts out in laughter, the rest of the Humvee only but whimper little chuckles underneath their breath. But the moment that Galland tries to even utter, I give him one full slap against his head."Get us out of here before I slap you even harder.""Well, Lieutenant, are you sure you don't w

It has been tough since I spoke to Isabella. I can honestly say that I have pushed Caylee away since then. Now, I wish I can say that I don't know why. But I do.I still have feelings for Isabella.Now, what feelings? I have been too scared to think about it. I have been too scared to explore my heart to find out what they are. We have three months and a week to go; things have been what I expected. The excitement, the passion, and the risks. But what I have not expected is Caylee. Now, this is another feeling I am now scared to explore.And that brings me to this. Why do I need a woman to make me a man? Why do I need a woman to make me forget about another? Not that I am saying that Caylee is a rebound, but I have heard the stories going around at camp.Now Caylee and I have not gone all the way yet, and now more than before, I am asking myself why? What has changed that I don't desire her so badly? I wish I knew all the answers

The moment that I heard that Caylee had gotten hurt, I could not bear thinking of how I would feel if I ever had to lose Isabella out of my life completely. I know it was the messed-up time to realize this, but I knew that I had to let go of this thing I thought I felt for Caylee. I was making her a way to run away from my pain, to deal with the heartache whenever Isabella pushed me away.Now here I am sitting, and I am asking the woman that I said I never want to see in my life again to take me back and somehow, even perhaps, forget that any of this has happened. My heart will not take to be even further rejected. I simply cannot live without this woman, and if she will give me half a minute, I will prove this to her.Is she will only say a word."Isi, did you hear what I said?""Yes, I think I did. Well, at least that is what my mind says.""Please, say something?""Clay, I, I think I must go. James is going to be home any minute."