Semua Bab MORTEM: Bab 21 - Bab 30

Devon walked me home. I didn’t know that it was already midnight. The street is quiet and the neighbors are already sleeping. I feel so tired and my head is aching and until now I still can’t believe what I saw. I feel like I time travel to the past because I see what happened to them and why can’t they rest in peace until now. We reached home and the lights are already off and the door is closed but I know it is not locked because I am not yet home. I slowly opened it and looked inside. I am right they are already sleeping now. I looked at Devon who was waiting for me to kiss him goodnight but I feel like I don’t want him to go home because until now I can still see horrible scenes in my head that make me scared.  “Can you stay with me even for one night?” I asked him. I want him to sleep beside me because I am scared.  

WE REMAIN SILENT. I am waiting for him because I know what he means and I feel nervous, excited and I can’t explain. I have this euphoric feeling because his sweet but flirty stare makes me sexy. The whole room feels hot and steamy. My sweat is coming out one by one. I can’t look at him directly because I feel uneasy and excited at the same time. He didn’t say a word but his silence and the way he stared at me says it all. I noticed that I was facing him with my panties showing up. That is why I immediately closed my legs, which makes him laugh and shake his head. He continued staring at me because he knows that I am melting by his stare. I am getting high because of MJ and I know he is high too. I can see it in his eyes that energize me by his stare. He makes me feel sexy, he makes me feel horny, he makes me wet but I need to hold it because I know this is not the right time. The smell of MJ filled the room and he stood up to lock t

Our gorgeous friend Luna, let us borrow her car. Good thing that her car is orange and I don’t have a fear of riding in it. I didn’t know that Devon could drive. He cannot just drive me crazy but he can drive a car too and he will be more handsome because of that. We prepare the things that we need and I bring cash for the gas. I sat in the passenger’s seat. I buckle up and Devon does the same too. He turned on the engine and he turned on the radio too. The song matches us. A beautiful song by Stephen Speaks, “Passenger’s seat”. He started driving and he started singing too. It became more beautiful when he started singing it. I didn’t know that he had such an amazing voice. His voice is so relaxing when he sings. I close my eyes while facing the window when I suddenly remember Jayvee.

I went out of my father’s room to ask my mom about my whole life because I want to know the whole details of it. I want to hear it from her since I already know the truth. I put my notebook and the cutter inside my pocket because she doesn’t need to see it. I am ready to know everything now because for all my life I have been living a lie, and it is hard for me to believe in what I saw. I thought it was just my visions but it is my memory. MY LOST MEMORY. “Mom” I called even though I am not sure if I have a right to call her mom, because I know she is not my mother. She looked at me silently but I know deep inside she is asking “If I need something” “Mom” I called again while holding my tears, not to fall. “How did you fi

I cannot erase in my head what the Mother Superior said about Jayvee. I am surprised to know that I have already met him since we were little and we have the same orphanage. Well I didn’t know that he was adopted too. Mother Superior is not going to lie to me that is why I believe in her. She also showed me a photo when we were little and yes, she is telling the truth because Jayvee showed his photos to me when he was young and it looks exactly the same in the photo that Mother Superior showed me. I regret knowing about it. I feel like if only I could turn back time I will never let him go but that is life. It is meant to happen because it was meant to happen. I rode in a bus and I sat near the window. I am going to my old house and I want to stay there for a moment. I want to recall everything that I missed because I really want to complete my life. This is my first time riding in a bu