Devin Or Xavier のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 91 - チャプター 100

XAVIER'S POV The moment I opened my eyes, I felt a sharp pain. My head split in pains and I growled at how bad it ached. I held my head for the next twenty seconds before turning to the other side of the bed. My gaze fell on Emily, she was facing the wall and wrapped her hands around her body. I tried hard to recall what happened and I suddenly remember coming home drunk, talking rude and— "Fuck." I didn't mean to molest her, in fact I had no idea what I was doing and it stung my chest to know I did something that inhumane to her. I sat up on my bed and kept looking at her. It felt like she was still asleep but not in a deep sleep. I couldn't imagine how much hatred she had for me already. I had to know if our parents were back so I stood up quietly and tiptoed out. I locked the door gently so it didn't wake her up. When I got to the sitting room, the door was still locked and my jacket was on the sofa I dropped it last night. I messed up big time and I blamed myself. Vodka had

I was thinking Emily would say something about that night but she didn't. Two days went and she didn't mention it and that got me worried. I was hoping we'd address it and I'd get another chance to apologize and explain how my actions were influenced by alcohol. I won't lie, 55 % of what I did want because I was drunk. I knew what I was doing, I had planned it and t8ld myself several times that it would be a bad idea. I wanted her to much that I for a second, felt been hard on her would make her be mine but, did it work? Emily did so well in avoiding me, she didn't sleep in the room and pretended like she was so busy with school work and was falling asleep while doing assignments or reading. That way, Mom and Dad didn't suspect but I knew it was deeper than what she let them see. She was grounded and her screen time reduced. Once it was 8 pm she had to give up her phone or get disconnected. I watched her from afar and saw how she carried on with her activities lik

I looked at her and sudden guilt flushed over me. More than I ever felt, I could feel guilt burning inside of me. I walked to my bed and removed my hoodie, leaving me on the T-shirt and trousers. I sat on the bed and cried silently. I didn't want Emily waking up to see me sob or hear me whimper so I remained as quiet as possible. I can't be weak, even if I already was. Everything felt crazy, I didn't want to be here. I only wanted a means of livelihood to help my parents get out of this mess and just provide for the family. Sky asking me to rob a strange man was the height of it. I didn't sign up for that and I didn't want to get myself involved in anything in that manner. I heard how drug dealing involved other things and I promised myself I was going to stay clean. I was only going to get deals, sell, get the cash and start the circle again. I scoffed and wiped the tears that welled in my eyes. They were hot and painful, filled with regret and guilt

The next Monday, I submitted my script to the professor and walked out of the class. I was happy to hear it was only three papers left. The exam was restraining me and I hated it. I shoved my phone out of my pocket and saw Sky's text. He needed me to call him as soon as possible but I couldn't call him in the hallway so I walked to the restroom. I pushed open the first door and dialed his number. He didn't pick I called again till it rang three times and stopped. "Damn you," I huffed. I turned to my sides and saw those kids again. The guys I sold crack to the first time. They were looking uneasy and I could read the expression on their face. "I don't have anything on me guys," I said. "You should have told me earlier that you needed crack.""Can I have anyone at all?" "I'm serious Man, I don't have shit with me. I would let you know when I get a package." "How long would that be?" The other guy asked. "No idea but it wouldn't take l

It's crazy how the table got turned. I was the one avoiding Emily but now she was the one avoiding me. Making my confused life unbearable no matter how much I tried to hide it. Pfff! I hate feelings. I should have reasoned with Xavier years ago when he said 'The moment you catch feelings, the moment you get fucked'. Well, I am fucked! I sat at my desk trying to think of how to get her to talk to me. The closing bell already rang but I needed a moment to think. I stood up and grabbed my jacket and bag from the chair. I walked out of the class and headed to the hallway. When I got there, Emily wasn't there. I wondered where she would have gone. Emily was always quick to go home so whenever the bell rang she was always ready to leave. "Please no drama" I muffled "Please just not now". I stood there waiting for her but she wasn't showing up. I turned to the other side of the hallway and found her with James. A lump formed in my throat as I saw James pulling