“Does it really make you sad?” I asked amused and she unhooked our arms and pinched my cheeks.“Yes! No one should ever grow up alone, and you care so much about everyone, even Willow,” she gagged and I laughed. “That it hurts me to see you so lonely, I want to crush the person's head who left you alone,” she said as her fist met her open hand. “I’m really glad you met Frank because then I wouldn’t have met you,” she said, hugging me.“Don’t you mean Miall?”“Nobody cares about that man, now let’s go!” Eventually, we did reach the bar despite almost getting lost so many times as if she knew where his bar was.We pulled the doors open and it was packed…with gays? What happened to this bar? Anin and I laughed as we pushed through the people, oh my gosh, what is happening? There was a raised platform with a pole right in the middle and they were dancing so exotically, I had no words but all I could do was laugh and cheer along with all the other people.We finally made it to the bar and I

I will admit, I regret returning to Nioz, and no, it isn’t because of Miall but because of Nyleve! “Sit up straight,” she scolded again for the third time today. Yes, that’s right. I am in training on how to become a Luna, and I HATE IT! I’ve only eaten twice today, and it’s only 11 a.m. I am starving! We were currently at a woman-only gathering and were the stories, not saucy? Who would've thought that even mates would complain so much about their partners? I used to think (according to earth books) that wolves were insatiable but here go these women saying their men ain’t performing in bed anymore, girl! How sad really, well it’s not as if I’m any better cause I have been very celibate since I got here, and it seems I will be until the end of time. They weren’t only talking about things under the sheets, but they were also going on about how much more authoritative roles they wanted to have in the community and I agreed wholeheartedly, that uplifting women was a priority for me a

This was getting tiring, I felt so restless, and my heart kept beating violently against my chest. Tossing the blankets off my body, I groaned as I stomped my way into his bedroom. He laid on his back with one arm underneath his head as he stared up silently, what is he thinking about so hard? “What’s wrong?” He uttered so quietly that I almost didn’t get it. Have I annoyed him already? “No, you haven’t,” he said, looking at me and I froze in my stance, ooh butterflies. “Well, it wouldn’t matter either way,” I lied knowing damn well he knew that I cared. “Are you mad?” I asked, crossing my arms. “At what?” “The fact that I told you not to go after your girlfriend,” I tried to sound so sure about what I said, but I wasn’t about to offer him the opportunity to say that he’s mad at me. “No,” he said, simply leaving me confused; if he were lying, I would see it. “So, are you mad at me?” I pointed to my chest and he chuckled, shaking his head. “No, I am not mad at you or the fact I

Training was the centre of all peace. For once in a long time, I felt as if I wasn't confused and knew exactly what it was that I wanted to do. It was as if everything had disappeared and being alpha or Miall didn't matter, being alive felt easier. However, it was hard to not shift during this kind of training, everything was easier and quicker if I had shifted but that was the whole purpose of this training, to see how long we could hold out on shifting, and Malakhi wasn't making it easy. Yes, I'm alpha and can hold my ground, but Malakhi is very competitive when it comes to such things, and Amanah cheering him on right now isn't really helping. I had diminished the sense of peace the minute Amanah came with her cheer squad, saying that it would motivate us to train harder since males liked showing off. I'm not saying that Amanah ticks me off, but her only supporting Malakhi is ticking me off. How she says his name so loudly and cheerfully pushes me closer and closer to the edge.

Ever since I loudly confessed to Miall how much I wanted him, I'm ashamed to admit that I have been avoiding him for quite some time now. Yes, I do talk to him but I can never be in the same space with him for too long. I always just feel as if he'll bring it up and just reject me again. That's why it's better for me to self-reject; that way, I will avoid any type of hurt that may come from him, and I will be just okay. I should really stop being so confident in times I certainly get the urge to be confident, because then I go around talking shit about how I'm obsessed with him. He probably thinks my life now revolves around him. In all honesty, it does, but I don't need him knowing to what extent. I looked up at the clock on the wall, and he isn't up yet. Another strategy of mine when it comes to avoiding Miall is waiting for him to go to his training sessions or sometimes meetings with his mom. Now that I'm in training to become Luna, and half of all of my time I'm with Nyleve,