Lahat ng Kabanata ng A Thousand Lies: Kabanata 31 - Kabanata 40

Temperance Anxiety. My anxiety can go from one to ten in a matter of seconds. One minute I can be fine. The next, I'm on the ground shaking, trying to get the oxygen into my lungs. Anxiety is like a monster. It's a monster that doesn't go away. It's a monster that attacks you whenever it wants because it doesn't care about what you think. I say I need to go to the restroom for stomach problems. It's not the stomach problems everyone is thinking about. It's the anxiety making my stomach churn. Making me fall to the ground holding my stomach while I break out into a cold sweat, rocking back and forth on the ground. My heart feels like it's going to burst... it's all I worry about. Wondering if it's going to explode inside my chest and kill me slowly because it's beating so fast. Because it hurts so much. It's the thing that causes me to lose my breath and causes me not to form a simple word. It could be wonderful. Then the anxiety knocks on my door. I stay quiet, so it won't kno

Temperance Excitement fills my body as soon as Alec comes into view. He couldn't take me to school this morning because of something that happened with his gang. I had to walk to school. I jump in his arms, and he holds me tightly. Several people stare at us, their eyes filled with judgment. He places my feet firmly on the ground, his hands cupping my cheeks. "Did they hurt you? Are you ok? What's been happening?" His eyes are filled with worry. "I-I'm fine. Don't worry." I haven't had any fists fly at me yet but my mental health is something to worry about. Panic attacks are frequent and when they aren't happening I'm laying down staring into space. I can't do anything about it, though. I can't tell him. Or really anyone. Maybe one day I'll be able to get a therapist or something like that. I can't imagine myself opening up to someone who could judge me though. If I got a therapist they would think I'm disgusting from things that have happened to me. He hands me a backpack

Temperance "No offense but what kind of name is Temperance? I mean it's pretty... it's just odd." A body appears next to me, bumping their shoulder into mine. With furrowed brows, I look up at the culprit who has ruined my focus on keeping myself from wobbling. A girl stands beside me, she's tall so she looks down at me. She gives me a small smile, not making any effort to get out of my bubble. It's my first day at this damned school and I already have someone bothering me. "How do you know my name?" I question, not remembering her face from either of my first classes. "My friend shares the first block with you." She tilts her head, moving a hair out of my face. I pull my head back, my back hitting the lockers behind me. I wince in pain as her arms extend for me, ready to yank me away from the lockers. "Are you ok?" She asks me as I swat her hand away from me. "Why are you talking to me so early? Can't you see I'm upset by your presence?" I can't help my outburst, the irritatio

TemperanceI sit at my usual desk at school, in the back. And wait for the teacher. I adjust in my seat as the teacher walks in with a stack of papers.With a sigh I lay my head down on my desk, closing my tired eyes."Alright, class. So some exciting news. The school will be taking a weekend-long field trip. Partnering with two other school districts." I listen to Mrs. Trevors go on about a trip I probably won't go on.I lift my head back up like a sheet of paper lands on my desk.The info for the field trip and the signatures.Fairview high school is proud to announce that we will be hosting a field trip with our two partnering school districts, Riverblossom high school, and Westring high school.My heart drops as the form mentions my old high school, Riverblossom.Where all my friends are. Where Alec is.I will have to avoid him. I can't get caught up with him again. I can't get caught up with ANY of them.My heart wrenches thinking of them. Thinking of not talking to them. Having

Temperance Once we got to the resort, everyone put on their coats, scarves, beanies, or whatever they had. The teachers push us all off the bus and into the freezing snow. We are forced to stay in place as our teachers conduct a head count. I shiver and put my gloved hands on my nose to keep my face partially warm. I look around. Everything is covered in snow. Great. I hate the cold. I stand in front of the resort, taken aback by how big it looks. It looks WARM. Then without warning, the teachers usher us into the building we will be staying in. I look around. It is beautiful. It is fancy. It is so warm. But it isn't just my school. No. There are two other schools already here. My eyes widen in fear that everyone I once knew could be here, watching me. I make my way to Chris and Kenli, who happen to be standing together. Many people push around me to get to various places.I look at my cousins frantically. They look at each other, then back at me in confusion. Chris grabs my hand