At what point can I stop counting these rendezvous with Gabe as just casual dates? I wondered. Seems like we’ve had at least five so far. Are we actually dating yet?Gabe was still asleep in his bed, but I had been awake for a while, just relaxing and enjoying the quiet morning in his beautiful house. I had made myself some coffee and a bagel, which I ate out in the living room while casually surfing the Internet and checking on my blog. I was surprised to see how much traffic my website had been getting ever since I started posting about my relationship with Gabe. It seemed that there were plenty of people out there who liked reading about good dates and not just nightmarish ones.After finishing my coffee, I set my laptop down onto the end table and walked over to open the patio door at the back of his house. From where I stood, I could see the ocean stretched out in front of me. Seagulls flew near the beach, their sounds filling me with nostalgia from a life of growing up near the

After storming out of Gabe’s office, I went back to the bedroom and got dressed as quickly as possible. I was teeming with emotion, but I didn’t want to let out a single sob. I could save that for later, when I could enjoy a pint if ice cream and a few days of binge watching my favorite TV show. But for now, I needed to keep it together and act tough.So once I was dressed, I gathered my makeup from his countertop in his bathroom and tossed everything into my overnight bag. To think, I was considering what it would be like to spend my life with the guy and now I was doing everything possible to speed up the process of leaving his house for good.I can’t believe this. I should have known that it would only be a matter of time before something like this would happen to me, I thought. Why did I fool myself into thinking I could actually meet a decent guy?I zipped up my bag and tossed it over my shoulder. Before leaving the bedroom, I took one last look at the bed, where the blankets wer

Well, the time has come. Every beginning has an end, and my relationship has found its end. Two weeks ago, Mr. Perfect Match and I broke up and it is time for the corresponding blog post (because blogging about breakups is the best way to move on, right??)It’s not the typical kind of post I’m used to writing. My life is filled with many more bad dates than bad breakups, and maybe that’s a good thing. But it also means that I’m entering new territory without the right map to guide me. They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have lovedI stopped writing and glared at the screen. I highlighted the last sentence and hit delete as if the force of my click would hurt the words as they left the page. Love. It was like a bad word, something I had been conditioned not to say. And Gabe deserved no exception, even if it would appease an old stupid cliché about breakups.After a few moments of contemplation I picked up again where I left off.Time is a weird thing. It has the a

I sat down at my computer and clicked on the Internet. It was always the first step in starting a new blog post and I could almost feel the writer’s block start to set in as a blank window popped up on the screen and began loading.It had been just over two months since the breakup and about a month and a half since I had introduced Brian.Brian was a tall guy with a toned body, dark hair and eyes bluer than an open sky on a summer’s day. He was funny, smart, a hard worker in his career as a physical trainer, a huge sports fan and… completely fake.I had decided to create Brian in order to appease my Mother and to use as a marketing tool for the blog. After my readers had obsessed over my relationship with Gabe, Brian was designed to be Gabe 2.0 and to carry the burden of a new and passionate relationship. And completely fabricating a fake relationship was much easier than actually getting consumed by one.Brian took me on elaborate dates to all the exciting places around town without

I had been fairly sure that I would never see the inside of Gabe's house ever again, but now I was standing on the deck watching the ocean once more. Not that I was complaining, though. I was happy to be there. In fact, the view of the ocean with the sun overhead never looked so good.“I’m glad you came over today. We need to talk. I’m ready to work through this and make things right again. But first, we both have to come clean with each other,” Gabe said, leaning against the railing of his deck.“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” I agreed. My palms were sweating, but I felt calmer than I had in weeks.His surprise visit at the restaurant had happened just the night before and this was the first time we had really had a chance to hash things out. This conversation needed to happen. It had been a long time coming.“Where should we start?” he asked. The breeze from the ocean ruffled his dark hair.“I guess what I really don’t understand is why you hid it from me?” I asked, starting th