ALEXANDER Sex with him is terrific. And so is everything else about him. This past week has been amazing. Sleeping and waking up next to Christian has this ring that feels like happiness. Something I long for so badly and now that it's within my reach I am terrified. ****“Whatever decision you make, I will respect it. " Chris mumbled as we drove home from the airport. I took his lips for a short kiss, savoring the feeling. “ I want you, Chris,” “ I know, but not in the way I want you," Chris argued. I opened my mouth to counter his remark, but he went on quickly, “you are afraid of commitments, Alex, and I want commitment.”“I am committed to you, Chris… and faithful… I don't see why we need labels to prove that.” Chris withdrew his hands and plunged them between his legs and faced forward. “ I am sorry,” he mumbled heavily, and I knew tears were bound to follow. I scooted closer and grabbed him, he tried to resist but eventually, he sagged against my weight. I just held him q

Two years later...ALEXANDER I scattered tiny kisses along his jaw, past his neck, enjoying the moans that were pouring out of his mouth. He was holding on to me tightly with his legs wrapped around my waist. I stopped my assaults briefly and looked at his flushed face. He looked adorable, like my wet dream came true. I still couldn't believe how lucky I got to call this beautiful boy mine.I got off him and pulled him to sit on my lap, and automatically he brought his hands around my neck. I took his left hand and gazed lovingly at his engagement ring. Yes, I grew some balls and proposed to him six months ago. We are supposed to wed in a month and I can't wait. “ We have to leave baby, Elizabeth is waiting for us. " I offered. “Ugh," he groaned. “ I don't want to leave this bed. "“That makes two of us," I whispered, caressing his face. “ But we have to, it's your birthday. " As far as Chris knows, Elizabeth just wants to have dinner with him, but he will be surprised with a par

I woke up earlier than my husband. He was still snoring his life away, but I had barely slept last night. Today we are supposed to be bringing our firstborn through surrogacy home. It's a baby girl, and we have named her Rita. I can't quite explain why now, but I am terrified. Yes, I have been pushing Alexander to have a baby, and yes, I want nothing more than to raise our daughter with my loving husband. And yes, I love our little girl already. But there is a what-if at the back of my mind I can't seem to ignore. What if I become an asshole of a father like my old man? Or if Alexander takes his old man's demons? What then? What will happen to our precious little girl? None of us knows what a model father should look, and that scares the living daylights out of me. Perhaps I wasn't ready for a family like I had thought. I exhaled deeply, dropping my head on the kitchen table with a groan. It was already too late to change my mind. “Baby?” I heard my husband's voice call from the stai