Mag-iisang linggo na din akong nandito sa pamamahay ni Elijah. At kahit nga nakakapagod ang trabaho ko sa opisina ay akalain mong mamimiss ko rin pala ito ng sobra. Bagot na bagot na ako sa paulit ulit na panonood ng movie, paghiga-higa maghapon at nalinis ko na rin yata maski ang kasuluk-sulukan ng pamamahay ni Eli. Hindi bale, dalawang araw nalang naman at papasok na akong muli sa trabaho. Kahit nakakabwisit si Kairus ay akalain mo nakaka-miss din pala ang mokong na 'yon. But all in all, I was doing really fine habang nandito ako sa pangangalaga ni Eli. Akala ko noong una ay sobrang mahihirapan akong mag-adjust pero mali ako. Again, Elijah made sure that I'll be living comfortably here in his home, he made sure he's always there to check up on me from time to time. Kahit pa nga minsan ay busy siya sa trabaho niya ay nagagawa pa rin niyang maglaan ng oras para samahan ako sa mga kailangan kong gawin, kagaya na lamang ng pagpunta sa clinic para sa aking therapy for my PTSD. Though I'm

Sunday afternoon.“Are you really sure you’re okay going back to work?” tanong ulit ni Kairus. We were having a video call. Umismid naman ako at tinapunan siya ng tingin habang nagtitiklop ng aking mga damit. “Okay na nga ako Kai.” pagdidiin ko pa.“I don’t believe you. I can always talk to our boss to give you a few weeks more,” he offered again. Again, I rolled my eyes. “Thank you Kai, but I need to get back to work. I have bills to pay, nakakahiya na kay Elijah.” sabi ko pa.I heard him scoff kaya naman sinamaan ko siya ulit ng tingin. “For all I know, your best friend doesn’t mind having you there in his home.” “He sure doesn’t mind it at all but my pride says no.” I said as I walked back to the table and settled myself in front of my laptop.I smiled when I saw how Kairus’ face changed when I sat back and focused on him. He was outside, probably hanging out. Spending his day off in a cafe by the look of his background.“If you say so,” he muttered, “Anyway, I’ll send you l

“Come in,” And we both walked ahead inside his spacious studio. Again, it felt illegal to be in here. The feeling was strange and undescribable. Aaminin ko, ilang beses pa lamang akong nakapunta dito pero sa ilang beses na iyon ay hindi ko pa rin maiwasan na hindi mamangha tuwing tatapak ang paa ko sa lugar na ito. This place was too special for Elijah. This is where his magic happens. His personal space. A place where he can be true to himself. And to think that he let me in this space sends a different feeling to me.I don’t know why, but it felt illegal. I felt different. It’s as if I’m looking and entering the different side of him. It feels like I’m into another world. A world where the only thing you can only breathe in was his burning passion for arts. I felt like every piece of art inside this place is equal to tiny bits of himself. Because Elijah himself is a walking art.Every corner of this place screams his personality. The neutral color of this place shouts his name. Wh

Three days..Three days after that steamy makeout back in Elijah's studio, everything went back to normal. Hindi ko malilimutan kung paano ako inulan ng tukso ni Kairus nang makita niya ang purple marks sa aking leeg nang pumasok ako kinabukasan sa trabaho.Elijah and I made a decent talk after that makeout session. We cleared out the thick air between us the moment we sat back in his car that night. Nilinaw namin ang sitwasyon. Ofcourse nandoon na yung pag-aalala niya na baka nabastos niya ako dahil hindi siya nakapagpigil ng sarili. But I made it clear to him that, I let that happen because I want it to happen. We both wanted it that time. No hard feelings. And that's what I really liked about Elijah. How we can talk about certain matters like a real adult. How we solved every issues together, how we can sit and talk about the problem and deal with it like the adults that we were. —-----Today is December 23. My fucking birthday. It was already 6 pm when I arrived at Elijah's

My lips keep on twitching as I keep shifting on my seat every now and then. Elijah and I were both silent ever since we started eating lunch.Deep sighs were also heard between me and him. Alam kong pareho kaming may malalim na iniisip ngunit tila hindi kami pareho ng iniisip. Obviously, I am in deep discomfort while Elijah seems to be happy and relaxed. Nanatiling nakababa ang ulo ko at tahimik na nagfofocus sa tanghalian na niluto niya. I can’t seem to have the courage to look back at him despite the stares thrown at me by none other than Elijah himself. Hanggang ngayon ramdam ko pa din ang pag-iinit ng mukha ko at naiinis na din ako dahil tila ayaw humupa sa pamumula ang aking pisngi. I’m gulping hard down the food para lamang matapos na ako kaagad sa pagkain at makaalis na sa harapan ni Elijah. But then mukhang hindi pa siya tapos sa pang-aasar sa akin. I heard the clinking sound of his spoon against his plate followed by his loud huff. “Hey, stop ignoring me.” he demanded. A