I did a crazy thing this Tuesday morning just to be two steps ahead of the game. I ate not one plate of breakfast, but two. I smashed pancakes, bacon, egg and French toast. They were all laid out, but the strange part of being in the main house is that I eat alone. Which in some ways is good, I don’t have to be shy about what I’d put on my plate but was also kind of lonely.Being alone while I ate reminded me that I was here alone. I tried to shake it off and laughed at the idea of what was waiting for me today.I would be one step ahead of the fucking game. I decided that, at lunchtime, I wouldn’t even get in the line. I wouldn’t wait. I wouldn’t torture myself with the idea that the food that was in front of me, would reach my lips and stay there. Just like my first day here, it went in and swiftly came out, at the same speed that I digested it after wearing clothes that were a few sizes too small, thanks to Claire. Comical now, looking back. Not really!I’d eaten too much and ne

At last, a friend. Someone who spoke to me and it wasn’t Mr. Hawk and it wasn’t someone trying to bully me. I found out that I wasn’t the only new girl who started last week. There were two more of us. “You see. We’ve all been invited to this game,” she whispered as the rest of them left and we were alone at my lockers. The rest meaning both the Hawk twins and the girl that was enjoying making my life a living hell. It was as if the two new girls wanted to make sure that the coast was clear before they came to me. “What game?” I asked, totally lost after the way they ran up to me like a swarm of bees, telling me about being brave and telling me about Friday. “We can talk about that later.” She brushed my question aside. “So, I’m Goldie. This is Ruby and you’re Vicki, right? But it ends with an I and not a y.”A strange observation, but I nodded in response to her question. “We’ve been dying to talk to you. But we were worried about making our lives even worse than they already are

Wednesday morning dawned cold and rainy, much like the day I arrived. I thought back to that day as I dressed and braided my hair. I’d been so full of hope that day. I’d been afraid I wouldn’t fit in, and boy how right had I been about that! Too fucking right, I thought, as I picked up the bag that held my books and slung it over my shoulder. I didn’t fit in and my only friends were a girl that only talked to me because her daddy’s money couldn’t buy her popularity like it had at her old school, and a girl that turned into a robot at the merest hint of the word Friday. Not the most likely of people that I’d choose to hang around in my old life.I paused on my way out of the door as I thought of Ava and Teresa, back in Utah without me. They’d be meeting at the lockers, talking about what they’d missed in the fifteen minutes it took them to get to school, happy together. Without me.That thought stung me deeply, even though I knew it wasn’t their fault. My two best friends would move o

I woke up before my alarm went off on Thursday morning. It was another cloudy day outside, I noted as I crawled out of the bed and made my way to the bathroom. I took care of my bladder and then hopped in the shower. I had time, so I let the hot water wash over me. By the time I was dressed, and my hair was dried, I still had time to spare. I saw the envelope, the invitation to go to the gym tomorrow at midnight, and decided to stash it in my bag, where it would be safe. My fingers reached into the bag, and once again, I felt something furry. “What the fuck?” I cried out and threw the bag against my door. “Problem, Miss Harris?” I heard Mr. Hawk call from the other side of my door. What was he doing there? “There’s another rat in my bag, Mr. Hawk,” I called through the door, then realized how stupid that was. I pulled open the door and stared at him. “I thought you were going to do something about this? I don’t even understand how it’s not even bleeding.”Not that it made a differ

I walked to the gym with butterflies in my tummy and sweaty palms. The entire day had gone by in a blur and now I was going to meet my fate. Something told me that this night would change my entire life. I checked my phone and saw it was ten minutes to midnight. I ducked in and went straight to the girls’ bathroom. It was empty, thankfully, and I checked my makeup in the mirror. I wasn’t used to putting it on but thankfully the Internet was nearly entirely consumed by young people and adults insisting they were the only ones that could teach us all how to do our makeup. I’d followed one of the less layered on looks and highlighted what I could with color to make myself look…prettier.I’d curled my long dark hair and it now cascaded down my back over a light blue dress that I’d found in a second-hand shop with Mom last summer and I was happy that the material was stretchy so that I could still fit into it. I’d packed it in my bag, not knowing if I’d need it. It was more like a satiny