Sa pagtira ko rito sa Spain sa mga nagdaang linggo, kahit paano ay maayos naman ang buhay ko. Mom is now extra taking care of me. Alam ko na bumabawi siya sa akin. Nang makabangon ako mula sa paghiga ay agad ako nakaramdam ng hilo. Nanlalamig ang loob ng katawan ko. Sa bilis ng pangyayari ay nahanap ko na lang ang aking sarili sa banyo, nagsusuka. Ito na naman. Naulit na naman. Hindi lang ito ngayon nangyari sa akin. Ngayon ay balak ko nang magpa check-up kung ano ba itong nangyayari sa akin. It's always like this. Laging masama ang pakiramdam ko. And I once felt scared. Scared that maybe… I am sick. Hindi na normal ang nangyayari sa akin. "Buenos días, Doc." Nakangiti rin sa akin ang doktora at bumati pabalik. "So how are you feeling these days?" I sighed. Sinagot ko ang unang tanong niya. Marami pa siyang tanong na sinagot ko. Sa huling bitaw ko ng salita ay doon lang ako nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya. That's when I noticed her expression. Nakakunot ang kaniyang noo habang titi

“Mom?” Sirena’s call made me focus my attention on her. She took a glance at her brother who’s quietly eating. “Archer and I will not be going to school tomorrow,” panimula niya. Nangunot ang aking noo sa narinig. “And why is that, Sirena?” Nabaling ang tingin ko kay Archer na ngayon ay sa amin ang tingin, para bang naagaw ang kaniyang atensyon.“It’s because… there’s an event tomorrow with–”“Sirena,” mariin na tawag ni Archer sa kaniyang kapatid. Ayaw nitong ituloy ang sasabihin ng kakambal. “What is it, Sirena? Tell me,” I said in a serious tone. That made Archer look down like he surrendered from stopping her sister. “W-We are having an event tomorrow at school and should come… with a father.” Ramdam ko ang lungkot sa kaniyang huling salita. Para akong tinanggalan ng hininga sa sinabi nito. I felt my chest tightened at their sad faces. Nagbaba ako ng tingin dahil wala akong maibigay na sasabihin. This is not the first time they open up about this. Tinanong nila ako noon kung

“Mom, are you okay?” I nodded and smiled at Sirena. “Yes, baby. Don’t worry and enjoy your food.” “Mamá. You look bothered. Is everything alright?” nag-aalalang tanong ni Archer. Pagkatapos ng nangyari kanina. Hindi na ako makapante. I was worried. What if he saw me again? And this time with my kids? Will he tell it to him? Natakot ako sa nangyari. He saw me buying clothes for a little boy. I sighed and watched the two eat. Nawalan ako ng gana kumain. “Mommy. Are we going home na?” I nodded and started the engine of the car. “Yes, baby. I’m sorry. Babawi na lang ulit si Mommy. For now, we need to go home.” She nodded like a good girl. “Okay, Mom.” Nang makarating kami sa bahay, I tried to call Levi but I couldn’t reach him. Nagtungo ako sa room ni Archer. I saw him studying. He’s so focused on what he is doing. Parehong-pareho sila ng ama niya. Napailing ako at nilapitan siya. Niilingon niya ako at agad na inalis ang atensyon doon para ibaling sa akin.“I’m sorry, baby. We didn

Pabagsak akong napaupo sa kama at sinagot ang tawag ni Levi. "How are you, Sadie?" I sighed. "I'm fine…" I lied. "Really? I heard about what happened in the company. He was there, right? What did he do? Did he do something to you?" Sunod-sunod niyang tanong. I massage my temple and shut my eyes. Sumasakit na naman ang ulo ko. "Yes. He was there. And he didn't do anything wrong to me.""Really? Then why is he an investor?"Umirap ako. "I don't know, Levi. You should ask him that, not me." He scoffed. "Sinadya niya 'yan, Sadie. Para mapalapit ulit sa 'yo! Huwag kang magiging marupok d'yan, ah."I shook my head in disbelief. "We don't know that, Levi. Wala na tayong magagawa. Kakausapin ko pa si Mommy. Hindi ako makapaniwala na ginawa ni Mommy 'yon." "Me too. Alam niya naman ang nangyari. But anyways, talk to her. Just call me if anything happens, okay?" "Yes. Thank you. Bye." Hindi ko na pinatagal at tinawagan si Mommy. Hindi siya sumasagot kaya ang sekretarya niya ang tinawaga

Nang umalis siya, hindi ko alam ang gagawin kung hihintayin ba siya o hindi. I heard my phone ring. I answered Elena’s call. She’s already looking for me so I have no choice but to go there already. Nagbaba ang aking tingin sa maputing buhangin. Inalis ko ang slippers ko at hinawakan iyon para madama ang buhangin. I smiled when I felt the sand relaxing. I wish I could take a picture of the beautiful sea and send it to my babies, but my phone is not with me. “Sadie! Here!” Elena’s voice. Lumapit ako sa kanila. Hindi niya kasama ang asawa niya. She’s with her friends I guess. Ang iba roon ay same age sa akin. Hinila niya ako papalapit sa mga babae na kasama niya. The girls seem friendly. They’re smiling at me as they welcomed me. I looked at the lights above me. Ang daming ilaw sa paligid na bagay sa vibe ng dagat. It’s already sunset. They are busy talking so I thought of walking to the seashore. Walang tao roon dahil nagtipon silang lahat dito. The hem of my dress danced because of