Being pregnant again?I didn't even want to have hope in that...In fact, being the owner of my body, I didn't of course miss such detail like me "praying for a long time", which is something very predicted and familiar ever since I lost my child and had many complications afterward, to be precise, it's not even as long as his wishful mind is picturing, But how can Hamza with the so little of medical knowledge that he has to understand the condition I have without having a proper explanation from my behalf, and how can I possibly explain this sad part to him without making him feel guilty and blame himself all over again?While watching the excitement in his eyes which he struggled in vain to hide behind his calm and composed expression, I thought it was cruel of me to personally crush the little hope he had, so instead of saying, "Oh, I'm probably just late because it's a side effect of the medications I'm taking, or for another reason that is not related to pregnancy."I nervously r

When I woke up the following morning, I found Hamza lying deep asleep beside me, remembering he probably spent the whole night awake I preferred not to wake him up.I made sure not to make any noise while I washed up and changed my clothes, then I carefully tiptoed on my way out of the room.But once I was out, I realized the situation was rather chaotic outside of our calm room.For example, the first servant I met immediately ran towards me the moment our eyes met and she said, "Good morning master lady! I hope you're doing better today, Miss Filladi is in her room now and she asked us to inform her once you are awake, should I do that now?"Another servant soon walked towards us both from the direction of the stairs, and right following her colleague she said:"Masterlady, Mrs. Filladi has been calling repeatedly and asking to speak urgently with either master Hamza or you, should we call her back?"I barely had time to listen to them both when a third servant who appeared out of t

Hamza developed a new habit, of being extra rude to people.This man is, with no exaggeration whatsoever, one of the least sociable of people I ever met, for example once when we visited a certain farm with his family, and we found a lot of guests there, it was only natural and awaited from us to blend in among the rest of the guests.Still, this very arrogant person only spoke with a limited list of people, and it was mainly to them that I was introduced, as for the rest of the guests who by the way were overly welcoming, they were facelessly ignored.At first, I thought Hamza is one of those people who treat others according to their class and money, which is indirectly offending to me because I'm not someone who was born in a castle, it was inevitable to think "what if this man didn't blindly fall for me, would I be belittled and ignored this way?".But as I walked more around in his company I finally realized the people he spoke with belonged to only 2 categories,1- his business

Spending time at the hospital alone for the majority of the time was truly a chance for me to appreciate all I had.Of course, there were always nurses by my side and doctors... The family visited as well, even my mother-in-law put on her most elegant of clothes and jewelry and then came to visit me, since no outsider knew about my pregnancy the possibility of her coming to see me only to put a facade in front of her acquaintances was disqualified, in fact, by coming to see me she was, on the contrary creating trouble for herself if she were ever to be caught by someone she knew, yet she made all the effort only to stand at the top of my head and scald me, "Did you have to fight with your husband while being pregnant and send your self to the hospital? I understand your temper is very short but you have to be more patient now! If you two can't stay in the same room without quarreling then you should have occupied separate rooms! Etc."Even my father-in-law decided to put an end to his

How does it feel to know that your son won't probably come to life?Let's just skip this part and more practically ask, What to do to cope with the fact you know your son won't probably come to life?1- at all costs, avoid looking at baby products...Because their sight will unnecessarily break your heart to pieces, and bring tears to your eyes, so if for example you were randomly watching TV and diaper ads suddenly jumped on the screen from nowhere then you have to immediately change the channel or turn the TV off, if you have your husband sitting with you then you can depend on him in catching the remote control in the speed of light and using it to make the ad disappear, because usually when such sad ads show up... Your pregnancy hormones act quicker than your reflexes and you might need the help of someone else because you'll be busy having your heart aching.I'm someone who is a TV addict, by TV addict I precisely mean that I don't necessarily like watching a certain category of