Mercifully Edmunds kept his inspection of me is short. I lay completely still, my hands clamped together across my stomach. My eyes were fixed on the ceiling, the cornicing and ornate fixtures of the room burned into my memory. Lifting my nightgown up and peering between my legs I conceal a shudder."Bred. Good. I shall see you in the morning.""Yes Your Grace," I answered stiffly, the delirious loosening of my body and soul has been undone. Fitz declaring he should not have kissed me left me shaken. I wanted both of them removed as soon as possible.Fitz left with Edmund without saying another word leaving me endure another night of frustration. Hot tears threatened to spill down my cheeks but I angrily wiped them away. Neither Fitz or Edmund deserve my emotions. I have misunderstood Fitz entirely. Any tenderness I thought of as his true nature, I now saw as a mask. His mocking, teasing ways were his true nature. The apple on his tongue, so surprisingly delicious, confirmed that fa

As he lavished kisses on my neck a melting sensation overtook me. I had read about blood lust, soldiers losing control of themselves in the heat of battle. It cannot possibly be love but a force stronger than I could comprehend was driving me. Lust. I am a slave to lust, like the sermons and texts I read young girl constantly warned me of."We should stop," Fitz whispered into my neck. His words formed on my skin, his teeth scraping the soft edges of my collarbone as he continued to give my world colour. "I don't want to, Fitz, I want more," pulling at his hand, my fingers in his hair to try and keep his body close to mine.The stiffness in his breeches was now firmly pressed up around my back bone he let out his own deep sigh onto my skin."What do you need to know?" Still facing away from him, avoiding those mercurial green eyes made such conversation easier. "I want the truth. Why are you doing this? Do I make you feel anything or am I just losing my mind?"“That is a lot of quest

Money.It was all for money. Every few seconds from the moment I left, to greeting Marie early in the morning the moment he shattered my faith repeated itself. It is what made me request Marie lace my corset so vigorously this morning. To keep me from falling apart I need holding together via other means.The more I thought about it the angrier I became. However it does not remove the fact that Edmund will destroy my reputation if I do not produce an heir.I breakfasted with Edmund, my tiredness causing my usual quiet reserve to fail. As he crunched his toast, slurped his tea and ignored me I surveyed our opulent scene. How much money did Fitz need?.The silverware, porcelain and other delicacies in this dining room alone were worth hundreds of pounds. A doctor, such as Doctor Farrers with his private clients could expect two hundred pounds a year, a stablehand perhaps twenty. What was Fitz’s price for this deal?"Something fascinating about the fruit bowl today?" Edmund quipped, smi

Marie chided me that evening. My ribcage was covered in red, painful blisters where the boning had rubbed. “I believe you were correct, I owe you an apology,” I winced as she applied a stinging salve. Edmund had not requested my presence at dinner, he was eating in his study, consumed with estate matters.In agitation I dined alone in my bedroom, attempting to read some books whilst wrapped in my nightgown and silk robe. My yawns and cat-like languishing on the chaise-longue giving the impression I was ready for an early night. Yet I watched the gilded clock on the mantelpiece like a cat chasing a mouse. As each hour ached by, my mind grew more feverish.The idea that Fitz wanted to protect me, to not vanish from my life meant so much more than I had expected it to. Since my wedding three years ago I had only lost acquaintances, not gained. My sister Kitty who I had once been so close to was fast becoming a stranger. I need this season in London to rebuild these bridges in my life. M

** FITZ POV **Sitting in his tobacco soaked study, clutching a glass of brandy is the absolute last place on earth I want to be. Huge bookshelves crammed with leather tomes, dark red velvet curtains and leather seats remind me of the gentleman’s clubs in London. I was not a member of any such establishment, though I was often required to haul my brother away from them in times gone by.The Duke of Tarrick repulses me in every way. He is dressed in such finery, surrounded by opulence and received the finest education and tutelage in the country. Yet, once amongst men he seems to regress. From a gentleman to a toad. His flimsy frail frame drowns in his tailored waistcoats and shirts. Weight is dropping from him, his hands shake and I hear when his back spasms the cries can be heard across the entirety of Tarrick Hall. His green eyes peering through his head of greying hair are the only thing stopping him looking like a withered rat in my eyes.“Thorough!” he chuckled to himself, “that