What if We Drown 의 모든 챕터: 챕터 21 - 챕터 30
109 챕터
21
The scent of lime and cream tickled Ashlyn's senses as she shifted the dish in her hands and knocked three times on the apartment door. Her current mood both amused and shocked her.The day progressed slowly while she bided her time, eagerly anticipating this dinner with Kass and Derek. She'd even finished work early so she could head home and make her grandmother's famous Key Lime Pie for dessert. But now that she stood outside his apartment at precisely 6:30 pm, as requested, Ashlyn could sense the doubts beginning to creep back in again. Butterflies took flight in her stomach, their flapping creating a tornado within her gut. If he didn't open the door soon, she was sure to lose her lunch all over the pie.Ashlyn took a couple of deep, calming breaths as the back of her neck broke out in a sweat. She could do this. It was just one harmless dinner to say thank you. Derek was a good person, and Kass would be there to keep anything from getting too uncomfortable. You can do it, Ash.
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Show up on time and stop you from getting all cozy together in the kitchen? Kass signed, tossing Ashlyn a cheeky wink. I think not. Ashlyn's eyes widened, and she took a step away from Derek, which only made Kass laugh.Shaking her head with a grin, Ashlyn pointed at Kass, the knife still in hand. She was presumptuous. And reading far too much into all of this. "So, what's cooking good looking?" Kass slid on to one of the bar stools.Kass! The carrot rolled out from beneath the knife, the blade slicing into the chopping board.What? You know I was referring to you, Kass signed, finishing with a cheeky peck on Ashlyn's cheek. Ashlyn laughed."Lasagna. And you need to teach me some more of that," Derek answered with a curious smile, gesturing between the two of them and moving his hands in imitation of the sign language they'd been using. Ashlyn appreciated his willingness to learn, though she wasn't sure he'd want to know half of the things Kass said; the woman was mischievous.
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23
Ashlyn stood from the table and hurried towards the front door, guided by the sound of the laughter; his laughter. Was he really here? Or did her ears deceive her?"What are you doing here?" Kass' voice bounced with excitement as the person holding her likely moved. Ashlyn smiled in anticipation.Ashlyn pulled the door open as wide as it would go. Joy sparked within her on confirmation that it was, in fact, him: Zion. Her eyes took in that familiar mop of red sand hair, her ears twitching with the sound of his rumbling laughter. Centimeters from her, Zion stood, squeezing Kass against his chest, her legs swinging above the floorboards. When he lifted his head, and his eyes met hers, Ashlyn's heart warmed at the joy reflected in his expression. Sometimes she forgot just how much she missed him living nearby.Zion placed Kass down and stepped towards Ashlyn."Ash." He grinned, holding his arms wide open, an invitation. It only took a single blink before Ashlyn threw herself into his
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"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you home?" Kass asked as she hugged Ashlyn tightly."After all the cake I just ate, the walk will be good for me." Zion chuckled, patting his stomach to prove a point. Ashlyn noticed that her mother didn't say anything. In fact, she'd been quiet for most of the evening, and she felt partly to blame. Ashlyn wanted to ask if she was okay, to say something, but before she could, her mother bid her farewells and began her descent down the stairs. With a shared look of concern, Derek and Ashlyn followed behind.Standing on the bottom step, however, Ashlyn hesitated. Out beyond the door and across the street, the ocean was eerily still. The fresh spring breeze whispered across the surface in little ripples, and Ashlyn smiled. She could almost hear her Father's voice whispering in tandem with the wind, sharing his happy memories with the 'mermaids' that dwelled below, or so he'd taught her as a child.It had been a while since she'd last thought on
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Try as she might, Ashlyn couldn't find the words to answer. At least not the words he would accept. She shifted uncomfortably beside Zion, wishing she could burrow deeper into the blanket. She shouldn't have left the letter on the bench. It should have been discarded like the last six monthly letters she'd received, courtesy of her mother's recommendations. But in her rush to get to Derek's, she'd left the open mail on the counter. Not that she'd known Zion or her mother would be visiting.Her head whipped in Zion's direction, her back straightening. Mom. Had she seen the letter too? Zion shook his head no upon reading her expression."I threw it out before she could see." Ashlyn's shoulders relaxed. At least she didn't know.Zion bent one of his legs and drew it towards his chest. Leaning his arm against his knee, he shifted his weight to focus his gaze on Ashlyn."Why did you stop going, Ash?" Against the darkened sky, she could still make out the concern in his expression b
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Ashlyn shook her head, courage pushing her on towards the truth."What do you mean, no? Of course you'd be safe here, with your family." Ashlyn could hear the irritation rising in her mother's voice. Ashlyn took a deep breath and let go of her mother's hand. Please, Lord, give me strength; she sent up a silent prayer.I couldn't come here because you suffocate me, mom. She opened her mouth to retaliate, but Ashlyn silenced her, gesturing in a circle, her fists coming together. I needed space to think and figure out how I was supposed to talk to you."I... I suffocate you? What are you talking about, Ashlyn?" Her tone was disbelieving, and Ashlyn noted an ounce of defensiveness. Just say it. You can do this, Ashlyn thought.I know you don't approve of me speaking in ASL, Ashlyn answered, her hand clenching twice before forming an L at the end. And it hurts. Every time that you look at me that way or imply that I'm broken. It hurts me, mom.Silence filled the room; the burden Ashly
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27
Bumper's breath smelt strongly of chicken and something else when he jumped up and trailed his tongue across Ashlyn's face. Laughing, Ashlyn tried to push the golden retriever away so she could enter the house, but he kept up his incessant grooming."Bumper, what are y—" Kass rounded the corner and came to a stop when she saw Ashlyn and Zion standing in the doorway. There were smudges of dirt on her face and pieces of grass in Kass' hair. It looked as though it had been an eventful morning on Bumper watch."It's about time you two got here." Kass rolled her eyes playfully in exaggeration, a bag of dog food in one hand, a dog leash in the other."Do you wanna go for a run, boy?" Zion asked, scratching Bumper behind the ears."Already done." Kass grinned, hanging the dog leash on the hook beside the door. "Got to keep our boy in shape for all the ladies." She winked. Kass then launched into a story about their time at the park earlier that morning and all the dogs that had followed
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28
Midday at the hospital on a Saturday was a disaster waiting to happen. Visitors moved carelessly about the confined spaces, talking over one another in the hope that their concerns would be heard. Doctors and nursing staff tried to maneuver around the waiting families, reading off of charts, and answering questions that arose.Someone stepped on Ashlyn's foot as she tried to squeeze past a group of ladies who were typing on their phones. She turned and moved her fist in a circular motion over her chest, an apology, but the culprit was already gone. She didn't have time to worry about it, however, as Zion reached back to grab her hand and pulled her from the crowd of people."That was chaotic." Zion chuckled. Ashlyn let his hand go to respond.I wonder why it's so busy, Ashlyn pondered, glancing over her shoulder, and almost tripping when the toe of her canvas shoe caught on the linoleum. Zion reached out to steady her before she could fall forward."Woah. Easy does it. Don't want
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"You two, stop flirting. We've got work to do." Kass clapped her hands twice, interrupting Derek and Zion's conversation about the basketball game the night before, and who they believed was the real MVP. Ashlyn giggled under her breath.Kass was in director mode, commanding everyone like marionette puppets, directing them this way and that. For the first hour, the spectacle had gone ahead as planned, but now it seemed some lines had crossed over, creating the unscripted chaos the boys now partook in."Marcus!" She growled, slapping his forearm. "Put down the damn balloon. El tonto!" Marcus let go of the gold balloon he'd been sucking on, and it flitted around the room, the helium from inside blowing it this way and that. Ashlyn ducked as it swept over her head. The men in the room erupted in a chorus of laughter, one more high pitched than the others.Kass, however, remained unimpressed as she walked over to the corner where Ashlyn stood, massaging her temples."It's so hard to
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For the rest of the trip, Ashlyn stole glances of the peace he wore, certain she'd never checked a wing mirror more than she did in that one short trip. Even with his eyes closed, the magic he commanded did not dwindle, the pull of his smile still as strong. With each secret glance, she was confident that the next time, she would not be capable of escaping its depths. By the time Ashlyn pulled up to the curb and parked in the loading zone, her heart was putty within her chest, his smile the hand that would mold it. She turned to Derek and bit her thumbnail, trying to figure out how she would tell him of the plan. His eyelids fluttered, and she had to glance away quickly before he caught her staring. Bumper pushed his head between them with anticipation; no doubt sensing Abel was nearby. "I'll wait here with Bumper. You go and find Abel." Derek smiled, relieving her from her nail-biting. Her heart fluttered. Ashlyn wore a smile of gratitude, hoping that it didn't betray the flutters
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