Thinking back, my graduation party had been the moment of truth. I moved out of Jenny's apartment that same weekend and had time alone where I did nothing but analyze my relationship with Gray over the past couple years. I'd forced myself to acknowledge Gray and I were really done. It was a painful realization, but I resigned myself to accept it, surrendered to the disappointment. When it hit me, my heart felt as though it had lost its ability to beat. It kept constricting but never released, painfully tightening in my chest. I missed him, and there was no joy left in my life. A whopping hole of blackness crept in. Gray took my desire to live. I wasn't suicidal; I was completely apathetic. I couldn't find the energy to wash my hair, had no yearning for company, no craving for food; I couldn't even be roused by drugs-Jenny had tried. Living on my own again, my friends allowed me time to grieve, initially, but after two months of doing nothing but going to work, Jenny and Lynn intervened

All of my friends had known about Gray getting engaged, but none of them wanted to be the one to share that tidbit with me. When I brought it up to Lynn and Jenny, they both indicated they knew, but were afraid of how I would take the news. They thought it would be easier for me to handle hearing it from Brett. I didn't ask Lynn about the timeframe for Gray leaving his wife. There's no way she couldn't have known, but at this point, it didn't matter. Starting an argument over something that took place three years ago wouldn't change any of it. And Gray wasn't worth losing a friend over. She'd proven herself time and again since then-I believed that was more important.It dawned on me how fragile my friends all believed I was. I guess in retrospect, that was what I had portrayed to them in the months after Gray and I split, but damn, that was a long time ago. I thought my progress had been as visible outwardly as it felt inwardly, but I guess sometimes it takes longer for other people

My fiancé left the room long before I finished getting dressed. Damn, he looked dashing in his tuxedo: impeccably groomed, not a single hair out of place, clean-shaven, and his eyes were bright as he told me he would meet me at the altar. Six months ago, when I'd gotten the call from Gray at the church, I'd never imagined I'd be here now. Chills ran across my skin as I swooned for the man whose last name I was about to take, and I thought about the journey that had gotten us here. I watched the door close behind him and prepared myself to meet my destiny. With one final glance in the mirror, I was pleased with my reflection. Lynn had shown me how to style my hair in a twisted formal up-do. Large, voluptuous curls hung conspicuously in random places softening the overall look, and little tendrils caressed my face in a delicate embrace. I kept the makeup light, highlighting my eyes and cheekbones, and finished my face with a natural matte lipstick. The dress he had picked out for me

It had been several hours since Brett left for the wedding. Gray's wife...fiancée...whatever she was now, had sent out invitations; she'd invited everyone at the distribution center. Brett felt obligated to go since he and Gray had worked together in management for years. He thought it was the right thing to do, and not showing up would send a negative impression to the rest of the staff. I didn't disagree, but I had wanted to go with him. But after talking to my counselor, I couldn't come up with a single productive reason for my presence. And in the end, it had been the right decision. Had I been in the church when he called, had he been able to physically reach me, things might have gone differently than they had. I didn't want to be with Gray, but I wasn't dumb enough to believe he didn't still have some weird power over me-just like I wasn't sure I could ever be near drugs again. Both were addictions, and both wreaked havoc on my life for far too many years.I replayed the phone

There weren't many people on the plane, but there could have been a massive horde, and I wouldn't have known it. I was asleep on Brett's shoulder before they pulled up the landing gear. I woke to the stewardess instructing me to put my seat upright and prepare for landing. Wiping the drool from my mouth, I gazed up at Brett to see the look of adoration he always showed me. Smiling, I acknowledged just how grateful I was that fate intervened with better plans than those I had for myself-I'd been given the perfect partner.The terminal was bustling with people. I couldn't help but notice the way women stared at Brett and glanced down to our intertwined hands. They didn't even try to mask the looks of disbelief as they scowled their judgment in my direction. I had no problem admitting, Brett and I did not look like a matched pair. Brett could've graced the cover of GQ, while I would've been better suited for Rolling Stone. He was breathtakingly beautiful with piercing-green eyes while I