Since last weekend, I haven't felt like myself at all. Getting through a day has been an incredibly strange experience for me, and I'm at a loss for how to improve my situation. I've been pushing myself to keep up with my schoolwork, but it's no longer providing any relief. The pressure is mounting because I have my first honors thesis presentation at school on Monday, and I'm deeply concerned that I won't be able to perform as well as I typically do. I've spent over two weeks preparing for this presentation, pouring my heart and soul into my research. I'm determined to do an outstanding job, and I hope that the review board will concur with my presentation and thesis. However, sleep has eluded me, and it feels as though my mind is in a perpetual state of turmoil. My body, too, has been aching since Saturday night. No one ever informs you of how physically draining it is to perform CPR for an extended period of time. On top of my regular swimming regimen, this has taken a toll

I longed for that kiss to bring me happiness. I constantly find myself daydreaming about him during quiet moments. Reflecting on our time together fills me with a sense of wonder, novelty, and enjoyment. It was the first time in my life that I truly understood why people my age enjoyed such encounters. It frustrated me that he didn't want to take our connection any further. Deep down, I knew it shouldn't progress, yet it did. Last night, our emotions were laid bare, and he couldn't retract his words, even if he wanted to. At least he admitted that his thoughts and emotions were conflicting. Mine were too, and I had to keep reminding myself to stay away from Kent. Getting close to him was not a wise choice, and I could savor our secret without guilt. Today marked my return to work. Fortunately, no one was around when I left, and Mark wasn't there to offer more advice. Last night, I refrained from talking to anyone and remained in my room. I was not skilled at deception, so I had to

"Are you available tonight?" I inquire as I enter the living room, where Mark and Kyle pause their N*****x show to respond. "Are you sure you're up for it?" Mark asks, looking unsure. "Because we can stay in if you'd prefer. You haven't really been in the mood to go out lately." "Well, that was when I believed I had caused someone's death," I reply, taking a seat in the corner chair. "If you guys aren't up for it, that's fine, but I'm ready to get back out there." Last night, when Kent and I kissed, my mind was still preoccupied with my thesis presentation, and I wasn't sure if going out was a good idea. However, I was tired of moping at home and craved some fun. "Well, I suppose we could go," Mark concedes with a shrug. "I'm in, Julianna," Kyle states confidently. "I'll join you unless Mark decides to be a downer." "I'm not being a downer," Mark retorts. "I just want to make sure you're up for it, Julianna." "I am. I'm tired of being cooped up at home. I want to have a good tim

Tonight, I feel like I'm in my element. Every fiber of my being seems to thrum with energy. After the trying week I've endured, the sheer joy of tonight almost feels surreal. But I yearned for this happiness, this sense of fun and liberation. Abby proved to be the perfect drinking companion, sharing my enthusiasm for dancing. Our moves might not have been impressive, but the sheer delight we found on the dance floor made it all worthwhile. "Let's grab some shots!" Abby beckons, and I nod in agreement. We rush back to the bar and order vodka shots, clinking our glasses together before downing them. I grimace slightly, feeling a shiver race down my spine, but I suppress the reaction as best as I can. "One more?" "We've already had about seven, should we really continue?" I inquire, and she responds with a nonchalant shrug. "Perhaps not, but let's indulge in one more," she pleads with clasped hands, and I relent. "Jäger?" "Sure, it's budget-friendly!" I confirm, and she leans in to s

I can't recall anything from the weekend. On Sunday, I stayed holed up in my room, dedicating the day to perfecting my project. I intentionally took the day off work to ensure I could focus. I knew I hadn't treated Kent well on Saturday. I had been intoxicated and had let out all my frustrations on him. I yearned for a return to the way things used to be. I enjoyed our conversations, and it bothered me that he was distant when I knew he could be different. Then there was Chase, and the whole situation was driving me insane. I couldn't fathom what I had done to make him kiss me like that. Last night, sleep eluded me as my mind swirled with worries and thoughts. I couldn't comprehend how guys were complicating my life, but they were. Back at home, I didn't have any guys interested in me, and I preferred it that way. Now, I had to navigate Kent, Chase, and even Dane. On top of that, I had to give a presentation about my thesis. I had no choice but to put them all on the backburner unt