Semua Bab My Alpha, My Hellfire: Bab 41 - Bab 50
90 Bab
41
Mila’s POVAfter he left me to rest in the morning, I didn’t do much.I went to the room he indicated and as soon as my eyes landed on the huge, super soft looking bed, a long yawn escaped me.I climbed into the bed and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was fast asleep. It was like a magic spell my body needed to give in to the five years of built up lack of sleep and tiredness from sleeping on the hard, cold ground all this time.It felt like minutes when a loud knock woke me up again.I sat up and looked at the window in disorientation. It was probably the afternoon, making me realize I slept so deeply, I lost track of time even though I told myself I was only going to have a short nap because I need to start exploring the pack house on my own and figure out where 300 was being locked up.I got up and walked towards the door, not knowing whether it was Ryan or someone else. The thought of a stranger made me a bit nervous but
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42
Ryan’s POVI was running like crazy with my heart up my throat from panic I am not usually used to feeling, even during the many battles I joined in on with Alec in his attempt to rid the world of rogues. I never felt this amount of dread as I did now at the thought of not finding her or losing her before I got the chance to help her heal.I can’t find Mila.I came back to my place an hour before dinner and have looked everywhere for her in my quarters but she wasn’t there. So I started searching the entire pack house looking for her, asking anyone if they saw her at all.“Calm down! You’re the one who told her she can wander around. She must be here somewhere” Sword tried to calm me down.“I didn’t want to make her think she’s a prisoner again but I didn’t expect her to really wander around on her own in an unknown place. I thought she’d be too reluctant because of her past! I shoul
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43
Mila’s POV“I do owe you Ryan. You paid a fortune of your money to get me out. I owe you my life, my freedom but….”“You don’t owe me anything Mila! You’re my mate” he said in a hard, emotional tone “If you’re doing this just for me…”“It’s not just for you. It’s for me, it’s for Tina too. It’s for all of us, believe me. I’ve thought about it after you left at noon. I will hate myself so much if after what you did, I turn my back and just leave without giving this a chance. You did something so….heart touching and admirable for me, something I know not everyone can do in the same situation. And it is because of that I want to try for real. Not just because I owe you, but because you proved you’re worth trying to heal for. I’m not really good at expressing myself Ryan, it’s been a long time since I was asked to explain my feelings
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44
Alec’s POVI groaned in agitation as I turned from sleeping on my stomach to resting on my back while my eyes fought hard to open up.I could tell and feel that I didn’t sleep as much as I wanted to. My muscles were still tired and my head was complaining through a fierce headache telling me that it wasn’t done resting yet.So why did I wake up?The damn bond.The girl was in distress. I could feel her struggling with something deep and painful. I don’t know why though. She was supposed to be out cold after all the chores she did last night.Finally my eyes complied and opened up. Everything was blurry at first but after several blinks, things started to get more clear.I buried my hand under the pillow next to me and pulled out my phone.I unlocked it and opened up the cell feed to see her.I spared the clock on the notification bar a second to check the time and stifled my yawn when I saw it was
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45
Alec’s POV “I will tell you in exchange for something” she bargained. “You’re in no position to make deals, slave” Maddox hissed at me “Stop calling her slave, dick!” I spared him a comment before shifting my focus back to her “I’ll stop when she calls me alpha Alec. Tit for tat” She pursed her lips “It’s just a simple, very harmless question” “Fine, Let’s hear it” I relented out of sheer curiosity to hear this so called harmless question of hers. “What’s today’s date?” I raised my eyebrows “Seriously?” “Do I look like I have any reason to joke with you?” she said coldly. I sighed not having a clue what the date has to do with any of this. She could have asked for something a lot more valuable than that, like I don’t know… clothes maybe? It’s bloody freezing down here! I raised my hand to check my smart watch and answered curtly “12th of December” She released a sigh and I felt a pang of sadness through the bond. “Have somewhere important to be today?” I asked mildly. “I
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46
Alec’s POVHer words kept repeating in my head, kept gnawing at me.For once I wasn’t angry at her, I was angry at myself, at being proven wrong and inadequate, and giving her a chance to hurt me again using my own mistakes against me.I should have been better. I should have worked harder to keep my pack safe and taken more responsibilities instead of depending on my brother to run things I didn’t like to deal with. I’m not saying my greater goal is irrelevant, but I should be capable of picking the fights I can win more thoroughly.“Hey, sorry for being late” Ryan said as he entered the dining room with his mate walking a step behind him.I was sitting at the head of the dining table waiting for them to join me for breakfast, while my mate’s words were running inside my head on repeat.Ryan told me briefly through the mind link last night that he wanted to make Mila a part of the pack in addition t
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47
Alec’s POV“Ouch, that must have hurt” Ryan said in surprise after I told him everything right to the moment she called me an inadequate failure, poor excuse for an alpha right to my face.“I’d be lying if I said no. You know how much I’m still messed up about that massacre, I’m probably never going to let that go for a very long time if not never. But that’s not the reason I hate her. Everything she said about that subject, she was right about. I hate her because she is claiming to know me as this very bad, cruel person that’s done her some great deal of pain that makes me deserve to die, and she won’t even justify her assumptions nor actions! She keeps disobeying me, insulting me, refusing to acknowledge any good thing I try to tell her or do for her, she keeps provoking me on purpose to make me lose control and prove herself right about me, and most of all, she won’t tell me who the hell she is! If yo
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Extra Info About The Last Chapter
About The Songs Hello! This is a note about the songs that Alec heard from Andrea. I wanted to put the lyrics so you could feel what Alec felt when he heard those words and really felt them in her voice, felt the pain, the agony, and her emotional struggles. He also felt how much she longs for love, warmth, and safety in other songs too. Putting them within the chapter would have made the chapter cost more just for reading song lyrics and that’s why I decided to put them within an author’s note. If you are really interested to read the words that touched Alec’s heart and made him hate her a little less, carry on reading and tell me what you think of them. Here are the songs: The first song she sang; the one she prepared for her audition, is called go easy on me by Adele. There ain’t no gold in this river That I’ve been washin’ my hands in forever I know there is hope in these waters But I can’t bring myself to swim When I am drowning in this silence Baby, let me in Go eas
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48
Mila’s POVI walked inside the vast training room with Ryan and instantly got hit with a wave of nostalgia from the time I used to spend hours in this place training for my future role to be a beta for my pack after my father retires.I was his only child and therefore, it was my legacy to carry on the torch after him. Being a woman doesn’t matter. Even though most betas are males, female betas work twice as hard to prove themselves worthy of that responsibility, and that’s what I was trying hard to achieve before we got attacked.To some point, being captured and overtaken proved I was not so worthy after all, and all those hours spent training didn’t matter as I still lost in the end.But here I am again, training with my beta mate, and if alpha Alec ever accepts his mate and I end up also accepting Ryan as mine, it will be my responsibility to protect her; the Luna, with my life. How can I protect her when I couldn’t even protect myself five years ago?“This time will be different.
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Alec’s POVI was still in my office listening to her sing from the old feed I saved earlier. I’ve been listening to those songs for far more than I am comfortable to admit.Her voice was soothing and addictive at the same time. Which is completely unreasonable considering how much of a pain in my ass she is being.My brother Adrian mind linked me while I was too absorbed in one of the songs “Hey Alec. I wanted to check in see how you’re doing with everything” he said gently.I paused the video and pulled out my airpods “Hey…. I am fine to some degree. She is being difficult. Not telling me what I want to know. Trying constantly to get under my skin and hurt me with her words and assumptions to get a reaction out of me, and I’m barely holding myself from giving her what she wants” I said calmly.“Understandable, considering she has some unknown score to settle with you. I’m not even going to ask if you hurt her because I know you would never do that, so I’m curious what your plan is ex
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