Before I met Fred, I had gotten involved with another man. I was in love. She was silly, and immature. He just took the opportunity to have someone to fuck with. I thought he had a different way of making love, but he didn't love me. He made me a bad person. Unable to break the ice in my heart, I could never love anyone. Feeling attracted, yes, that was easy. But loving... I thought I never knew the meaning of that word.Fred moved me as soon as our eyes met the first time we saw each other, his unusual tastes made me see in him a man who could give me a greater reason to be happy. Without chocolates and flowers. Not with all the luxury. All it was was enough for him. Did I love him too? I didn't know.I felt an electric current wandering through my body whenever it was around, but that was nothing in relation to the chills inside my belly or the acceleration of my heartbeat. He had me, but he wanted me to have him too. But I didn't feel worthy of it. I couldn't delude myself again. A

I woke up with the sunlight hitting my face hard. I had left the window open, without even knowing it. I got up lazily, adjusting my silk pajamas to my body. I had a strange dream last night, but I preferred not to think about it too much.I had slept well, despite everything. Even waking up a few times, with the impression that there was someone in my room. But it was normal, since I was in a new place. New, I mean, it was in my old apartment. With my friends, what could I fear?"Good morning. "I told Elizabeth that she was sinking on the couch having a cup of coffee."Good morning. You look better. Did you sleep well? "She smiled, fixing her beautiful blonde hair on top of her head.“ Yes. I missed it. "I got a cup of coffee for myself too.“you miss sleeping well?”"Almost that. "I stammered, taking a sip of coffee."Hm... and your boyfriend was also in the hospital with your mother?”"He's not my boyfriend. "I spoke harshly, biting a toast. "In fact, he was never my thing. Just a

The night had already arrived and had not received any response from Becca about the roses. Perhaps due to the lack of a note he could think that someone else would have sent him the gift, although those red roses have a meaning of their own for both of us. She said she liked the color red, brought her strength.She always said that her mother sent red flowers on her birthday, precisely because she knew she felt good about it. I felt the need to redeem myself in some way, his grudgeful words still invaded my mind, while I ate his favorite dish for dinner.In a strange way, the dinner table seemed bigger than it used to be. Your absence caused this. I blinked a few times trying to get rid of those thoughts, even though I thought it was impossible, since I felt his perfume everywhere.As soon as I finished my dinner, taking one last sip of my wine, I opened my macbook to read my emails. There was nothing but more work. I spent the night to solve everything and I could hardly sleep.I wo

I shook my head to go back to my gift, that's when I opened my email, first checking who had sent it. All my organs stopped working. It was an email from Friederich. Maybe it was to ask me about the roses, I hadn't even said I received them, even though I was sure it had been delivered at his behest. I opened the email and once again I feel my organs fail.From: Friederich HansonDate: December 14, 2012 9:30 amTo: Becca SmithSubject: Your tripIs the first class seat comfortable enough for you, Becca? Stay tuned. That knife injury wasn't an accident and you're being reckless to go so far..I curled up in my seat, feeling my hands tremble and my eyes look in all directions for Friederich. I didn't see him. Soon a commissioner approached asking me to keep the device, since we would soon be on the air. Still in automatic mode, I put my phone in my bag, feeling that it was observed. Damn Hanson.We were in the air and I couldn't keep quiet. Always attracting the curious eyes of flight a

"Is everything okay? "Elide asked, finishing his glass of wine.“No.”"You should ignore her a little. It always works.”" Ignoring her is not part of my plans, Elide.”"I just meant that the more you show interest and suffocate her, the more distant she will want to stay. "She leaned towards me. "Hey, tell me how you're feeling.”"I don't know what I should feel.”"Sadness, maybe.”"I'm not sad. I think I did something right. I let her go. I could just stop her. I could not have said that... "I stopped talking. I had forgotten to tell Elide a little detail. I didn't say I had kicked Becca out of my house."What did you say to her? "Your eyes widened. "did you say you loved her?”"Don't make a scandal." I spoke calmly, still restless at not seeing any more signs of any emails on my cell phone."So what did you say?”Again everything that happened crossed my mind, making me embark on a new daydream. I remembered Becca waking me up with her light steps on tiptoe. His red sweater falling