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Craving Mr. Cane のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 91 - チャプター 100

137 チャプター

Fresh Eyes

AustinShrugging on my blazer and stepping inside the elevator, I leave behind the ‘worried boyfriend’ and put on my business armor. I’ve literally built this building from the ground up with my hands. I designed, invested, and toiled away brick from brick, every inch of this building. No one will succeed in prying it out of my hands if I have any say. Board of directors be damned.“Gentlemen,” I say as a greeting. “Let’s get on with it.” “Austin, we have a lot on the agenda today. Your father’s unfortunate demise has left all the companies under Cane Industries in a precarious state.” One of the ancient geezers that is also known as members of the board drones on. I let them have their moment. With these boomers, these board meetings are the highlight of their day. Hell, maybe their month. Sometimes they like to call up the gang just to flaunt their authority. Most of the time, being the youngest, I do not react. But this, today, it’s personal. “...stocks have significantly dro

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The Gap Between Us

I’m suffocating. My road to recovery is like a roller coaster ride. Some days I’m on the up, more than grateful to be alive. But there are days, the ones that suck me into a pit of despair that seems to be happening more frequently lately. Those days are the worst. A cloud hangs over me. No, a rainstorm thunders over my head, and nothing can get me out of it. The worst part is that I can’t seem to hide it anymore. The people around me tiptoe.My mom minces her words. More often than not, she chooses not to say anything at all for fear of triggering something. My friends put on a show. It’s as if every visit is a quest to pull out a laugh or just an amused smile from me. Sometimes I force myself, other times it’s more exhausting to keep up the facade. I love them dearly, but the need for solitude outweighs everything these days.Austin is unwittingly carrying the brunt of my ire. If Austin could carry me to the bathroom, he would. Hell, if he can walk in my stead, he would be so glad

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Desecrated

“And here I thought you weren’t the typical shrink.”He cast his eyes on me. “Hmm… so your dad is a touchy subject.” “Why don’t you answer questions about yourself?” I volley back. “You didn’t ask me a question. You were merely stating an observation,” he coolly replied. “And you were, once again, evading my questions as well.”“Touché, Mr. Shrink. By the way, is that offensive?” “I don’t care.” “I read that they call you a shrink in the olden days ‘cause you guys shrink people’s egos. Is that true?”This got him to smile. “Well, it is arguably people’s egos that cause them to suffer, right? People do all sorts of things to protect their egos. Sometimes even to their detriment especially if they have a fragile one. Our perceptions of ourselves are more important than you think.”Well, he might be onto something. For someone like me who’s in my head all the time, it’s really chaotic right now since I feel so lost. It’s like I’m imbalanced, drifting away every so often. Always retur

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Distance

Austin It’s a lousy fix. Everything that’s happening right now is a band-aid. Yet I’m powerless to change anything. Like a well-oiled machine, I go through the motions day in and day out. Like a series of episodes, the meetings and endless cycle of accomplishing tasks roll on. There is a slight deviation each day but nothing significant. It’s one thing after the next. Being the CEO means delegating everything to the right people. It means putting out fires if they fuck up. It means I rarely grease my hands anymore in what I love to do the most. Creating something out of nothing. Designing and building - it’s the stuff of life. One that I sorely miss. “Hey boss, thanks for gracing us with your presence. Finally!” Tommy said as he lifted his heavy face shield and turned the machine off. I swerved away to prevent the yellow sparks from setting my suit aflame. “Whoa there, gotta be careful, wouldn’t want the big man to burn his sparkly suit,” he added. “I’ve got another board me

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Broken

It stings. I lay my palm over it. The bullet wound. The brand he left on me. It’s healed, I know it has. It’s just a scar now but I can feel it. Like an indelible mark, I’m forced to it carry forever. Even before opening my eyes, my first thought this morning was unpleasant but not at all unusual these days. An inventory of what aches is the next thing I clock in. My whole torso is stiff and abnormally cold. My ribs are tender and sore as always. Nothing new there. The second thought is a reminder that I need to shove something down my throat to take my medication. Even if hunger has escaped me these days. The third thought would always be the loves of my life. Charlie is fast asleep, maybe because it’s barely dawn but Austin… I glance at his side of the bed. Which is currently empty…? I listen for any sound, any sign of life. Silence permeates the penthouse. Against common sense, I still double-check the rooms. My body protesting. Another round makes me feel tired. I just wo

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Murphy's Law

Everything feels wrong. My days are all jumbled up. I go through the motions, merely existing. I hope that tomorrow will bring a better day but it seems that’s just what it is; hope.Nothing feels right anymore. There’s a knot that’s formed in my stomach that won’t go away. It squeezes me every which way. Especially when I hear Austin gently leaving the room beside ours. He isn’t mad. That’s what’s so crushing about it. He’s just distant, mostly non-combative in a way that he’d rather let me be than face any problems. He’s decided to stay at his study whenever he isn’t working downstairs.He comes home and works at night too. Maybe it’s his excuse to not see me. I don’t see my friends, I don’t see my mom. My only companion these days is Charlotte. Dinner is a quiet affair consisting of a mute Austin with a poker face. Eye contact is a rare thing nowadays. It’s a miracle if he asks me to pass the salad. It’s one of those dreary meals that we discussed an important matter. “I uhm…”

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Beyond Repair

My brain is treacherously verging on the most negative side it can take. With hazy eyes, I stumble to my shrink’s office. The receptionist most probably thought I was in pain because of my injuries. But I’m not.I plopped down on the yellow couch. My shrink winced once he saw my state. I pretended not to notice. I wouldn’t have picked up on it if I wasn’t unusually focused on the pad he was holding. “More notes, doc?” I tittered. He wrote something as he ignored me. I rolled my eyes at his impassiveness. Where do all these men get their daily dose of snooty antics? It’s like they’re all so high up on their thrones. No one can reach them. They’re just choosing to look down on everyone below them. “Hmp.” I narrowed my eyes while he continued to disregard my existence. “Didn’t know I was paying to keep getting snubbed.” He tutted me. The guy tutted and I snickered at his ridiculous response. “No fancy words this time, doc?”“We’ll talk once you’re done acting out.” Righteously ind

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Missed - communications

AustinRaw, unfiltered anger surged in me when I heard the news. The blind rage slices right through me, and once again, I see red when I hear anything about that piece of shit. Like a tightly wound coil, the frustration keeps my body locked in and ready to fight. Except this time, I’m sparring with unknown entities. Who the hell would free someone like that? What kind of twisted rationale could a politician have to use dangerous people for what, more votes? Scratch that, that’s exactly what they do. They take advantage of the advocacies and use them for PR—anything to push for their political gains. ‘You better have a good explanation for this,’ I threatened my lawyer. Knowing fully it wasn’t her fault but needing someone to blame. ‘And a full-proof plan, that scum is going to prison this time if you don’t want to be my criminal defense lawyer,’ I added for good measure. I don’t wait for her response and storm out of my office, messaging Olivia along the way. I need to formulate

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Stay

The urge to heave my lungs out makes me lurch from the bed. I hacked once, twice then thrice but nothing came out. The room is still spinning. I blinked back my blurry eyes but it won’t give me clarity. Another upsurge forces me to hang my head on the side of the bed. I would have crawled my way to the bathroom but acid quickly expels from my mouth and right onto Austin’s rug. Waking up wasted and nursing a medley of aches and pains will never be my favorite but it seems like it has become my routine.What’s new is the absence of Charlie from the corner of the bed which makes me wonder where she was. I pushed myself up against my protesting limbs. I open the bedroom door and catch a rarity. Austin bent over and feeding Charlie in the kitchen makes me want to run right back to the room.He looks up, scans me, and returns to attending to the dog. “You might not be aware but she gets hungry in the mornings,” he said to the general area of the kitchen. As if I wasn’t standing right the

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Roller Coaster of Emotions

They surrounded me on the bed. I never had many friends when I was younger and this, I imagined, would have been what sleepover with the girls looked like. Except there was a gay guy in the group, another girl was stuffing her face with cheesy pizza and another one was… “Are you finishing my bottle of scotch?!” I asked Rosie. “Yeah, I am. So that you won’t have some anymore.” Her glazed eyes and smirk made Andrea snatch the bottle away. “We don’t need you throwing up. We already have this one’s puke in there,” she scolded. Rosie took a slice of pizza instead. “Hey, I thought you were cooking us something?” she asked Charlie. “Of course, I just wanted to leave. Do I look like I know how to cook?” He raised his pretty long nails which was admittedly nice and I would have envied Charlie if my head wasn’t starting to ache again. I shook my head to stave off the dizziness but they noticed. “Here, eat some, O.” Rosie pushed the box of my favorite pepperoni pizza. At the sigh

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