DAVID The sun invades my room through the window and the light disturbs my sleep, making me wake up early. Annoyed, I get up in a bad mood, kicking the pillow that falls from the bed onto my foot. Today is a bad day for many reasons, but the main one is that today was supposed to be a day of celebration, where my wife and I would have been married for eighteen years. Except she's dead, and I'm alive, so this day turned bad. Terrible. I take off my underwear and walk into the bathroom, opting for a cold shower. I don't deserve perks while she's in that hole, lifeless. Today is a day of seclusion, where I choose to be locked up at home, a recluse from the world. I prefer solitude these days, the pain of longing being my only company. So I end up freaking out when I see the woman sleeping on my couch. I curse, as I envision her face and remember my decision last night, bringing her here instead of leaving her in her own home, was a mistake. Owhat got into me? My mood deteriorates

DAVID I discard the coffee capsule in the trash and drink the entire contents of the cup, this fucking espresso machine was invented to save my life, there's no other explanation, I've been a self-confessed coffee addict since college and never learned the traditional way of leave it in the right spot. My years as an educator have only intensified that passion, and I don't know how I could handle the sleepless nights grading tests and planning lessons without a healthy dose of caffeine. The liquid runs hot down my throat and awakens my senses, pushing away the inhuman hangover I've been fighting since I woke up and preparing me for the meeting I can't cancel. I ended up going over the top last night, went to the club and fucked good BDSM style, the sex had an audience and I enjoyed the experience, although I don't like the exhibitionism too much. I check the time on my wristwatch and place the empty cup on the sink, grab my car key on the American kitchen counter and accelerate as ha

NELLY ''You go!" ''I am not going." ''Go." ''Not." Alice rolls her eyes from the other side of my phone screen, laying down on the floor as she tries to keep her phone balanced at face level and argue with me at the same time. My finger slides to the off button, and I'm tempted to press it. ''Do not even think about it." she growls on the other end of the line, pointing her index finger at the screen, suspicious of my intentions. I make a full face and pull my finger away. "I'm not thinking of anything.'' I defend myself, and she mumbles something I can't understand. “As if I didn't know you, Nelly. You always find a way to get away without committing yourself.'' She says, and I look offended, because I'm beyond offended. ''What are you talking about? I protest, glancing once more at the off button. That temptation. She snorts, returning to sit on his legs impatient. " Don't you have a sofa?" I ask, already bothered by her restlessness, and she glares at me. "Yes, but I prefer

David I give my full attention to the only two members of my family and I listen carefully to Dona Hordéllis' speech, my father hugs her from the side and kisses her cheek, then she plays a video and images of us on some trips begin to appear on the huge screen. Pictures of me when I was little and even pictures of me with pregnant Lígia and later with our son, my eyes instantly fill with tears, my mother takes the floor again and clears her throat, looking for me with her eyes. My stomach twists with the farewell atmosphere, memories of when I couldn't get over the death of my wife and son, I left Brazil for Europe invading me. It was a few months of loneliness until I decided to react, but looking at my parents I also feel a tinge of jealousy for their relationship. They have been together for a long time, but they still love each other. ''I love you.'' I read it from her lips and then my heart freezes, sensing something bad is coming, she opens her mouth and the sound comes out a

DAVIDThere comes a time in every man's life when the simplest things become the most important. We stop fighting against gravity and all we want is to keep our feet firmly on the ground, but with me the opposite happens, the older I get and the days go by, the need for intensity increases and the idea of having a routine is suffocating. I adhere to solitude as a lifestyle and live without anyone's interference, I go wherever I want and fuck whoever I want. Without any commitment. Therefore, the idea of relating to anyone borders on the absurd. No one can take the place of my Ligia, she is unique, the most special and incredible woman I have ever met, fuck if everyone thinks I am living in an eternal mourning and neglecting the opportunity for a new beginning, I don't want a new story. I want the old one. And if for a second I questioned my feelings for Nelly, today I can say that I acted out of anger. I was impulsive. Nobody will replace my wife. Nobody. Nelly is...Fuck, she is