40 : "Paraphernalia"Paraphernalia40I quickly ran to Gage's door as soon as they were about to close it. Once it slammed at my face, I knew I had no chance of going inside.I cursed at myself for still wanting to go beyond that door when I've already witnessed too much from a while ago.But I won't be able to help myself if I won't know what they'll be doing inside Gage's room. It will bother me for the rest of my life if I won't know what is really happening there and what things they are already doing. I might sound creepy or clingy right now and I know I'm not his girlfriend, but from where I stand, I have the right to know. At least.How can he welcome two random girls inside when he hasn't even let me in there?I grabbed the knob and tried to open it. I slowly tried twisting it and to my surprise they were too drunk to lock it, I guess.I sneakily swing it open, hoping they won't notice me entering. As soon as I opened it, thank god the coast was clear. I walk by the dark foyer

42 : "Confused"Confused42G A G EMy heart skipped a beat when I read her message over Twitter. I went totally blank for almost five seconds and then I tried to gather my thoughts up with me, recollecting the things that I have done when we were in Indonesia and I can't think of a single thing I did wrongly, aside from leaving her at the club after inviting her over that night.My eyes reread the message she sent me over and over again because I can't believe that she want out from this thing we have. We just started off. We were already having fun. We were even having a good time then all of a sudden she want out that easily? Just like that?@Gage_Stockholm: I don't understand.@tate_kvngh: Then that's your problem if you don't.@Gage_Stockholm: Why so suddenly? Why do you want out? What did I do Tate? Fucking tell me! Stop making me guess things! Tell me straight at my face what I did wrong.@tate_kvngh: Try to get to your senses Gage because there's no need for you to explain thi

44 : "Campout"Campout44I wake up, sweaty and breathless. I stared out in great confusion and tried to calm myself down. I look around me and I forgot that I was at the campout. I was just having a bad dream.I was dreaming that I was lost inside a green forest at night, running and screaming for help but in my sleep, I heard voices calling out to me and one from the distinct voices from my dream was from Gage. But I couldn't find my way out of the deep forest so I ended up falling to my knees and cried until it got darker and darker.Shivering, I pull out my phone and noticed that it was still ten thirty in the evening. I look back to the people at the campfire who were still singing. Mr. & Mrs. Toms passed by me and they offered me a mug of cold beer but I smiled back and turned them down. It was still too early for me to be drunk. Maybe a bit later, I'll take a quick sip from it and fall asleep drunk.As I look at the stars, I remember Gage all of a sudden and how his husky voice

46 : "Spoon"Spoon46My eyes kept gazing around at Gage and this spaciously enormous tent is already too big but it's still too small for the two of us. I watch him as he puts his long hair into a bun so effortlessly and I really love how his long fingers works its way on keeping his hair in tact like that. I love how he twist and turn his bundle of hair as he locks it with his small black elastic band.I didn't plan to be with Gage tonight and I didn't want to sleep in the same tent with him tonight as well. I didn't even expect him to be here nor to show up so suddenly in New York. I don't want him here because he makes me forget that I'm mad at him with his gorgeous dimpled smile.I kept my eyes glued at Gage while he was so busy typing on his iPhone as he stands there shirtless. Oh damn it, if I wasn't only mad at you, I'd be all over you now Gage. I'm sure he's texting some girl he recently fucked on tour.When he caught me staring at him, I was quick enough to look away but sti

48 : "Dreams & Women"Dreams48I lay myself down on the bed after reading it. I don't wanna read any further so I put his phone back down. I laid with my calves hanging on the end of the bed while my back was well rested on the mattress. I look up at the ceiling and cursed at myself for reading that conversation."I shouldn't have opened it." I curse at myself softly. "Fuck I shouldn't have opened it."I close my eyes and breathe. I try to keep my eyes shut close for a while as I try to erase the things that I've read on Gage's phone.He will never change and I'm sure he will see her while I'm on Machu Picchu.I open my eyes and froze when I saw Gage bending over to me. I covered my breasts with my arms across it while he was fresh from the bathroom. I look down at his lower extremity and my eyes widened when he was still on his towel. His hair was still damp and his body was glimmering and glowing from the water dripping down from his body. He smelled so greatly fresh as if it was l