Ethan Hernandez - March, 2012I left Sofia's room intending to give her some space. I could imagine what she was feeling... It was the same as what I felt seven years ago when I thought that being with her was betraying my friendship with Nick. But the difference is that I never got to experience what Sofia and I had, whereas she did... She got married, and I bet all her feelings were now amplified by the memory of their time together.I grabbed my cellphone to send a message to Anne. If Sofia's problem was now with me, maybe she would listen to her best friend. I just didn't want her to be alone after seeing how upset she was when I left."Is Sofia doing okay? Can you check on her later?"I typed and sent the message while I was in the elevator heading to my floor. After a few moments, I felt the vibration of my phone in my hand."What exactly happened? Can we meet to talk? If I know her well, she'll want some time alone before seeing anyone."I read Anne's message. It was clear that

Ethan Hernandez - March, 2012"Nick, I knew I would see you again," she said softly, looking at a fixed point in the corner of the elevator. But there was nothing there. Sofia was delusional."You died, and I died with you," she said, seeming angry, trying to reach for something that didn't exist. I didn't know if I should pull her back to reality or let her have that moment. It seemed like she was finally releasing everything she had been holding onto this past year."And I feel so alone all the time, Nick... You were supposed to be here, remember?" By this point, she was already crying again, barely noticing when the floor arrived, and I pulled her into the hallway. Seeing all of that was so sad. It was so much pain.Sofia was cooperating and allowing herself to be led until that moment. But at some point, she abruptly stopped and threw herself to the floor when we were close to my room. I quickly eased her fall, catching her at the last second, but she didn't seem to care about the

Sofia Adams - April 2012A week had passed since the scene I caused at the hotel.Anne had been hospitalized the entire week, but even though we stayed in touch through messages, I couldn't see her.In the first few days, I had horrible withdrawal symptoms. Headaches, cold sweats, and body tremors... Ethan was by my side the whole time, making sure I drank plenty of water and ate light meals. I couldn't sleep, and sometimes, I couldn't even breathe.The worst part was the daydreaming. Every now and then, I fantasized about Ethan getting distracted and me going to have a drink. The desire was so intense that I dreamed about it. I saw myself with a bottle in hand, drinking every last drop, savoring that poison. Suddenly, I would wake up with a dry mouth from desire and covered in shame, realizing where my thoughts had taken me.I remember going to the hotel restaurant on the third day after the cravings subsided. Ethan said it would be good for me to see the place with a fresh perspecti

Sofia Adams - April, 2012Anne looked at me attentively, as if she could read what was going on in my mind."I know what you're thinking, Sofia. I know it's not easy. It's okay to be sad," she said.I weakly smiled. Of course, she knew."I prefer to focus on how happy I am for you, Ann," I replied honestly. Concentrating on positive things seemed to work a little to distract from the insane desire I had to drink."Have you thought of a name?" I asked.Anne laughed."We don't even know the gender, Sofia!" she retorted."But it's just a matter of time," I replied."Yes, but when we find out, we'll have even more time to decide," she concluded. "And between us, I'm avoiding the subject to avoid hearing the horrible names Tom wants to give," she whispered.Anne had barely finished the sentence when Tom abruptly entered the room along with Ethan."Hey, Timothy isn't that bad," he said.Timothy? That had to be a joke.Anne looked at me as if she wanted to say, "See? I told you.""We've alre

Sofia Adams - April 2012I blinked, returning to reality and realizing that Kate was still waiting for a response."Yes, it's because of the dream. I have this feeling that I can't live a life without Nick," I confessed. Kate gave me a knowing look, and her following words sent shivers down my spine."That you don't deserve a life when he died because of you," Kate completed, giving voice to my exact feelings. "And even though everyone says you're not to blame, you don't believe it."Kate understood more than anyone."Yes," I whispered."You stopped drinking recently, and now all the emotions you used to suppress with alcohol have nowhere else to go. You have to face them or let them overwhelm you. But that will only lead you back to alcohol," Kate said, softly uttering all of this with the authority and truth of someone who had been where I had been.We arrived at the café before I could respond, but I don't think she expected an answer.We sat at the table with our orders after wait