Semua Bab The choices we make: Bab 31 - Bab 40
101 Bab
31
As winter came, the food shortage was starting to become noticeable. Starvation was a fact in the city. The sickness also kept spreading. For the first time, some of the more affluent households became ill. Never had the sickness come so close to the heart of the city. Panic spread through the castle. There was talk of isolating the castle. The castellan had his work cut out for him and was kept busy, and so was Zerden. The panic needed to be contained and an outright rebellion to be avoided at all costs. There were rumours the king had sent word to the Lady and in desperation had invited her. Mary felt her heart flutter the first time she heard the rumours. Would the Lady come? But soon her joy passed when she realized the Lady probably wouldn’t remember her. Even if she and Kopa came to the castle, Mary probably wouldn’t meet them. Still, it felt nice to know that maybe, if Mary was lucky, she could at least get to see them from a distance. Just knowing the Lady would be in the cast
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32
The spring sun was shining through the windows of the carriage. Tariana sat and watched the landscape sweeping past outside. But her thoughts were far ahead of them, in the castle where they were heading. Her thoughts, as so many times over the years, were with the little redheaded girl. She was finally going to see Mary again. It had been difficult to separate from her all those years ago; more than once had she regretted her decision and been on the verge of sending for the girl. But now she would get to meet her again, and she would get to know everything that happened to Mary during this time. Did she have a fiancé or was she maybe already married? Tariana quickly did the math in her head. Mary would be seventeen, almost eighteen, by now. That was about the age young women started getting married. Tariana knew Kopa was just as excited to see Mary again. He didn’t say anything; he rarely talked about his feelings. But he had been impatient and restless for the past few days, which
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33
“Sit here with me, my friend,” said the Lady, patting one of the pillows in the window. Mary carefully went forward and sat as far out on the edge as she could. “Mary, I have to apologize,” the Lady began, and Mary was so surprised she forgot about being careful and looked up at the Lady. “We shouldn’t have left you the way we did when we went back home. I trusted the king, but that’s no excuse. I should have made sure you were okay before we left,” the Lady continued. “I thought you’d be taken care of and get to grow up at court.”“At court?” said Mary in amazement.“Yes, my friend, that’s what was decided. I thought you’d be best off staying here, where you felt at home. I was wrong. Can you forgive me?” Mary didn’t know what to say. The thought of growing up at court was so strange. She thought of Lady Sarah and couldn’t imagine growing up to be like her. Mary suddenly realized the Lady was waiting for an answer.“There’s nothing to forgive,” she said. The Lady smiled faintly. They
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34
In the days that followed, Mary spent all her time in the tower with the grey-clad people and the aari. She didn't go out into the rest of the castle because she had a fear that everything was just a dream, and if she were to leave the room, she would have to go back to her old life. Kopa was her constant companion. It seemed like the Lady had ordered him to take care of Mary. Mary didn’t mind. She still found peace and comfort in his company. She didn’t remember when she had felt so relaxed and content. Mary tried not to think about the people who were outside the safe walls and the familiar rooms. But on her second day in the tower, as she sat looking out over the castle courtyard as usual, she saw Zerden. She saw him cross the courtyard and then disappear behind a couple of buildings. Mary knew he was heading for the gardens, and she knew who he was meeting. She felt a sharp stab in the heart and turned away. She didn't want to think about it, not now. ---Kopa saw and felt the ch
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35
Mary felt a little strange leaving the security of the tower. But at the same time, it felt wonderful to get some fresh air and walk around again. Many of the people who walked across the yard greeted her while looking at Kopa with questioning looks. Mary steered their steps towards the gate and then down the street. As they walked, she kept telling Kopa stories about the different houses, about the streets and about the places they could see in the distance. They walked around for hours before finally getting back to the castle gates. Mary was happy and felt like she had spent most of their walk laughing. Even Kopa seemed unusually cheerful, and she had received several smiles from him during the day. Together they entered through the gate and started towards the tower. "Mary?" Mary stopped when she heard her name. She turned around and saw Zerden standing among a group of soldiers on the other side of the castle yard. He said a few words to his friends and then hurried towards her.
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36
Mary stopped outside the door to the apartment and took a deep breath before knocking. It took a while, but then Zerden's mother opened the door. "Mary, how nice to see you. Zerden's already left," she said. Mary thought she looked very tired. "I know, I've already met him. I was hoping to talk to you, but if you want, I can come back when you feel better." "Don't be silly. Come in and I'll put on some tea," Zerden's mother said, turning around to go into the kitchen. Mary stepped in and closed the door behind her. She hung her coat in the hallway as so many times before and followed Anna into the kitchen. Mary got the cups and tried to find a place to start the conversation she knew she needed to have with Anna. They sat down at the table and Zerden's mother poured them some tea. "I guess Zerden told you his news," his mother said. "Yes.""He is not the most tactful man God has put on this earth," his mother nodded. "He takes after his father. I love them both dearly, but the Lo
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37
"Of course, come in." Mary entered the small house and followed Ida into the kitchen where Mrs. Korpi was stirring in a pot. "Well, look at this. Mary, it's nice to see you," the woman said. "Thank you, Mrs. Korpi. Do you think Erik's going to be able to talk to me soon? I need to talk to him. It’s urgent or I wouldn’t have come in the middle of the day," Mary said. A small pensive wrinkle appeared between Mrs. Korpi's eyebrows. "Well, the men will soon have their food. You are welcome to wait and join us." “Thank you very much," said Mary. She had hardly sat down to wait when the back door opened, and Erik and his father entered the kitchen. They looked at Mary curiously before greeting her. "Here, take your bowls of stew and go and sit in the garden, you two. There you can have a talk," said Mrs. Korpi, giving Mary and Erik each their bowl of food. They thanked her and went out into the garden. It was still a bit chilly, but they found a place where the sun warmed them and sett
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38
The afternoon and evening turned into a jumble of packing, anticipation, and nerves. The final announcement of departure came shortly before dinner. Everyone seemed to have assumed that would be the case and had already begun to prepare. For Mary, this made her decision more real and inevitable. Although it gave her a whole swarm of butterflies in her stomach, she stood firm in her belief this was what she had to do. When the news that Mary was coming with them spread through the group of grey-clad people, it was received with joy and cheers. They seemed genuinely happy she would go with them. They strengthened Mary's decision. Perhaps she would find a place where she was accepted and welcome. The most important thing for Mary was to make sure all her memorabilia was packed and secured. All the things which were left of her father’s craft, the little knickknacks she had received from her friends during the years—all were tiny specks of light. They might seem unimportant to most people
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39
Mary sat in the carriage, feeling somewhat depressed after leaving everything and everyone she knew behind. That wasn’t entirely true, she thought, she was, in fact, surrounded by people she knew, and she was with the Lady and Kopa. It helped a little, she just needed to look at this as an adventure. Like when Erik and she would explore the city when they were children. After a while, the carriage stopped, and Mary looked at the Lady questioningly."We have to wait for the wagons with our luggage," the Lady explained without Mary having to ask. Mary nodded and realized they couldn’t travel without storage wagons. The procession with the grey riders and the lonely white carriage, was only to create an impression, to maintain the vision of the Lady and her company. Mary thought she should have figured it out earlier, she, if anyone, should know how much food it took to feed all these people. As they waited for the waggons to catch up with them, Mary thought about the journey ahead of he
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40
Kopa walked around the camp inspecting tents, weapons, equipment and talking to the grey riders. He introduced Mary as they went, and she was amazed at the respect they showed her. She was used to being almost at the bottom of the social order, and now it suddenly seemed she had taken a step or two up. She didn't really know how to handle it. As they walked between two groups of people, Mary turned to Kopa."I thought Nihal was responsible for the riders" she said."That's right" Kopa replied."But if he's in charge of the riders, why are you doing the inspection?" She was never afraid to ask Kopa a question, she felt safe with him. He wouldn’t make fun of her just because she didn’t know something. He looked at her appreciatively."I'm responsible for Tariana's personal guard" he replied. "It's therefore my job to make sure she's safe, so I usually do an inspection to make sure safety is up to my standards" he continued. Mary nodded."But what does Nihal say about you doing it?" she
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