A MONTH LATER. . . . . .It's been a month.A month since Lisa's birthday. A month since I kissed my bestfriend.And a solid full month of her breaking my heart time and time again as I swipe through her Instagram photos everyday only to be wrenched apart with pictures of her and Christian looking all 'lovey-dovey' and shit.Every. Single. Day.Things are still cool with Lisa and I, but I can't deny the fact that our phone calls are not as often or as long or as funny as they used to be. Most of her time is now gobbled up in her work and in her new love relationship with Christian, which totally makes me sick all time whenever I remember that she finally decided to date that guy.I know something is off between us, but I feel so afraid approaching the topic with her. What do I even say? How do I even begin?Besides, would it even matter? She has a boyfriend now. And at the moment, it is not like I can just blurt out to her how I feel about her. It will be totally awkward, complicated

I feel like I am drowning into this sofa, my heart tearing into shreds as I watch Lisa and Christian whispering and giggling to each other, their fingers entwined so tight that it makes me sick just by looking at it. Christian's free hand is draped on one of Lisa's exposed thighs, the sight of his caressing fingers on her skin filling me with the rabid thought of chopping them off.I can deal with the obvious kissing show that Sandra and Ethan are obviously displaying by my right side, but my insides are ripping apart just by watching Lisa cuddled up with Christian on that damn sofa directly in front of me, wearing that blue jean shorts that is nearly driving my head insane.And that crop top is also not helping matters. . . . .I know it is not my place to ask, but did what happened between us last month even mean anything to her? Or was it really just a mistake to her?The movie 'Shotgun Wedding' is showing on TV, and I am trying to force my entire body and mind to immense in the ch

I heave a low sigh of relief when Lisa's eyes finally leave my face to stare down at the drink in her hands."You know, the girl you are going to love is going to be one lucky girl Kayden. And you are even a damn good kisser to top the icing on the cake."Damn it! My ears must be kidding me, because what I heard must be a joke. I am already in love with the girl she is talking about. This girl sitting beside me right now is the girl I love. Lisa Collins is the girl I love. The dumb silent confession hits me like a truck, my heart nearly exploding in a mixture of pain and anger. Fuck this! I am just going to tell her right now how I feel about—"Hey babe." I hear Christian's voice behind us, the surprise it jerks into my body sending back the three words rising in my throat back down into my belly. The three words that has pricked and poked at my heart all these years, begging to be free.He bends down and kisses Lisa's forehead. "I have been looking for you all over the house.""Real

When I enter the kitchen, I stumble back at the intense sight of Sandra and Ethan gripping and pulling and kissing each other's brains out."Oh my God guys!" I groan out, my loud voice startling them out of their make out trance. "Can't you both just do stuffs like this in the privacy of your bedroom?"Sandra adjusts her night dress. Ethan runs his hands over his messy hair, both their faces blushing so deeply.I shake my head and simply walk to the kitchen counter, where I take out a bottle of water. I screw the cover open and take a long gulp before closing back the lid of the bottle.When I turn around, I see them leaving the kitchen, their fingers entwined into each other's hold, their faces so close together as they murmur and giggle to each other.I wish I have what they have. Imagine their temerity to mess around even in the kitchen. Something that I can't even do with the guy I love just a few rooms away from mine.My mind goes back to the little conversation I had with Kayden

I knock a couple times on Christian's door, my heart still pounding with the unanswered question of why he suddenly called me over.Oh God! Maybe he wants his answer today. How the hell do I tell him that I can't marry him? What do I tell him if he asks me why?I rub my hands together and suck in a deep breath before lifting one of my hands again to knock on the door.Just as my hand makes to connect to the door, the door clicks open and pulls back to reveal Christian standing so handsomely dressed in a red designer's shirt and a pair of black pants with shiny black shoes to match."Hey babe," he coos, giving me a quick kiss on the lips. He offers me his hand and I take it."Is there any special occasion?" I joke, following him as he ushers me into his house."Well, I kind of wanted us to have an in-house date. You know, just the two of us."I smile, but deep down, I am really feeling like I am about to confess my sins to a Pope. I feel this is some kind of setup he made to get my answ