Liam Damn it, what was I thinking cuddling into her like that.? I’ve not held Tate since shit knows when. I mean we were just kids when we used to cuddle and hunker up. I loved how we were when we were younger, becoming a teenager and growing into an adult can be really sucky sometimes. I easily make my way down the trellis minding not to get stabbed by the thorny roses. This trellis has been the bain of my life for so many years. If tonight hadn’t been so serious it would probably make me smile that I act like some damn cat burglar sneaking around in the middle of the night. It’s pitch black outside the sky displays an array of stars, Tate loves stars. We sometimes drive further into the mountain area and just sit on the hood of my jeep and take them in. I like them but not as much as she does, she’s kind of obsessed with them. My girl Tate, there is no-one quite like her in the world. My breathing is rapid, even though I know her folks are well and truly asleep and mine will be t

Tate I’m still thinking about Liam when I hear Lilly beep her car horn. She loves that damn horn. Her daddy had it fixed so it sounds like one of those really cool classic motors from the 1920’s. It’s funny I guess if you like that kind of thing and Lilly can be very quirky. “Mom, I’m going. Have a lovely time at the club and tonight. See you tomorrow. It is tomorrow you’re back right?” I’m slipping into my favourite Nike’s my white ones with a swirling pattern on the back on the heel and grab my mini rucksack from my chair in the bedroom. “Mom.” I shout again. Where is she? I don’t want to have to go running around the house, it’s huge just to find her. She comes out of their room fixing an earring in her ear. “I heard you, Tate. Yes, tomorrow around four or five. Daddy has to leave early on Monday to fly to Dallas with Patrick.” My dad never gets a break but he thrives on his business, it’s his whole life aside from my mother and I. “Okay, perfect.” I move towards her and place

Liam We hung with the girls for a couple of hours but honestly shopping isn’t for me, not unless it I need something. I know that sounds kind of weird especially considering I can buy myself anything I want, anytime I want but truly I don’t care much for shopping. The girls have had a nice time going in and out of all the designer shops and Tate has bought herself some nice outfits. I love it when she looks to me for approval, even though Lilly and Tammy are with us. Denver looked bored all the time, he is itching to get to the game that starts in two hours. The girls have decided they’re coming with us. When Tate came out of one of the changing rooms with the skimpiest red halter neck dress on I’ve ever seen, I almost had a heart attack. “Where do you think you’re going to wear that?” I said without even thinking. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She retorted with her hands on her hips. I’ve never seen her wear something so revealing, it made me twinge and seriously that’s not fuck

Tate“You’re going to be so hot girl.” Tammy says as she takes a drink of her rum and coke. I wish she wouldn’t drink in the day. I know Liam and Denver are but that’s only a couple of beers. With Tammy you never know if she’s just going to carry on drinking somewhere, maybe end up in a dive bar. I feel responsible for her in so many ways, as does Lilly.“That’s the idea.” I say keeping an eye on Liam as I speak. He is trying to pretend he isn’t listening but he is. And also I am questioning how this happened. How did I go from being the girl that hung out with Liam climbing trees, playing knock on the door and run when we were five and six? The girl who held him as he cried when he lost his pet dog, Boo-Boo when he was eight and the girl who used to play on the swings in the playground with him, to this girl-woman who wants to feel him inside her? There is no guidebook on growing up, there is no guidebook on this kind of emotion, I wish there fucking was. I wish there was someone I c

Tate “You think Tammy will be alright? I mean she seemed so herself at the ball game?” Lilly asks me as I lay on my bed with my knees bent and lean against my scatter pillows. My favourite is a cream heart one with the words LOVE embroidered on it. Liam gifted me it to me when I was fifteen and we were in New England with our folks on a holiday. It was the perfect time. The water, sailing, eating ice creams and not having a care in the world other than making sure we kept getting our grades. It was a summer of summers. Beautiful weather, our folks made barbeques in the yard of the rental house, a blue one with white window frames. Honestly, it was like a doll’s house it was so pretty. “I have no idea to be honest, Lilly.” I turn my head to the right so I can look at her as I talk. Lilly is frowning like she’s deep in thought. Her head rests on the footboard of my bed. We’re laying toe-to-toe, her hands are in her lap her thumbs going round in circles. Lilly does this when she’s worri