Semua Bab Refuge (MxM): Bab 21 - Bab 30

No, Callum didn't kiss him. He was just imagining it. Lian's face turned beet red upon the realization. He doesn't even know what prompted his mind to think that way. He doesn't deserve Callum. Not anymore. The man may have hurt him, but he's not worthy of anyone anymore and he's accepted that. "Is there anything wrong?" Callum asked and Lian quickly shook his head. "Why did you leave?" Lian asked."Why did I leave? When- oh," Callum nervously chuckled. "That one.""It's okay if you don't want to talk about it," Lian said."It's okay. It was just a bit embarrassing," he said while scratching the back of his head. "I, uhm, when you said that kiss didn't mean anything," he paused and took a deep breath. "I felt like my heart was broken all over again." Lian felt guilt crawl inside of him when he heard those words. He didn't mean to hurt Callum, he just wanted to tell the truth but it seemed like it would hurt him either way."I'm sorry," Lian apologized. "No, no need to apologize. I

The taxi ride back to the hotel was awkward, to say the least. They were able to leave their old house without a fuss after Lyle and their parents had a meeting. Lian had no idea what they had talked about. He could only guess it had something to do with what Lyle had planned the night before. Apparently, during the whole night that Lyle and Keane are gone, they've been taking photos of them fake dating. Lyle knew that his dating a man would make them rethink their decision instead of if it was Lian. Lyle threatened to release the photos to the public, knowing that it would have more impact on their company and would definitely plummet the stocks seeing how the majority of the shareholders were homophobic. "I was a good kisser wasn't I?" Lyle teased."Lyle shut the fuck up!" Lian whined in disgust while Keane's face turned beet red.The man was an amazing kisser. He wouldn't deny it nor would he admit it. Lyle opened his mouth to tease Keane once again but a sharp jab to his ribcage

After breakfast, Lian and Callum found themselves back in the pond, their feet dancing underneath the water's surface. it was the only place left in the city that felt truly safe for Lian. "I'm sorry," Lian said after a few minutes of silence.Callum was confused as to what he was apologizing for. He looked over at Lian and saw the embarrassment on his face."What are you apologizing for?" he asked."I couldn't even kiss you," Lian croaked out. "It's just a kiss yet I can't keep them out. The multiple amounts of therapy sessions I took feel useless now," he scoffed."Lian, look at me," Callum demanded but Lian kept his gaze away.Callum sighed and grabbed Lian's chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing Lian to look at him. Lian kept his gaze low, too scared to see the disappointment on Callum's face."Can I kiss you?" Callum asked.Lian was shocked to hear that Callum still wanted to kiss him after what happened last night. Lian feared that he'd disappoint Callum again if he doesn

Callum woke up to an empty bed. He told himself that maybe Lian just went to the bathroom but he had an odd feeling that he couldn't pinpoint what was causing it. As he sat up from the bed, Lyle knocked and opened the door with a concerned look. He looked around Callum's room and his face fell even more."Lian's missing."Two words. It took two words for the three to start scrambling and packing their bags. Lyle somehow knew something like this would happen so he tucked a tracker in Lian's suitcase, which he took with him. All they know is that Lian's on air right now but they didn't know which flight so they took the risk and boarded a flight home. None of the three could even utter a word. Too scared to say the wrong thing that would send all of them into a panic. They all have the same thoughts in their heads but they all wish it weren't true. That he wouldn't go back there, he just got out of rehab. Lian wouldn't do that to himself. Not when everything was starting to get better

A few weeks passed and it seemed that everything had gone back to normal. Lian made an effort to tell Lyle or Callum whenever he felt like sticking a needle in his arm. In everyone's eyes, Lian was getting better again but Lian saw otherwise. The need to be alone and away from the world was getting stronger. He wanted to push everyone away and deal with everything on his own.Lian couldn't even understand why he was feeling this way. It was as if there were two versions of him fighting one another. If it weren't for his fear of losing his brother again, and even Callum and Keane, he would've run away a long time ago but he knew he would only turn for the worse if he did but somehow, somewhere in his mind, a voice keeps telling him to run away, be alone, he doesn't deserve the people around him.Everyone around Lian noticed this about him despite him thinking that he was hiding it well. When he would hesitate when approaching when he would spend hours staring out the door, and when he