Semua Bab Thirty Days: Bab 101 - Bab 110

As I step into Bread & Cake the aroma wraps around me like a warm, comforting scarf; no one can ever feel bad when the smell of fresh croissants tickles your nose. My journey down from London this morning was a breeze for a change. I managed to get a seat thanks to my enormous baby bump and even had some time to catch Michelle up on the latest news. Needless to say, she was just as horrified by the thought that Richard seemed to be in the walls as I was. But Taylor and Henry have assured me that while the shaft apparently looked like it had been accessed on a regular basis, they had now changed the codes, as well as installed additional alarms and cameras all around. Still, I can’t help but feel like he will just find another way in. Bea, my amazing shop manager, gives me a broad smile in greeting while she loads up another basket of rolls on the shelf. It is only eight a.m. but it looks like the first batch has already sold out. A moment later Andreas comes out, wiping the flour dus

My life appears to be all about journeys at the moment; if I am not in a car, a bus or a train at some point in the day, my life feels too static. But I guess there is also the metaphorical journey I seem to be on at the moment; trying to move forward from everything that has happened feels like wading through treacle. This morning I have woken up furious. My dreams were dominated by Hannah and Richard and the feelings of hopelessness that they elicited have made me feel out of control and that in turn has made me angry. You would have thought that after such a fantastic day yesterday, I would have woken up feeling great, but in the end the opposite is true. I close my eyes and plug in my MP3 player, losing myself in Limp Bizkit’s Break Stuff, the perfect accompaniment to my foul mood. As he shouts out about wanting to rip someone’s head off I have a clear picture in my mind of who I would like that to be. All I can say is that people don’t want to mess with me today. By the time I

Dr Grohl sits in his usual seat, his ever-present notebook perched on his lap, a Mont Blanc pen tapping against his upper lip as I describe how I stood up to Richard in the shop yesterday. “I know if it had been just me and him things would have probably been different,” I explain. “But knowing that I had a whole roomful of people behind me made me feel like, for once, I had the power. Richard couldn’t intimidate me and, for the first time ever, I got to be the rescuer rather than needing to be rescued.” David nods his head but doesn’t speak, indicating that I should continue with a wave of his fingers. “I sometimes feel like I live in this constant state of near panic like he’s the bogeyman and I am always looking over my shoulder wondering when he is going to next jump out at me. And I can’t even escape him when I sleep,” I say with a shrug. “Are you still having nightmares?” David asks, looking concerned. “Like clockwork,” I say with a sigh. “If it’s not Richard then it’s Hanna

The cottage has a slightly musty air as we haven’t been down for some time. Taylor’s housekeeper comes in weekly, but it is not enough to get rid of that somewhat abandoned feeling about it. The first thing I do is head to the back of the cottage and pull back the enormous bi-fold doors until the entire room is exposed to the garden. I sniff the air appreciatively as the scent of freshly mown grass permeates the surroundings. I am just stepping out onto the patio when Taylor calls to me to ask if I fancy a barbeque tonight and when I respond that it sounds great he lets me know that he is popping out to the village store to get some meat and other bits and pieces. I briefly contemplate heading out with him but then decide what I really need is a shower. I have just emerged from the cubicle when I notice Taylor sitting on the lid of the toilet watching me. I hadn’t even heard him come in and now feel slightly embarrassed that he had caught me singing very off-key. “You could have war

I break away from the hug when I hear some voices coming from the stairs, noticing two heads popping up. “We couldn’t wait to see it all finished,” Bea says with a twinkle in her eye. “Yeah, the suspense has been killing us,” Andreas chuckles. “Come up,” I call over. “This place is incredible…” I trail off not sure what other words I can use. Truth be told I am completely overwhelmed and I feel like I am probably missing loads of important details. But this is now my home and I can’t wait to pack up my stuff from the apartment and move in here properly. “It’s all here already,” Taylor says reading my mind. “The team moved our stuff last night while we were at the cottage.” Bea and Andreas disappear down the corridor to the bedrooms with my mum so I slide my arms around Taylor. “Have I told you today just how much I love you?” I ask earnestly, staring up into Taylor’s chocolate-brown eyes. “Hmm, not today,” Taylor responds with a light laugh. “Well, I love you very much, Mr Huds