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Lahat ng Kabanata ng All Grown Up: Kabanata 21 - Kabanata 30

139 Kabanata

It Slips Out

JesseIf I went anywhere else in town, I’d not only be leaving the shop in Joe and Chance’s hands—and who knew what might happen then—but everyone in town would wonder why I wasn’t there in the middle of a workday. Joe would probably be more than happy to tell them why I was gone.Besides, there was a part of me that wanted to use this as the excuse to go and talk to Audrey. She might not like me like that, but I still liked her, and she was my friend.I slowly walked over toward the park.Audrey saw me coming and put her book down, smiling up at me. “I was wondering if you were actually going to walk over here, or if you were just going to stand there watching me,” she said teasingly, and I realized abruptly that while my whole inner struggle had been going on, she had been sitting there watching me.I ducked my head, kicking at the grass. “I didn’t want to disturb you,” I muttered. “You looked, I don’t know, peaceful.”“Honestly, this book is terrible,” Audrey said, holding up some

Digging A Hole

AudreyThe minute the words were out of my mouth, I wished that I could take them back. Was there any possibility that Jesse hadn’t heard me clearly? From the shocked look on his face, he clearly had. Oh brother.“I mean, maybe not the biggest crush,” I immediately said. “I don’t know if it really was a crush at all. It was more like, you know, we just spent a lot of time together, and everyone I knew who spent a lot of time together with a member of the opposite sex, they were basically dating, right? And everyone I guess sort of thought that you and I were, you know, an item. That’s all. I never really thought that we were. I mean, it’s not like I wanted to be with you or anything. I just thought that we’d be good together. That’s all.”I realized that I was digging the hole deeper and deeper, and I felt mortified. My cheeks were burning, and I wished that I had never brought up that day in the first place. Hell, I wasn’t drunk now. Why even start rehashing all the times that Jesse

Not A Date

AudreyI knew that the original plan was for six months here, but the longer I was here, the more certain I became that I’d be able to go back sooner. I was coming up with hobbies and exploring other interests just like the director had asked. I had done the research that he wanted me to do. And my ankle wasn’t bothering me at all anymore, really. It was feeling pretty darn good. Mom still wanted to get me in to see a doctor about it, but I had a feeling I was going to be cleared to start training again sooner rather than later.It was a good feeling to have, but it meant that now wasn’t the time to start something with Jesse, who was clearly going to stay here in Aberdeen for the rest of his life, working at his father’s store and driving the same truck that he’d had since we were teenagers.There was nothing wrong with that, either—not for him—but I wasn’t going to be sticking around here. No sense in getting attached on either of our parts.Finally, I decided to put on a simple bla

Bowling

JesseI smiled over at Audrey as we pulled out of her mom’s driveway. “It must be nice to get to spend a lot of time with your family. Even if you did have to leave Paris and come back here for six months to do it.”Audrey cocked her head to the side. “I guess,” she said slowly. “I mean, it’s great to see them. I just can’t help feeling like, I don’t know…” She trailed off, and I could tell that whatever it was that she was feeling, she was reluctant to talk to me about it.“Come on, you know that you can tell me,” I told her.She sighed. “This might sound bad, but I just can’t help feeling like there isn’t a place for me here anymore. I mean, things have changed here since I’ve been gone. That’s for sure. But I can’t help thinking that maybe I’ve changed more than everyone else.” She paused. “God, that makes me sound so full of myself, doesn’t it?”I frowned, thinking about that. “To be honest, I kind of understand that feeling,” I told her. I took a deep breath. I hadn’t really talk

The Night is Young

JesseWe finally paused to grab food, although with the score tied at one game each, we were already promising one another more rounds of play afterward. “God, I forgot to ask if you were still on a dancer’s diet,” I said suddenly as we looked over the pizza menu.“It’s fine,” Audrey said.“No, seriously, I’m sorry,” I said. “I should have thought about that.”“And taken me where?” Audrey asked, raising an eyebrow at me. “I don’t think Aberdeen has any low-fat, no-carb, whatever-whatever places where I could stick to my diet. I knew what I was getting myself into.” She took a deep breath. “I’ve been pretty lax on my diet since I got here. And I mean to be better. I don’t want to give it all up. But at the same time, well…” She trailed off again, looking embarrassed.“Well what?” I asked her.She gave me a tentative smile. “The director gave me a challenge when he was sending me here,” she said. “He told me to treat this like a research project. To find some hobbies and, like, figure o

Letting Him In

AudreyI shouldn’t have been surprised with the way that the evening ended up going. It was classic Jesse, through and through. God, how many nights had we gone out bowling with our friends when we were teenagers, all because Jesse wanted to? Granted, it wasn’t like there was all that much to do around town, but he always seemed to be the one to get us off the couches and out the door.There was something to be said for that.Then the conversation? I supposed it was no surprise that I found myself talking about my feelings, my wants, my dreams, my desires, with him. He always had a way of getting me to open up to him. I felt comfortable around him in a way that I didn’t with anyone else. I felt like I could tell him how out of place I felt here, without him thinking that I was just some stuck-up dancer with her head in the clouds.And for the first time since coming back to Aberdeen, I started to wonder if maybe I had been wrong. Maybe there was someone here in North Carolina who real

Signals Crossed

AudreyI wished for an instant that I could see inside of his head. What was going on in there? Why did he always tangle up my emotions like this? One moment, I would swear that we were on the same page, that we were both looking forward to the same things, that we both needed one another. And in the next moment, we were just friends. Nothing more. And we never would be.Jesse cocked his head to the side, though. “You don’t want me to take you home?” he asked slowly.There was a part of me that was still afraid to admit the truth. But then I thought about the fact that I’d be going back to Paris soon enough. I never had to see him again if I didn’t want to. Might as well put all my cards on the table.“Jesse,” I groaned. “I want you. I wanted you when we were teenagers, and I want you now. So no, I don’t want you to take me home. But if this isn’t—” I didn’t get to finish that thought before Jesse was on me again, lunging across the truck and pressing hard against me, his mouth prac

Still Here

JesseI woke up on Thursday when my alarm went off, and I groped on my bedside table for my phone. I yawned as I shut the thing off and then lay there for another moment, already going through my morning in my mind. First, I’d get up, have a quick shower, throw on some jeans and a T-shirt. Then, a quick breakfast of leftover egg hash that I had made the previous morning. And then into work.I quickly ran through a mental inventory of the orders that we had going out that morning. It should be a relatively easy morning, which was good. I had slept well, but it was one of those mornings where I felt like I could definitely just linger in bed for the whole day and be content.I stretched and rolled over, surprised to encounter a wave of long, blonde hair. Audrey woke up with a yelp and shoved me off of her hair, and between my surprise and the strength of her shove, I tumbled naked over the other side of the bed. I landed hard and grunted out a breath. Then, I peered up at her as she scr

What Now?

JesseI stood there under the spray, leaning heavily against the wall with both palms. Jesus, I had slept with Audrey Buchanan. Fucking finally. But how did I deal with this now? What was she thinking? What the hell was I thinking?I was thinking that it was just fun between friends, I finally reminded myself. She would be headed back to Paris in six months at the latest. Our time was limited. Last night was just fun. Nothing more.I breathed out a sigh of relief, nodding to myself. Just friends. Nothing more. Then, I went about my usual morning routine. Audrey was out of my bed when I went back into the room to grab my clothes. I nodded again and forced myself to focus on what I was doing. Joe wasn’t going to hear about this from me. Not as long as I was on time and didn’t give him any reason to wonder what I’d been up to the night before.When I headed downstairs, though, I stopped in my tracks. Audrey was there in the kitchen, wearing one of my flannel shirts. There was coffee alre

Plans For Paris

AudreyIt was a relief to have the house to myself when I got home on Thursday morning. I knew that my absence couldn’t have gone unnoticed. Annabelle at least would have known that I didn’t come home since she and I shared a room. And Mom knew that I had been out after she went to bed the night before. She would put two and two together as well.I wondered what they would say. Of course, Annabelle wasn’t so young anymore. She had to have had a fling or two in her life. It wasn’t like I was a teenager anymore, either. It wasn’t like Mom could really say anything about it. If I wanted to go home with Jesse, that was my prerogative.But what I was more worried about, I realized, was the fact that either of them might be too vocal in their support of my relationship with Jesse. Not that it was a relationship. We were still just friends. I hadn’t missed that pained look that came across Jesse’s face that morning when I had kissed him goodbye. It had flickered across his face, barely notic

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