Lahat ng Kabanata ng The Depth of Fate: Kabanata 41 - Kabanata 50

I unzip Audra’s dress and help her to step out of it. I gently caress her soft skin and turn her around, kissing her slowly and deeply. I want to savor her. She wraps her arms around my neck and submits to me, opening her mouth and allowing our tongues to intertwine. She unbuttons my shirt without breaking our kiss. We make our way to the bed and I lift her up, lay her down, and remove my pants and shirt before climbing back on top of her. We continue our sweet, sensual kisses. Our bodies become one and instead of our usual sweaty, kinky sex we make love.I gaze into her bright blue eyes and see nothing but pure love and affection. We move together in unison and it feels like our souls are on fire as we finish together. We lie together in comfort and I gently rub my hand up and down her back. Nothing could make this moment more perfect than it is. “I love you.” I whisper and softly kiss the top of her head that’s nestled underneath my chin. “I love you too.” She whispers back.

“I’m pregnant.”Audra’s words echo in my mind over and over, flooding my mind with panic and images of Lydia lying in my arms, covered in her own blood. Images of my son barely clinging to life while machines help him breathe. The image of the nurse wheeling my son’s body in on a cooling cot so I can say goodbye even though he was already gone. Words escape from my lips and I don’t even recognize the person saying them. The things I say are ruthless. As I bring my hands up and run my hands through my hair, Audra is suddenly on the floor in the fetal position and covering her face and head. I don’t understand what’s happening. The confusion converts my fear and anger into concern. I crouch down beside her and gently lift her up into my arms. Her breathing is rapid and she is shaking in terror. “Why are you shaking?” I ask softly. Whatever just happened has clearly triggered something within her. I hold her tightly and just rock with her until I can feel her body relax. I give her

I can hear voices but nothing is making any sense. Everything sounds muffled like I’m under water. I want to open my eyes but my eyelids feel like they weigh a thousand pounds. I try to swallow but my throat is dry. The voices and sounds start to become less muffled. Is someone saying my name?“Audra. Audra honey, can you hear me?” Whose voice is that? What is that incessant beeping sound? What the hell is on my face?!I eyes suddenly pop wide open and my hands fly up to my face. “Hold on honey, we need to leave the oxygen mask on. Can you look at me, Audra?”I look around and see fluorescent lights, medical equipment, and a nurse. Suddenly the smell of disinfectants hit me and I feel sick. “Audra I need to you relax and take some deep breaths for me.” This nurse sounds familiar but my head feels fogged and I can’t place who she is. I take several deep breaths before asking her where I am and what is going on. “You’re at the hospital. You just had surgery. Is there anyone in the

I toss back a second shot of tequila and wince slightly as it burns on the way down. I push my shot glass to the edge of the bar and flag down the bartender for another. I am done with classes until fall and I plan to head back to Minnesota for the summer. I should be resting before I start my long drive tomorrow but all I can think about is the hollow feeling in my chest I get every time I think about going back. I was an idiot and pushed Audra away. I finally had my chance with her and I blew it because I panicked like I always do. She was willing to come be with me wherever I go and instead of embracing it, I told her to find someone else. After everything she went through with Tyler, I naively thought she would just stay single and wait until I graduate. I scroll through my Facebook newsfeed and a news article from the Star Tribune catches my eye. It is from the recent charity gala. There is a slideshow of photos from the event. For curiosity’s sake, I scroll through and see m

It’s been a little over a month since Audra and I have had sex. I know I need to let her heal properly and keeping my hands to myself has been excruciating. I came home from work early with the intention of helping myself relieve some tension. I close the door to my office since Lita is here. Before I can turn on my computer, my phone pings. It’s Dave texting me to let me know he emailed the file for the background check I asked for. I abandon my plan for self love and open the file. Simon Thomas Park. Born April 27, 1996. Only child. Lived in Spring Valley, WI. Currently lives in Burlington, VT. No criminal record. No children. Not married. This guy is as basic as it gets. So who is he to Audra and why is he contacting her? Digging further into the file I see they attended the same high school but didn’t attend the same college. There’s really not much that connects them. I open the attached photos. One is of Audra and Simon together in front of a large body of water in the midd